Growing up in the southern hemisphere, each year my mother sent me to the family dairy farm in Golden Bay, at the top of the South Island of New Zealand, for a two-month summer holiday. Celebrating Christmas with the family, picking juicy blood plums from the tree in the garden, swimming in the crystal-clear river on the property, visiting the milking shed while the cows stared mournfully at me from those deep dark eyes. A simple, innocent life in a small New Zealand country town.

New Zealand - the beauty almost breaks your heart

Now, 20 years later, New Zealand is a Mecca for national and international tourists driving along the extravagantly beautiful coastline, filling up in one of the many cafes that have sprung up on the main streets, or stocking up on supplies for the trek through Abel Tasman National Park or along the Heaphy Track.

Around the New Year there is steady stream of happy campers making their way to one of the raves further along the coast (travel tip: check out the local music shop and organic store for fliers in places like Farewell Spit, perhaps one day The Gathering will be on again). In fact, if I was showing you my New Zealand, this is where I would take you…

Suggested Itineraries in New Zealand: Christchurch to Wine Country

Start in Christchurch, on New Zealand’s South Island. It’s a very quaint town, birthplace of my grandmother, who then reinvented herself as a quintessential English lady, which I am sure has a lot to do with the mock Tudor architecture and colonial history. There is a lovely botanic garden to wander around in, the Arts Centre on Worcester Boulevard has a lively craft market, and the beaches just out of town stretch for miles with golden sands. The Wunderbar in Lyttleton is nestled over the supermarket on London St, and has a superb kitsch style with board games, open-minded hosts and spectacular views of the still working harbour.

Shop along High St, Colombo and Cashel for fabulous NZ designer clothes and incredibly stylish fashion, made with gorgeous fabrics, beautifully cut and designed to fit real women’s bodies. Drop into the Globe Café at 171 High St for coffee and cake.

Fancy a helicopter tour up Fox & Franz Josef glaciers?

Drive over Arthur’s Pass to the tiny mountain village Otira, which was overrun by artists for ‘Oblique’ in 1999, and has since become a thriving creative haven. Continue on to Greymouth, and turn right for some of the wildest, most rugged and spectacular coastline you will see in your life – The Piano was filmed on a beach up here (ask a local which one), or drive left to the experience the effects of global warming at the rapidly disappearing Fox and Franz Josef glaciers.

The tiny coastal town of Hokitika boasts an intriguing second-hand shop and at the local pub you can find out all about the aviation disaster early last century, which explains the photos of an airplane landing in their field.

Heading back to the east, you now have a gentle drive up more beautiful coastline. There are a range of accommodation options to break the journey, from the caravan park right on the beach, to a glamorous hotel and café scene at Kaikoura where you will want to spend some time swimming with the dolphins. We wandered out to the edge of the rocks, and were amazed to see the seals frolicking and cavorting just a few metres away, although there are very strict health regulations about keeping a respectful distance from their habitat.

New Zealand: The view from Kaikoura

Once you’re ready to hit the road again, the highway drifts gently through rolling hills and blue horizons, until you come to the Marlborough Wine country. Cloudy Bay is my pick but I’m no expert, so you’re best off making your own extensive tasting tour. Find a B&B, and take advantage of the incredible range of excellent New Zealand whites produced here.

At this point you have two options, either to head straight to Picton for the sublime ferry ride through the Marlborough Sounds to Wellington, or drive West again to Nelson, and ‘over the hill’ to Golden Bay. Since this is my itinerary, I’m taking you on all the detours and tangents, as that’s the joy of travel.

Not having to keep going in one direction; you may end up headed somewhere you’ve never even heard of. And if you’re really keen, download the wine trail map before you go!

Suggested Itineraries in New Zealand: Onward to Wellington

The drive across to Nelson is only a few hours, and takes you through lovely countryside until you reach this charming town nestled into the hills. There is a veritable plethora of artisan shops selling the work of local jewelers, potters, artists and designers. The café at the very top of the hill on the main road through town has great burgers, and there is a scenic drive back down to the highway, which curves along the coast here for miles. As you travel West again, headed for Golden Bay, you will drive close to the Abel Tasman National Forest, and over what is laughingly called ‘the hill’ by locals; an incredibly steep and twisty mountain road. I always got car sick on this drive as a child, but seem to have survived unscathed this trip.

Watch the valley unfold before you as the road slowly evens out, and you soon arrive in Takaka. Once home to many an ‘alternative lifestyler’ up in the hills, the farming community now appears to be outnumbered by weekend holiday houses and adventurers. This has brought a new buzz to the main street, along with the funky cafes and shops on Main Street. The local pool on the road out of town is where I learnt to swim, with my great-aunt and some of those triathlete cousins who consider a quick run up one of the nearby hills an excellent morning activity. Not before breakfast for me, and certainly not after!

There are plenty of other options for the less actively inclined, like driving to one of the many gorgeous bays for a swim, or a stroll along the boardwalks – but no swimming in the sacred Te Waikoropupu (Pupu) Springs, just outside Takaka. The waters are some of the purest on earth, and were once used for healing and ceremonial blessings for Maoris at birth, death, arrival and departure of travelers.

The nearby walk up a mountain alongside the abandoned power plant is a fabulous three hour hike, and takes you to a sparkling clear pool at the top. It was too cold for any but the most hardy to swim even at the height of summer, but is a satisfying day trip.

The view from Chocolate Fish Cafe

If dancing is your thing, head out to Farewell Spit or one of the local beaches for the summer party season, and shake your booty to the pulse of the pacific ocean. Here you will be one of the first people in the world to see in the new year.

Retrace your steps annd drive back to Picton where we board the ferry for the three-hour trip to Wellington. This takes you through the Marlborough Sounds, truly some of the most luscious, divine scenery on the planet.

In Wellington, visit Te Papa Musuem, and make sure you stop in to the Chocolate Fish Café out along the Karaka Rd on the white sand beach, where visiting rock stars mingle with families on the colourful wooden chairs overlooking the water of Scorching Bay.

The shopping here is again superb, with the cream of local talent such as Starfish, Zambesi, Ricochet, Karen Walker and more scattered along Lambton Quay, Cuba St and Willis St.

An hour away Titahi Bay offers a stunning walk around the cliffs. Head a little further up north to Pukaha Mt Bruce, for a gorgeous walk through the forest of the magnificent wild life sanctuary, where you can see endangered birds and wildlife (Kiwi, Tuatara, Kokako, Kaka) before they are restored to their natural habitat in the forest.

After all that activity, continue in a leisurely fashion up to Rotorua and sloth around in the hot mud, where I will leave you for now.

-Jodi Rose

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s tours and things to do in New Zealand, from Christchurch tours to things to do in Auckland to Bay of Island tours and activities.

It’s an old W-class tram, painted burgundy (not the traditional green) and festooned with lights around the door, like the mirror of a faded star. It glides to a stop in front of us.

Remembrance of trams past

Let me tell you right now that I am a born and bred Melbourne girl. I grew up with trams. I caught a clanky, jerking W-class tram to and from school everyday. And along with a lot of others, I’ve watched sadly as Melbourne experiments with different shapes and sizes of more modern, smoother, big trams. The boxy shape of the W-class is the one in photos, on keyrings and T-shirts. It’s beloved of locals and tourists alike. No smooth, heated, modern ride can take its place in our hearts.

Melbourne's restaurant trams about to pick us up for dinner

And don’t even get me started on the days when trams had conductors; I might cry a gentle tear in memory of the guy we called Frenchie: balding, grinning, accented (almost certainly not French but we were kids). He could twirl his hat around two fingers and always had a joke for the hoards of school kids besieging his tram. Then there was the conductor who overheard a gang of boys telling a racist joke: she pulled the emergency cord, delivered a lecture, and threw them out onto the street. Those were the days.

For a while, there was even a Painted Trams programme when prominent local artists decorated trams top to bottom. Moving art on the streets. Fabulous. Only in Melbourne would people say: ‘I caught the Jon Cattapan to work this morning.’ Or: ‘I crashed my car into the Mirka Mora – wrote it off but Mirka’s painting hardly had a scratch.’

Food on a tram? Quel moderne

But trams were never a place to eat. A chocolate bar perhaps. Cola and a meat pie on the way home from the football maybe. But sirloin steak? Wine? Unheard of. Until 1983 when the first Tramcar Restaurant hit the rails.

Now there are three trams with kitchens trundling around Melbourne, three times a day: lunch; early dinner (pre-theatre), and a later, longer dinner. Visitors to Melbourne flock to it – see the sights while having a meal and a glass of champagne? Genius. It’s taking the locals a little longer to catch on.

In Melbourne to visit my family, I had to work hard to persuade my sisters to consider the idea. My friends flatly refused: it’s just not the done thing as a city resident; trams are for getting from A to B, not ridden for pleasure but only out of necessity. Big mistake.

Finally, with sisters in tow…

My sisters and I huddled in our coats on windy Tramstop #125 as two restaurant trams came into view. The maitre d’ helped us board: the step up is quite steep (it’s even harder stepping down full of food and wine, trust me), showed us to our table and poured the champagne.

The interior is rich and gold. Little lamps, tasselled curtains, white table clothes and shiny silverware; a far cry from the trip to school.

Inside the tram restaurant, looking out over the Yarra River

But the thing that made us happiest was the couple seated across the aisle from our table of four. We’d noticed them at the stop: he was perfect in his suit, she had on a flippy little cocktail dress in white. Immediately we decided tonight was the night: he was going to propose. And now we were seated in prime position to hear her answer. We sipped our champagne and prepared for the romance to unfold.

We were doing the early sitting of dinner so the menu was three courses: bread and dips appetisers, steak or chicken main, white chocolate and passionfruit mousse or sticky date pudding dessert. Not hugely adventurous but they’re cooking on a tram so that’s forgiven. (The later dinner is five courses, lunch is four.)

Smooth as silk, tram-jam free

Having learnt early in life how to stand without falling over as a W-class tram bucked and braked, we were all stunned by how smooth the ride was. I know they have equipped the trams with extra suspension but they’ve also apparently recruited the most talented drivers. In fact a friend of mine confessed that when she was driving trams, she applied several times to drive the restaurant and was deemed ‘not smooth enough’.

Inside the tram restaurant

The other strong memory of standard tram travel is tram jams – getting stuck in a line of trams caught by peak hour traffic or a car turning right. The restaurant tram is carefully routed so it avoids the worst snarls, travelling mainly down roads with a designated tram lane, and seems to have been timetabled to not have to stop constantly behind the normal commuter vehicles. I have almost no memory of us stopping – except for traffic lights, or to turn around. And we departed and arrived on the minute scheduled – now, why can’t they run the whole public transport system this well?

Our route began by heading past the Casino across the Yarra River to the edge of the city. As day faded into evening, we saw the city lights twinkle, bridges and boats. Then we turned around and headed through one of Melbourne’s oldest suburbs, South Melbourne, with its grand old Victorian terrace houses and a pub on every corner.

Turning around is one of the tricks of the tram restaurant. Melbourne trams can be driven from either end. While trams around Europe swing around a huge looping track to go back the other way, their driver staying put in his chair, Melbourne trams stop in the middle of the road, the driver leaps out carrying his driving handle, runs the length of the tram, hops in the cabin at the other end, and starts driving back the way they came. What this means for diners on the restaurant tram is that it doesn’t matter which side of the table you sit – half the time you’re facing forward, and half the time you’re looking at where you’ve just been.

The food? Mostly delicious

The pate and dip for appetisers were delicious, and the champagne slipped down very well as we sat warmly behind one-way glass watching the less cosseted struggle home in the wind. Our orders were taken and the main course arrived quickly. Clearly most of the food is pre-prepared and just heated for serving on the tram. I had a vegetarian meal which was alright but nothing special, my sister-in-law had chicken which she said was a little tough, but both my sisters had steak and said it was absolutely delicious. The menu is limited and I think the trick is to choose what needs to be cooked on the spot, like steak. They were also really impressed by the local wines included in the price.

By now we were heading through St Kilda, Melbourne’s historic and quirky seaside suburb. It was dark and lights twinkled on the water of Port Phillip Bay while closer at hand people hurried to restaurants and cake shops in famous Acland Street. We stopped, the driver ran past the window, and we headed back, past theatres, and the laughing mouth of Luna Park, towards the city.

Dessert came quickly – the first dinner sitting runs to a fairly tight schedule – and the sticky date pudding was delicious. Perfect for a stormy night. My sister said the chocolate mousse could have been better. Then coffee and tea – urn not espresso machine - and yummy chocolates and liqueurs, also included in the price. They even had my favourite: Frangelico. Very happy.

Back home and pleasantly surprised

When the meal was finished, the waiter came and gave us each a flower to take home – a nice touch. Except it was a carnation: Australia has great native flowers and one of those might have been more interesting. Although, Australian flora can be a little too interesting: big, spiky, spooky. I can sort of see why they chose the carnations.

Off the tram and back on Tramstop #125, we looked at each other in surprise. It was like we’d been transported to a different world. On the tram, we’d been warm, eaten well, drunk richly, watched the world go by; now we were back in it. I could have stayed on the tram another few hours. Perhaps even remained for breakfast.

And as to the couple opposite… Well, just before dessert came, he pulled out a small wrapped box and gave it to her. She blushed and he waited. She opened it. Kissed him. We got ready to congratulate. Until we saw that it was earrings. And that she was already wearing a wedding ring. And so, thankfully, was he.

Only a birthday then. Oh well. But hey, I still got to drink champagne on a tram: never did that going to school!

-Philippa Burne

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Melbourne tours & things to do in Melbourne, including the Colonial Tram Restaurant. You can also read reviews of the Melbourne tram restaurant and browse photos of the Melbourne tram restaurant over on the Viator site.

If Tony Wheeler didn’t exist, we’d need to invent him. You’ll know Tony if you’ve ever hauled a backpack around the globe with only a fuzzy itinerary (Asia?? why not!) and a money belt stuffed full with everything except money. Along with shoes and toothbrush, the only other required piece of gear was the guidebook.

Inevitably it was a Lonely Planet guidebook.

Tony Wheeler is the co-founder of Lonely Planet (along with his wife, Maureen). Which makes Tony the godfather, granddaddy and don of travel. This is a man who’s set foot in nearly every country on the planet (Iraq? Check. North Korea? Check. East Timor? Check.) This is a man who knows travel.

Tony Wheeler in Afghanistan, at Christ-e-Sharif

His story is legendary. After arriving in Sydney in 1972, after a six month Asia overland trip from Europe, he had 27 cents left in his pockets. After numerous friends asked him for advice on making the same journey, he decided to publish a book. In 1973 Lonely Planet’s first title was published, Across Asia on the Cheap, documenting their trip from London to Australia. In 1975 they published their second title, South-East Asia on a Shoestring.

From those early guidebooks Lonely Planet grew into the world’s largest independent guidebook publisher - more than 500 titles in print, an award-winning website, a respected image library, television programming and video, more than 400 staff in Melbourne, London and Oakland (California). In 2007 the Wheelers sold a majority interest in Lonely Planet to BBC Worldwide, the commercial arm of the venerable BBC. Tony is still closely involved with the company. In 2009 he hit the road to film segments in Laos and Alaska with a crew from Lonely Planet TV.

Death of the guidebook? Premature

Viator: Is the guidebook dead? Or are reports of its death premature?

Tony Wheeler: The death of print is the wrong way to think of it. Print is everywhere. There are more words being published on paper than ever before. What’s changing is the guidebook - it’s not going to stay on paper for ever. It’s migrating to mobile phones, downloads (have a look at Lonely Planet’s pick-and-mix PDF downloads) and, of course, the internet. So the guidebook is definitely not dead.

Viator: So if the guidebook isn’t quite dead, what is the role of a printed guidebook in 2009?

Tony Wheeler: Think about a destination like Congo and Zaire and - the guidebook itself may be a little outdated - but the maps are helpful. And overall, there are not many guidebooks to Congo, so in that case a guidebook is invaluable.

Another example: Our Cycling in Italy title, it went out of print a few years ago. Now it’s being sold on ebay for $150 a copy. The reason? It’s the perfect format for cycling. You’re not going to duck into an internet cafe while you’re on a long-haul cycling trip. And it’s the same thing when you’re traveling off the grid. Guidebooks are wonderful back-ups. People have been predicting the death of guidebooks for many years, they’re wrong. People love books.

Tony in Iraq

Viator: Travel experts versus group wisdom - is the role of an official “author” still crucial? Or has user-generated content taken over?

Tony Wheeler: Even Zagat’s (which relies on user-submitted reviews) requires experts to pull everything together. Lonely Planet’s own Thorn Tree is another good example. There’s great depth of content on the Thorn Tree - right now a traveler is on the spot in Congo, in Libya, in Tibet, posting to the Thorn Tree - but still there are gaps.

Even if 500 people on TripAdvisor endorse something, it doesn’t mean that the quality hasn’t suffered recently. And that’s where guidebook authors come in. And then there’s Iraq and Afghanistan - only Lonely Planet is sending people there right now.

Viator: What surprises you nowadays about travel, in the way that people travel?

Tony Wheeler: Frankly I’m surprised that people show up in the oddest of places. I took a 4×4 to the most remote corner of Africa, and yet there was a couple traveling the same route by bicycle. Amazing. It’s hard to push the edges of travel now, especially in Europe. I’m also surprised how easy it is to travel now. People in the UK heading to Prague for the weekend, that sort of thing. Travel has maybe become too easy.

Viator:What’s on your travel agenda this year?

Tony Wheeler: I wrote a book called Badlands, about traveling to the so-called Axis of Evil (Iraq, North Korea, Iran). I credit the book to George W. Bush. I’ve always been interested in edgy countries and I’d been kicking around the idea of writing something about ‘pariah’ countries. When Mr. Bush produced his ‘Axis of Evil’ list, my first thought was “I’ve got to go there.” So the Evil Axis trio formed the core of my ‘Bad Lands’ and it was no trouble to come up with a half dozen other contenders.

Perhaps surprisingly, I had a great time in all my ‘Bad Lands’ and – apart from a little uneasiness in Afghanistan and Iraq – I was never particularly concerned for my safety. North Korea was easily the weirdest: a place alternating between horror and comedy, a Stalinist theme park, a gulag run by Monty Python.

I’d like to follow that up with a book about “Weird Lands”, countries that have fallen off the rails somehow. Think about Congo - it’s gone steadily backwards since 1958. Or Colombia, which has been ruined by America’s fight against drugs. Somalia, Haiti, there are many off-the-rail countries to choose from.

Viator: Would you share a few of your favorite travel experiences with us?

Tony Wheeler: Last year I visited the cosmonaut training center at Star City outside Moscow, then flew down to the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan. I had a close-up look at the Soyuz FG launcher the evening before the launch, met with Richard Garriott (game entrepreneur who paid USD $30 million for the ride) and his back up Nik Halick (they were behind glass, in quarantine) and stood at dawn to see the Soyuz crew (followed by an assortment of support crew which even included an orthodox priest). As interesting as the rocket launch was my fellow passengers – our little group of Richard Garriott supporters included Sergey Brin and Larry Page of Google, Peter Diamandis of the X Prize, Charles Simonyi, formerly of Microsoft and a 2007 space tourist, and assorted other space tourism followers.

Walking to the Soyuz bus, just before launch

I also have the Planet Wheeler Foundation to keep me busy. Our 2008 projects ranged from building a children’s clinic in Cambodia to funding medical training in Afghanistan. My favorite project in 2008 was the Melbourne Solar System. It’s a 1:1 billion scale model of our Solar System, starting with the Sun – a 1.4 metre diameter bronze orb that weighs 350kg (over 700 lbs). It’s on the waterfront bicycle path that runs along Melbourne’s bayside, starting at the St Kilda Marina. Jump on your bicycle and pedal west, you’ll come to Mercury in just 58 metres, Venus in 108 metres, the Earth (and our moon) in just 150 metres.

Cycling past Jupiter in Melbourne

The reality of course is that Earth is 150 million km from the Sun. After Mars the distances start to stretch. You’ll have pedaled 2.9 km from the Sun before you come to Uranus, at that one to one billion scale the reality is 2,900 million km. Keep going and you’ll have ridden out of St Kilda, past Middle Park and Albert Park and finally, the other side of Port Melbourne, you’ll come to tiny Pluto, 5.9 km from your solar starting point.

-Scott McNeely

It’s 6:05am in Sydney and I slowly open my eyes to see a bright orange glow around the window blinds. It’s eerie – like a scene from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I open the blind and am greeted by a magical orange world. It’s like a Fanta fog has descended on the neighbourhood.

The dust storm in Sydney. End of the world? Likely.

I grab my camera and super-wide lens assuming it’s a sunrise phenomena and run outside in my undies and T-shirt to try and capture the moment. Snap, snap around the yard, catch the trees, the porch, the cars. I figure that it will be gone in a couple minutes or less.

This ain’t no sunrise

Sydney dust storm - this ain't no sunrise

As I get showered and dressed I realise from the continued orange glow this ain’t no sunrise. It just seems to be consistent, no lighter, no darker just orange…

Cool! Maybe it will last until I get to the Harbour bridge – let’s pack the camera on the passenger seat and see what happens. As I’m driving along snapping shots out the window of this weird new world, I can’t believe it doesn’t fade away.

Oh man! Look at those cavemen go

Over the bridge (can’t even see the city from there), into town, grab some more surreal shots. At the office it’s real weird with the lights off and this Mars glow in every window. A couple snaps to highlight the difference between the cold white indoor lights and the sickly warm tones outside.

The orange buildings and streets viewed from the window are deadly quiet, only interrupted by the sirens as fire trucks rush to false alarms set off by the dust storm.

Apparently half of NSW was engulfed in dust this morning. Never seen in living memory. Now it’s 2pm with the sun shining and blue skies once again in this land of endless wonder.

-Jeff Lewis

More photos:

Driving over the Sydney Harbour bridge

The view from inside Viator’s Sydney office:

Viator's Sydney office inside. Apocalypse outside.

And while it’s still possible to sneak into sessions through the day at Melbourne’s big chain cinemas (not that I’m recommending it, of course), daytime is so much busier these days, what with work and babies and stuff, making such decadent spontaneity difficult to arrange in advance.

So that leaves balmy summer evenings as the only warm-weather time to see movies. And until the advent of outdoor cinema in Melbourne, that meant staying inside at the best time of the day. No longer.
Moonlight Cinema was the trailblazer, setting up a screen in Melbourne’s lush Botanical Gardens and playing first-run, classic and cult movies under the stars. It took off and is now a real Melbourne experience, featuring catering, bean beds for hire and sell-out sessions most nights.

Competing for this chicken-and-white-wine market is the newer OpenAir cinema at Birrarung Mar, a fabulous park by the river in the city. An enormous screen, grandstand seating and movieplex titles draw huge book-ahead crowds and even bigger sponsorship deals.

But that leaves the hipsters with nowhere to go. Or it did until last year, when the gritty Rooftop CinemaThe Breakfast Club, Easy Rider, My Own Private Idaho or Dogs in Space. cranked up in the heart of the city and started showing a diverse range of indy and cult movies. The pick of the bunch now, Rooftop is perfect for those wanting a cold beer and a dose of

There’s also an open-air cinema down on the foreshore in St Kilda. I’m a bit scared of St Kilda (sea air does strange things to people, dontcha think?), so I can’t report first-hand on it. It runs through February, features live music and DJs and is probably loads of fun. Check out their website — stkildaopenair.com.au — if you can endure the annoying 38-second song that plays.

-John Ryan

Planning a trip? Check out John’s Melbourne summertime travel tips and his Melbourne pub guide. Or have a look at all of Viator’s tours and things to do in Melbourne, from Colonial Tram Car dinners to Yarra Valley Wine Tasting.

All in all, a great evening.

Naive? Check. Narrow minded? Check.

Back at the hotel I Googled the restaurant to see what else I could learn about it, and was flabbergasted to read some of the nonsense that “reviewers” had posted after their own experiences there. Which got me to thinking: how often does a reviewer’s opinion have nothing to do with the establishment, and everything to do with the reviewer’s naivety, narrow-mindedness and lack of real-world experience?

Think before you complain (especially if you're American)

I started looking at reviews for some of the hotels and restaurants I’d enjoyed recently. And I got some pretty rude shocks. Hotels where I’d found everything to my liking were roundly derided as having poor service and lax standards, while my favoured restaurants were often seen as being second-rate.

Digging a little deeper, I found the problem was most evident in those cases where US-based reviewers had opined on international establishments. I found myself generally agreeing with the collective wisdom of Brits, Aussies and other domestic-market travellers, but was often sharply at odds with US reviews of my favourites in Europe and Asia.

Americans - stupid, ignorant and mean?

As I read more and more of these negative reviews I saw a pattern emerge. Now, you’d better brace yourself for some pretty outlandish statements coming up here; and none of them supported by any detailed research or opinion polling or any of that scientific stuff. But you decide. Here’s a summary of my thesis:

• Of all the major western, developed nations, America stands out as having a population that, in comparison to others, doesn’t really travel overseas that much
• Having said that, Americans love to share their travel experiences, filling sites like Viator, TripAdvisor, IgoUgo and others with literally millions of opinions about everything
• These two ingredients often combine into a potent mix that oozes stupidity, ignorance and, sad to say, mean-spiritedness

Here’s what I mean. A reviewer who says of a Moscow restaurant that “the servers were surly and unfriendly” clearly doesn’t realise that in Moscow the brusque manner of people in customer-facing roles is not seen as a negative by the locals; far from it, in fact. They would describe it as a “no nonsense, matter of fact” approach, and by comparison would have great disdain for the staff at your local TGIF, probably thinking them “transparently false.”

People, you hate too much

Sunday roast looks good to me, but not to everyone...

Examples like this abound. Suggesting that “activities are limited” on a Fijian island completely misses the point about Fiji — and many island destinations, where doing nothing is the whole idea!

Complaints about the size of bedrooms in London hotels fail completely to take into account the price of real estate in one of the world’s most crowded cities.

While negative statements about driving distances in Australia just demonstrate that a rudimentary knowledge of geography might be a good thing.

Read enough of these diatribes and you’ll suspect that many reviewers simply want domestic U.S. standards applied all over the world, so that no matter where they go they are greeted by a Gap-clad 20-something with a plastic smile and a menu… or a breakfast buffet that’s reminiscent of their favourite Sheraton. Sort of like the English tourists who stay in those little ‘British’ villages in Spain with ‘el Fish & Chips’ and ‘el Pub.’

Well, no. That’s not how it should be. Diversity is what makes the world an interesting place, and it’s the underlying reason why we travel. I want those Russian waiters to be off-hand; I want the French waiter to sneer at my wine order when he thinks it makes no sense; I want the Fijian check-in staff to hide out back when they see me coming; and I want the bell-hop in Las Vegas to treat me like the most important guest to check-in that day, even when I know I’m not.

The LAST thing I want is for the rest of the world to adopt false standards! Especially false American standards.

I think, therefore I complain

So please. Stop and think a little before posting that negative review. Was the service really bad, or just “different”? Was the food really too spicy, or is that just how it is in Northern India? If that beer was served warm, was there a reason why?

Travel’s an education. And from what I’ve been reading, there’s quite a few reviewers out there who could do with one of those.

-Rod Cuthbert

Editor’s note: Rod Cuthbert is the founder of Viator, Inc. You can read more of Rod’s musings here.

Happy Kids - Happy Holidays!

Sydney, Australia

Sydney has an outdoor culture that children, by and large, adore. The beaches are an obvious starting point – those on the harbour itself are safer swimming spots for the younger ones, while the surf beaches along the coast are brilliant for the more adventurous tykes. It’s even possible to do learn-to-surf courses at Bondi Beach. But the outdoor ethos stretches beyond the beaches. Centennial Park is another fantastic place to hang out, whether it’s for playing park football or cricket, having a picnic or barbecue or going to the open air cinema in the summer. There’s also the chance to hire rollerblades or go horse-riding around the park.
And once you throw in boat rides on the harbour and the street entertainers at Circular Quay and Darling Harbour, Sydney is obviously something of a family tourism heaven.

Feeding the Kangaroos at Taronga Zoo, Sydney

But then comes the trump card – Australian wildlife. Sydney is crammed with excellent animal experiences where kids (and big kids) can get close to koalas, kangaroos and other Australian fauna. The best two are arguably Taronga Zoo and the Featherdale Wildlife Park. The former is arguably the best located zoo in the world, with superb harbour views. It also has some excellent keeper-guided behind-the-scenes tours. Featherdale is a little more rough and ready, but is brilliant for getting photos with koalas and being able to hand-feed kangaroos.

Singapore

Another city with awesome animal attractions is Singapore. Singapore Zoo pioneered the “open” concept, where animals are in full view rather than cages, and kept away from visitors by well concealed moats that are below eye level. Next to it is the Night Safari, a rather novel zoo concept. Essentially it offers the opportunity to stroll (or be driven) around a jungle at night, while the nocturnal creatures are at their most active. They’re all subtly lit up and animals from various different areas of the world are represented.

Singapore is also surprisingly green – there are some massive parks and nature reserves for children to explore. Apparently, Rio De Janeiro is the only other city in the world to have rainforest within the city boundaries. For indoor activities, the Science Centre is an excellent bet. It’s full of entrancing technology, has plenty of buttons for inquisitive little ones to press and goes for a very hands-on approach.

Copenhagen, Denmark

The Danish capital has long been billed as a fairytale city – mainly due to its links with Hans Christian Andersen – and it’s unsurprising that kids seem to love it so much. For lovers of Andersen’s stories, there’s the famous Little Mermaid statue, Hans-themed walking trails and a dedicated museum. But there’s more to Copenhagen than ugly ducklings and the Emperor’s New Clothes. For a start it’s home to the two oldest theme parks in the world.

Amusement park in Bakken, Copenhagen

They’re not Disneyfied affairs, and still have buckets of charm. The oldest is just to the north of the city and is part of an enormous park – Dyrebakken. Dyrebakken was formerly a royal hunting ground, but it has now been turned into one of the world’s greatest parks – families swarm to it when the sun comes out.

Part of the great swathe of green is Bakken, which has plenty of quaintly old-fashioned rides amongst lots of restaurants and cafés. The second oldest amusement park is right in Copenhagen city centre. Tivoli is pretty much opposite the main train station and is an action-packed funland mixed in with beautiful gardens. The rides are generally a bit more up-to-date (and scarier) than those at Bakken, and it’s quite easy to while away the day in Tivoli’s grounds.

Los Angeles

Unsurprisingly, the movie capital of the world has plenty to keep the little ones entertained. An obligatory first stop has to be Hollywood, where the youngsters can hunt down the stars of their heroes on the Walk of Fame and watch the fancy dress circus outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. The Hollywood Museum and celebrity homes tours are generally winners as well.

Then there are the movie studios. Films are still made at the likes of Warner Brothers and Universal Studios, but most of the visitors aren’t part of movie crews any more. The big studio complexes have morphed over the years to become theme parks in all but name – and even for theme park cynics, they are genuinely superb. Universal Studios, for example, has plenty of film-themed rides and shows, but the highlight is the backlot tour. This takes guests around where the movie magic is made and is educational as well as entertaining. It’s interspersed with some big action movie set pieces, such as a village flooding or a helicopter crashing.

LA also has beaches and plenty of odd attractions such as the La Brea tar pits, where fossils of mammoths and more have been trapped for thousands of years.

London

There’s so much to do in London that it’s virtually impossible to be bored. Many of the standard kiddy favourites are present and correct – London Zoo is one of the best in the world, boat trips down the River Thames are regular and affordable, and there are some fabulous open spaces such as Hyde Park and Regent Park.

London Natural History Museum

If you have to pick one area, then South Kensington is a sure fire winner. It’s home to two of the world’s most child-friendly museums. The Science Museum has lots of interactive exhibits about how our world works, and many displays with a wow factor. Even better is the Natural History Museum, which is like a zoo but with stuffed animals. The massive whale and dinosaur skeletons are always popular, while the hands-on creepy crawly exhibits should delight the sort of young boy that revels in pulling the legs off spiders.

These kids will also enjoy the gruesome tales on offer at the Tower of London and London Dungeon. There are some rather interesting tours too – such as one of Harry Potter filming locations by black taxi, or a land-and-water trip in an amphibious ‘duck’ vehicle.

-David Whitley

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Sydney tours & things to do in Sydney for tips and itineraries in Australia, and check Singapore tours & sightseeing in Singapore for local trips. Going to Europe? Our Copenhagen activities and our London tours & attractions will help you out choosing the best tours. Or be the star of the day with one of Viator’s Los Angeles trips & activities.

And you’d be right. There are about 150 beaches in the Sydney metropolitan area! The city’s spread along a long coastline fronting the Pacific Ocean, full of coves and rivers, ocean pools and surf, cliffs and treacherous waves. It’s spectacular and awesome and chilled out, all at the same time. And as winter starts to release its grip in Australia and we head into summer (remember summer in Australia starts in December!) I’ve created a Sydney beach guide to get you in the mood for the next Australian summer.

Sydney Beach Guide: Harbour Beaches

You can divide Sydney’s beaches into harbour beaches, and the southern and northern ocean beaches. I think of the northern beaches and I think of surf and bush (as in, plants and shrubs). Of the southern and I think of blocks of apartments climbing hills overlooking some great ocean views.

Sydney's Bronte Beach

Within the harbour, Balmoral Beach is my pick. While the ocean waves pound outside Sydney Heads, Balmoral sits tucked safely inside with its calm water and sandy beach. Surrounded by trees and expensive houses, the lovely Bathers Pavilion has a restaurant and cafe if you get sick of the sun and sand, and it’s only a short way from the centre of the city. It’s been a popular beach since the 1930s and is a conservation area.

Another popular harbour beach is Neilsen Park. Don’t be put off by its alternate name: Shark Bay. The beach has a shark net protecting it. Although it would be hard to convince non-Sydneysiders that this is enough to keep the sharp toothed marauders away. The media, especially the world media, loves reporting shark attacks; you’d think it was the only thing that ever happened in Australia. The real news is that hundreds of thousands, millions of people swim every year in Sydney, and very few get eaten. Really.

Sydney Beach Guide: Southern Ocean Beaches

Of course, the ocean beaches are a bit riskier. Harder to protect with shark nets and the summer of 2008/9 did see a lot of visits from sharks. Can you blame them for wanting to go to the most popular beaches in the world? And, again, almost no one ever gets eaten. There is an underwater shark net to protect these beaches so… we’ll see.

Bondi's Lifesavers: Vigilance

Bondi is one of the most famous beaches – it’s the one that always gets on TV and into movies. One of the southern beaches, it’s a kilometre of golden sand, with the iconic lifesavers in red and yellow to pull people out of the surf if necessary. There’s an internationally popular TV show called Bondi Rescue about these heroes, and they really are heroes!

At the southern end of Bondi Beach is a rip which takes people out a little deeper than they intended – locally it’s known as the Backpacker Express. The other end of the beach is quieter, kinder. I have to say that while I appreciate the beauty of Bondi, I have never swum there. I am too scared of waves. Not very Australian of me, I know. I’m just not that keen to make it onto reality TV.

One of the things I love about these Sydney beaches is the ocean swimming pools. Forged from the natural rocks and a bit of concrete, these pools are filled by seawater, with the waves breaking into them at high tide. It’s just like swimming in the sea but much, much safer. Bondi has its famous Icebergs pool and swimming club, dating back to 1929 when the lifesavers needed to keep fit throughout winter without braving the roiling seas. Now there is also a swanky restaurant called Icebergs Dining Room, with some of the best views in Sydney.

A little further down the coast to the south are my favourite beaches: Bronte and Clovelly. Bronte has a pool that I love, and the usual Sydney cafes, and trees and hills full of apartments with views to die for. Many of the apartment buildings are older style and sometimes almost affordable – if you are in the movies, or otherwise stumbled over a large pile of cash.

It’s a lovely walk along the clifftops near Bronte and Tamarama beaches. Waverley Cemetery perches on the cliffs here and has some of the best views in the world. If I ever live in Sydney, this will be my dream location.- not the cemetery, I mean Bronte. But I definitely won’t be swimming at Tamarama Beach – pretty it might be, safe it’s not. Considered on of the most dangerous beaches on Australia’s east coast, it’s small and deep and the smallest bit of weather can whip the water into a frenzy of waves and rips; you’ve been warned. Mind you the surf lifesavers at this beach haven’t let anyone drown yet – pretty impressive. I’m still not venturing in there though.

Clovelly Beach is my favourite because it is small and protected by a sea wall – no waves! And the little bay is full of marine life. I can take a mask and snorkel and float face-down until my skin’s all wrinkled and the huge blue fish are totally sick of me watching them. Fabulous. And great for kids. Not so much a place to go for sunbathing and glamour – more for gawking at the marine life.

Nearby Coggee is also great for its pools and for wandering off the beach as the sun starts to drop in the sky, heading for one of the cafes or beer gardens overlooking the beach and just watching the moon rise. And people get to live here everyday! I should be so lucky…

Syndey Beach Guide: Northern Ocean Beaches

On the other side of the famous Sydney Harbour Heads are the northern beaches. Manly is probably the most popular and is easily reached by ferry from Circular Quay. Again, it’s a long sandy ocean beach, but with the benefit of having a calm harbour side beach also. Little Manly Beach is often cited as one of the best beaches for kids to swim, and for having picnics in the grassy park. Nearby Shelly Beach, also inside the Heads, is a good place for diving with lots of marine life and calm waters.

Manly Beach volleyball game.

Further north along the coast, you get to the beaches whose names just mean surfing and beach culture: Curl Curl, Narrabeen and Dee Why. Made famous, or infamous, in the book and film Puberty Blues by Kathy Lette and Gabrielle Carey, when the boys surfed and the girls waited on the beach with food, a dry towel, and the dog. These days the girls get to surf too.

Even further north are the other places I could quite happily live were I to call Sydney my permanent home. Palm Beach and Whale Beach are gorgeous, and a little quieter than the beaches closer to central Sydney. The areas surrounding the beaches are full of trees and houses clinging to the hills. Some of these original beach holiday shacks have survived, although a lot of mansions have come to roost also. But the terrain and the local councils stop people building total horrors so the area remains pretty. It’s still close enough to commute to work in the city each day, although Sydney’s traffic can be a bit of a nightmare. And the shopping areas still have a local feel about them, unlike the tourist-thronged esplanades of Bondi and Manly.

Just inland from here lies Pittwater. A bay full of yachts and little villages, which are actually still suburbs of Sydney. It’s surrounded by Ku Ring Gai Chase National Park, which is huge and bushy and great for bushwalking. In the middle of Pittwater lies Scotland Island, which has no cars and is only accessible by boat. People living here rely on ferries or private boats to get home and for all their shopping. Likewise some of the bays around Pittwater have no road access, only boats. Which would explain why there are so many yachts tied up in the marina. Here and the Harbour are great places for sailing and those who prefer to whip across the water rather than slide into it flock here on weekends.

I just read a book about living in Pittwater – Sanctuary Creek by Susan Duncan. The lifestyle sounds so romantic and wonderful – a close knit community, a closeness to nature, silence, - and I’m sure it is, but – and again I am a terrible Australian – the thought of so many spiders and snakes scares the living daylights out of me. I think I’d rather try my luck with the sharks - there are fewer of them.

-Philippa Burne

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Sydney tours & things to do in Sydney. Also check out Rod’s previous post about Sydney’s Bondi Beach.

And for once all those chattering returnees are right: Uluru is somewhere you must go. Distance be damned, stock up on camera batteries and sunscreen and get thee to the middle of Australia. We decided to fly to Alice Springs, hire a car and drive down to Ayers Rock and Uluru. A simple plan. And as it turned out, a good one.

Mighty, beautiful, stunning Uluru

The middle of Australia. Might as well see a bit.

For starters, if you’re going to go all the way to the middle of the huge Australian island continent, you might as well see a bit of it. I know it is possible to fly in and out of Ayers Rock Airport but, well, don’t. You’ll miss out on so much: the desert, the distance, and the journey as the destination (to borrow from Dan Eldon).

You’ll also miss out on Alice Springs. This is a town like no other. Because we weren’t picking up the car until the next day, we had to walk everywhere, which sort of made us stand out like freaks. The town is not big, but going out to one of the galleries we soon discovered that they don’t expect a lot of foot traffic – there are no sidewalks. Luckily there wasn’t much traffic either. Well, not human traffic. Insect traffic there was in abundance.

And sun. Oh my, the hot hot sun. Possibly my decision to carry a parasol through Alice Springs also made us the object of some ridicule.

A million shades of sunshine. And rain!

It’s easy to think a desert is just going to be a huge, boring expanse of nothing. But you couldn’t be more wrong. In the course of the 440km (273 miles) drive from Alice to Uluru, the landscape just keeps changing.

Alice Springs - what a town!

Yes, it’s flat. And yes, it’s got very few trees but there is something about the light and the space that just keeps shifting. It took us ages to finally get to Yulara, the small tourist town near Ulura, largely because we kept stopping to get out of the car and just stare. At the vegetation, the far horizon and the awesomely tough plants that seem to survive without rain.

Except that there was rain.

This is not common and we were very lucky. It’s not often that you want your holiday to get rained out but this time we were grateful.

The only problem was that we were meant to be stopping for one night at Kings Canyon on the way to Uluru. I hear Kings Canyon is awesome. I’ve still not been there. Because the road was flooded by the sudden downpour and we couldn’t get in. Which also meant the people already there couldn’t get out: I hope they enjoyed our room for that night. Because we ended up sleeping in the car! And still, I loved this trip!

Uluru ho!

Kings Canyon a washout, we continued on to Yulara. Head south on the highway out of Alice Springs, turn right at Erldunda, head west, you can’t miss it. Although beware of false rocks. We had a moment of madness as a large red rock finally heaved into view out of the flatness, but it was Mount Conner. We got back in the car and continued towards the setting sun.

Arriving at Yulara, we found our hotel and explained we were a day early. They nodded: the rain. I wondered if the place was normally this crowded. They shook their heads: the rain. Apparently, rain on the Rock is so special and so unusual that when it happens tourist groups charter planes to fly immediately into the middle of the desert carrying only their wallets and their cameras. Mainly Japanese and Americans apparently.

Anyway, wherever they were from, they were occupying every bed in the resort. The receptionist gave us blankets, pillows and a lovely smile. Using my parasol now for rain not shine, we ran back to the car to bed down for the night.

I have never been so happy to sleep in a car! Because we were woken by the dawn – or perhaps the rumble of all the tour buses starting their engines. Whatever woke me, I thank it. Because it was only a matter of throwing the blanket off and turning the ignition key and we were on our way to watch the sunrise over Uluru. This is a must-do. I’m not a morning person so without the ugly awakening in the car park I might never have made it. And it was spectacular. The gray clouds, the pink light, the dark slashes of the yesterday’s rain breaking up the red of the Rock. Wonderful.

Once the sun had risen and the camera batteries had been flattened, all the extras headed straight out to the airport and back to Sydney to continue their lives. While we got to check into our room, have a shower and breakfast and unkink our spines with a few yogic stretches by the pool.

At the foot of Uluru

Later in the day, we drove back out to the Rock and parked at the base of where people climb to the top. Uluru is 348 metres high (1,141 feet), a 95-storey building. The path to the top is 1.6 km (1 mile) long. On steep rock. In the hot sun. There is a chain to hang on to at the steepest part. And plaques in memory of all those who have fallen off.

Regardless of the safety or danger of this climb, for me there was another much more important consideration: the Aboriginal custodians of Uluru ask that we don’t climb the rock. For them this is a sacred place and they’d like a bit of respect. I haven’t seen a lot of churches being climbed lately, have you?

I didn’t climb. The person I was travelling with did. We had words about it.

Instead I walked around the base of the Rock, which was fantastic. Post rain, there were waterfalls and little secret pools to find. And the smell! So good!

It felt like I was totally alone because the area is huge – and most people are milling around the base of the climb. I think if I go there again, I will definitely do a guided base walk; it was great just enjoying the majesty and beauty of nature but when we visited the cultural centre later I realised just how much information I had missed out on.

Next stop, Kata Tjuta (the Olgas)

That night, we watched the sunset over the Rock. Again, obligatory and worthwhile. Truly I have never seen such beauty as I did at Uluru. And there is a magic about the place. You can understand why it’s so important to the Aboriginal people; in fact even without knowing their culture; you can feel how special the place is.

Sunset at Kata Tjuta

Next day, after a glorious sleep-in, we headed for Kata Tjuta (the Olgas). These too are incredible. But boy was it hot. Take plenty of water. Once again, my parasol became a parasol. And the object of yet more curiosity. Perhaps a hat may be more practical for squeezing through narrow crevices and rocky passageways. Whatever style statement you decide to make, head to Kata Tjuta early – the sun really radiates off all that red rock.

Another night, another sunset

Another night, another sunset, another swim in the hotel pool and we headed back to Alice Springs. This is perhaps when I could compromise on my ban on Ayers Rock Airport – flying out of there might have been a good idea. We’d already seen Alice Springs and the drive is long. And Kings Canyon resort couldn’t fit us in so we still haven’t been there.

But the desert continued to reveal its beauty on the drive back. We saw some distant kangaroos and one very confident dingo trotting along the side of the road, which kind of topped off the whole Central Australian experience. In fact, when it came to giving back the car at the rental office in the Alice, I felt quite sad – we’d seen a lot together that car and I.

It’s quite possible that you want to dismiss all of the preceding as the rantings of one of those travel bores who’ve had a great holiday. But please, you can call me anything you like if you just promise you’ll go to Uluru. I defy you to be disappointed.

-Philippa Burne

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Uluru & Ayers Rock tours, from Sounds of Silence Dinner to a Night Sky Show at the Ayers Rock Observatory to Ayers Rock helicopter tours. Also check out Viator’s 3-day tour from Uluru to Alice Springs via Kings Canyon.

Before it was discovered by a couple of kangaroos a few years back, there was little more than an empty can of Fosters up here and the occasional pandanus palm. Territorians have since made the mighty NT what it is through hard work and a lot of die-hard bragging. So, unlike some other Viator bloggers, I intend to give you a completely one-eyed account with limited reasoning on why the NT really is the best place in the world.

Cos basically, I feel for you, yes, deep down Jack really has a heart, and in my caring ways I figure why have people spend loads of time and money just to find out that other places aren’t as good when you can hear the truth – I’ll send you straight to the best places rather than this usual beat-around-the-bush style that has you just inhabiting the usual tourist haunts and hanging out with other tourists.

That’s right, my reputation is at stake here, so take it from a local.

Fishing, NT-style

Fishing

First up, one of the best things about the NT is that you can fish just about anywhere, as long as there is water nearby. And if you can’t fish, then you can buy fish in shop, but more about that one later.

As far as fishing goes, you’ve got vegetarian and non-vegetarian options – basically, do you want to be eaten by croc while you do it, or would you rather get home in one piece? Cos there’s plenty of options both ways - places like Shady Camp and the Mary River are great if you fancy a bit of a chomp while you’re dangling your lure. And if you do fancy a croc steak then why not make like a real local and put a side of beef on the hook on the end of your 4WD winch, chuck it in the river and then haul the bugger in when you get a bite. Easy. Just have something ready to cut the steel cable when the clever little bugger hauls you in… it happened before.

4WDs

Speaking of which, there’s only two kinds of vehicle in the NT – Troopie and Hilux – which makes shopping for a car easier, and they both come in white so that takes most of the hassle out already. A Hilux rolls easier than a Troopie, and you don’t have to listen to the kids when you chuck ‘em in the back cos it’s a ute and they can scream out in the tray.

But a Troopie - short for Troop Carrier by those mighty guys in-the-know, The Australian Army – is better for keeping the beer cold cos when you chuck it in the back its still inside and not stuck out in the blazing sun. They are also a good way of getting around anywhere, including a fast exit from a difficult car park, and ideal for getting to the shops and back. Especially on a Sunday.

Trees

As Germans would say, the NT is full of “the nature”, so as you’d expect there’s plenty of trees. In the bit up north, we Territorians call the Top End, the trees are often quite big due to their tropical nature. The leaves are broad and the coconuts are big, just like the mangoes, rambutans and my personal favourite, the black sapote. In the desert bits there’s trees too, and they are the best form of shade against the hot sun. The sun also rises and sets in the Territory, like no where else.

Corrugated Iron

Corrugated iron grows naturally in the NT, so why not see it in its native environment? It can grow to enormously long lengths where it forms fences, or the horizontal variety is great for roofs, which in themselves are also great for keeping out of the sun, but do present some problems with retaining the heat. But a cool beer can fix that.

Markets

For the uninitiated there are loads of markets on in the NT – more than just Mindil and Parap, and more than you stick a drunken poke at. If you fancy getting outta Darwin, there’s Coolalinga on Saturday mornings, one in Humpty Doo too, I think; Alice Springs has one once a month on Sundays; Katherine has one at least once a year, probably August round festival time, And in Darwin there’s a couple of other markets secreted around the place on Sundays… just grab your singlet, Thai fisherman’s pants, Crocs shoes and ask a local…

Space

One thing you get if there’s not so many people and lots of empty open areas is Space. Matter of fact it’s the NT’s biggest export. Hard to get across the border in your hand luggage, but if you’ve broken the law, your mind or just your bank balance, there’s plenty of Space to get out in until things sort themselves out.

Security

Breaking news, NT-style

It doesn’t matter if you go out and get drunk and lose your keys in the Top End, cos most of the houses don’t lock thanks to the unique louvre design that sees them cool in summer/Wet season, and breezy and possible to see if you’re neighbors are home or just shagging in the Dry season.

Simplicity

None of that complicated four seasons stuff up north – there’s just the Dry and the Wet season in the tropics. In the desert it’s either hot or not, and round Katherine it’s usually just time to get out of town all year round.

Food

Given that the NT is so close to South-East Asia there’s plenty of great tucker on offer, like Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Malaysian, Halal anything or just Singapore style noodles. So why not bugger all that fancy stuff and have barramundi and chips or a fried something-or-other instead. Too beaut.

Shops

One of the amazing things about the NT is that if you want to buy something, you can usually get it in a shop - as long as its for sale that is, and they have it in stock. T-shirts are popular, often bearing great slogans like “My other car is a beer esky” and “Where the hell is Noonamah?” are great ideas for the kids or family.

Beer cozies are another great thing they have in the Territory and if you want one, you just have to buy it, put it on your wrist and then take it off and wrap it around a cold beer when it gets to after 11am. And shops are a great place to find crocs after a flood too – just cast your mind back to the saltie they found in a meat-fridge in the Woolworths shopping centre in Katherine after the great floodwaters went down in the Australia Day 1988 floods when the Katherine River hit 21metres deep. Even the rivers are bigger up there (see fishing). Too right.

Beer

Now it just wouldn’t be cricket without that one syllable that stands alone as a word. Its’ well known that the average Territorian drinks a six-pack a day, and given the kids and not all of the women drink, then that’s a lot of extra help that some of the blokes are willing to put out.

NT invented beer, didn't you know?

Just the same as coffee was invented in Melbourne, beer was invented in the Territory, and in return it’s our gift to the world. That’s right soccer hooligans, teenage delinquency and unsociable behavior as well as friendliness toward strangers, sudden personal disclosures and bad breath all have the NT to thank for its innovation and foresight. Where would we be without it?

Hotter, thinner and thirstier that’s for sure.

If that isn’t reason alone enough for believing the NT is the greatest place in the world then you should probably go back and read this blog again after two or three and you’ll be one hundred precent bloody convincitated. No bloody worries about that.

-Jack Brown

Planning a trip? Browse all of Viator’s Darwin tours, things to do in Alice Springs, and tours in the Northern Territory.