I am Australian. We pride ourselves on our beaches, about having perfected ‘chilling out by the sea.’ So here’s my evaluation of recent beaches I have known. This is a highly personal evaluation, but really, these are some very, very good beaches.
St Ives, Cornwall, England
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| Cornwall’s beach? 8 out of 10 |
Well, yes, England is not the first place in the world you would think to go for a beach holiday. If you had a choice. A lot of people don’t. Mainly English people. And some English beaches are not ideal. But Cornwall was a pleasant surprise. St Ives is a lovely fishing village, winding narrow streets, small white houses and some really pretty, sandy beaches with calm, clean water. Gosh, they even have waves and a surfing school. There are lots of cute shops selling buckets and spades, kitsch souvenirs and ice creams. And you can have a cream tea with the famous Cornish clotted cream, a heart attack on a scone. Unfortunately they also have seagulls that have decided raw fish is not for them and they really prefer scones, hot chips, beer-battered fish. These birds are huge and not very polite – be afraid.
Total Score: 8 out of 10
They lose points because of the notoriously unreliable weather. And the threat of death by seagull.
Bol, Brac, Croatia
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| Bol beach in Croatia? 10 out of 10 |
I’ve been to two islands in Croatia: Hvar and Brac. For clear water, good weather, pretty villages, views and price, this is my place. The beaches are not sand and I’ve realised this is a huge plus. As long as the stones are small and smooth, it’s the perfect beach environment! Pebbles meld to your shape - or you can be a princess and buy a mat to lie on; the sea is clear because there is no silt; your towel, mouth, bag and swimmers don’t become full of grit; and, if it’s windy, there’s no exfoliation by sand-blasting. I’m a happy beachgoer.
The Croatians also have the bright idea of providing simple privacy cabins on the beach for changing clothes – although most people seem to just strip off anyway. And there is usually a café or kiosk nearby. There are ropes and buoys to stop boats and windsurfers coming in and running over swimmers: clever. Oh, and the Adriatic is so salty you can float without moving a muscle. Drowning would be a challenge. No waves – bad for surfers, great for families and the frightened. Also, the seagulls still know they are birds that eat fish and hang around the boats, not the sunbathers. The only downside is the cigarette butts – hardly surprising in a country where smoking remains a national pastime, evidenced by the sign in my apartment: “Please smoke whenever possible on balcony.”
Total Score: 10 out of 10
A beach holiday with no sand! Bliss.
Kioni, Ithaka, Greece
I have only been to the Ionian islands of Greece, Ithaka and Kefalonia, and they are very, very pretty. But my experience of them as beach destinations is a little bleak. I know that’s unusual but I found the beaches a bit painfully stony and the jellyfish plentiful. They won’t kill you but they sting and make swimming a bit of an obstacle course. Not so relaxing. On the upside, there are goats leaping around and it’s so peaceful and the people are lovely. There are great walks to do through olive groves clinging to hills, past fallen down houses deserted after the 1953 earthquake when most of the population emigrated, to tiny churches and the top of the island where the views are spectacular. Or, you can hire a boat and find a little deserted beach all to yourself. Except for the jellyfish.
Total Score: 7 out of 10
The jellyfish lost it a lot of points.
Haarlem, Netherlands
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| Haarlem beach in the Netherlands? 7 out of 10 |
For a country so closely aligned with the sea as to actually be largely underneath it in terms of elevation, the Netherlands is not a great beach destination. It has plenty of coast, miles of sand dunes to amble across and lots of sand but there are a couple of major factors working against it: the weather can be unpredictable and the North Sea is not the cleanest, nicest place to swim. Also, the beach I went to was lined with cafes and bars throwing out loud music and expensive food. I’m more into escaping the oh-so-cool scene and relaxing when I go to the beach – not my kind of beach.
Total Score: 7 out of 10.
Points gained for proximity to Amsterdam.
Santa Monica, Los Angeles, USA
I was lucky to live across the road from this beach when in Los Angeles. And it really was the full LA experience: lifeguards a la Baywatch, people rollerblading with their dogs, homeless sleeping under trees next to 5-star hotels, surfers, suits, joggers, film crews. I had the great experience once of sitting on the sand watching a perfect couple being filmed walking along the beach while behind me a group sat on rugs in a circle having some kind of spiritual encounter, and a small distance away a lifeguard plunged into the sea to help a swimmer caught in the waves. It’s those waves that were my major issue – they were definitely trying to kill me with that undertow. But I did love looking one way to Santa Monica Pier and the other way to the aeroplanes taking off from LAX. This is a beach that is unapologetically part of city life. For a holiday you’d go anywhere else. As a place to live it was pretty great. I only swam once. I survived both the waves and the bacteria. But I never took the plunge again.
Total Score: 8 out of 10.
Lots of points for human interest.
Clovelly Beach, Sydney, Australia
I know everyone loves Bondi and Manly Beaches in Sydney, and they are beautiful in their way. But for my money go to the eastern beaches – Clovelly and Bronte. Bronte has waves which try to kill you (I have a distaste for waves in case you couldn’t tell by now – very unAustralian of me), but it also has one of Sydney’s jewels: a seawater pool under the cliffs which the waves break into – wonderful. Clovelly is my favourite though. A narrow bay with a concrete seawall preventing big waves and sharks from entering, it is full of fish and assorted marine life and is one of the best places to snorkel ever. See, now I’ve mentioned sharks. And they are a definite downside to the beach in Australia. But really, considering how many people go into the water every year, 99.99% of them come back out and in one piece.
Total Score: 9 out of 10
Clovelly gets 10 but everywhere else has waves, waves, waves.
Fitzroy Island, Great Barrier Reef, Australia
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| Great Barrier Reef? 10 out of 10 |
Coral: beautiful, don’t walk on it. You’ll damage it and get an infection in your foot you won’t like. The advantage of Queensland is that it has the good weather year round, especially this far north. It also has some of the best diving and snorkelling in the world along the Great Barrier Reef. The beaches are lovely, and there’s lots of them so you won’t find yourself in crowds. One of the most amazing things for me on European beaches is how close people will sit to strangers – I guess I’m just spoilt by the wide, long, plentiful beaches in Australia.
Total Score: 10 out of 10
Life-changing beauty.
Bellagio, Lake Como, Italy
Playground of the rich, the famous, the flirtatious. Ah, Italian men – they know how to make a girl feel special. On the recommendation of a friendly waiter, we found a great little beach just outside Bellagio in Italy. It was small, had a small café with good food, coffee, wine, and a handsome man serving up beach chairs. He even let me use his little shack to put on my swimsuit; the requisite Moto Guzzi motorcycle was parked outside. The water was clean and cool and, to me, surprising in its lack of salt; I didn’t grow up with lake swimming. There were hardly any people. The sun was hot.
Total Score: 9 out of 10
Not sure why it lost a point, but not quite a 10.
Barcelona, Spain
The ultimate urban beach. A place to work on your tan for tonight’s bar hopping outfit and catch up on sleep from last night’s bar hopping adventure. Lots of people trying to sell you things: drinks, food, massages, clothes, tattoos – I really hope they were henna. Lots of mobile phones ringing, lots of cafes, lots of people checking each other out. I went for a swim in the Mediterranean then realised my mistake as the seventh plastic non-marine-creature floated past; never swim in Barcelona after a night of heavy rain – the storm water goes straight into the sea. Not so good. Also, don’t take anything of value with you – it’ll get stolen, even your boyfriend or girlfriend…
Total Score: 7 out of 10
Great urban landscape, scary water.
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