Weird & Wonderful

Mitad del Mundo

To find the Earth’s equator is now pretty easy. You stand around where you think it is with your handy GPS and the gadget tells you where to go and when you’ve arrived. Back when the equator was first mapped, it was the 1700s, and no one thought to bring along their GPS.

The story of the equator (well, equators, but we’ll get to that in a minute) in Ecuador starts in the 1700s when the first geodesic expedition took place, the French Geodesic Mission, whose goal was to find and mark the equator. The equator passes through 14 countries. The ones on major land masses were sort of uninviting, or at least seemed like a hassle to the French (present day Uganda, Somalia, places like that). So they turned to South America, and specifically it seemed like a nice Spanish controlled territory (now Ecuador) was traveler friendly, a nice colonial city, Quito, was already built nearby. So they asked the King of Spain if it was cool for them to go equator hunting and he said sure, provided you take a long these two Spanish scientists to share in the glory. So they all set off in 1735.

They got to Quito, met up with an Ecuadorian scientist, and started measuring the curvature of the Earth around Quito. They stood on tall hills (there are many around Quito), they walked around a lot, they measured. Through some math that I cannot admit I fully understand, they came up with the location of the equator. And that spot is called Mitad del Mundo (Middle of the World in Spanish).

Kelly & Jacob on the equator

Ecuador’s Equator #1: French

Ecuador eventually became independent of Spain, and decided to commemorate the expedition and the equator, which they named their country after (yep, Ecuador is Spanish for equator), by erecting a monument. There’s a long walk up to the monument, the path flanked by big heads of all the scientists on the expedition.

The path culminates with a view of a stone building topped by a representation of the Earth (on its side for optimal equator viewing). Inside the stone building is an Ethnographic Museum, which houses some very worthwhile exhibits on the various cultures and peoples of Ecuador, both indigenous and not.

If you trek out to the Mitad del Mundo, I highly recommend a visit to the museum. And, of course, there’s a big line painted on the ground to represent the equator complete with compass markings.

The monument is great, there’s just one problem with it, its not actually on the equator. The French guys were good at math, but not perfect, they came in a mere 250 meters off.

Ecuador’s Equator #2: Actually at 0°0′0″ Lat.

Kelly & Jacob at actual equator

Located on the actual equator is the Inti Nan museum. Besides sitting atop the actual GPS calculated equator, the museum has hands on exhibits about indigenous Ecuadorian life (houses, food, stuff like that). The exhibits were interesting, but more interesting are the experiments you can participate in on the equator.

Try to walk the equator line straight with your eyes closed, its impossible, you feel like you’re falling. You can balance an egg on the head of a nail, gravity is straight down, so it becomes a much easier task. Watch the Coriolis effect in action as water spins down drains. All of it was fun in a sort of freaky and nerdy kind of way.

I highly recommend visiting at least one, if not both of the equators in Ecuador. I know it seems like a really touristy thing to do, but how often can you hop over a line and across a hemisphere?

– Kelly G

Following in the French Geodesic Mission’s footsteps and traveling to Ecuador? Browse Viator’s tours to Mitad del Mundo.

Ceci n’est pas Luke’s Mum

Editor’s Note: Luke posted this last year for his mum. We thought it nicely captures the spirit of Mother’s Day, so we are re-posting Luke’s original ode today in honor of moms (and mums) everywhere.

Fighting my way to Sydney airport on Easter Thursday evening — along with 20,000 other travellers, dropper-offers and picker-uppers — I wondered whether my mother would enjoy the activities I’d lined up for her over the next couple of days. At 78 she shows no sign of slowing down. And short of a parachute jump there’s not much she wouldn’t try. So here are three totally different things to do in Sydney with your mother, your friends, your lover - or just you.

“Luke, I am your father…”

If you were any higher in Sydney it would be illegal. Sydney Skywalk is purportedly twice the height of the Sydney Harbour Bridge but only a tenth of the effort since you get to the top by elevator. The staff work hard to make your Skywalk a real event and have their jokes - and facts - down pat. The ultimate joke was on me of course, for not even realizing the significance of having the name “Luke” on my “SkyWalker” certificate.

Once kitted out with our overalls and radios and associated ear pieces, beanies, parkas and clipped-on this and double-tied that, were we ready to go outside. Mark my words - even on a sunny day it can be cold and windy up there. In fact it was only when I caught Mum wiping her nose on the beanie (also tethered to her overalls) that I realized I should have smuggled a tissue up for her.

Needless to say, the views from that height are sensational. At almost 900 feet high the glass floor section isn’t for the squeamish but then, neither is my Mum’s beanie after she’s done with it. There’s the added kudos of everyone staring at you as you file through the indoor public spaces toward the lift. (Oh alright - call it showing off).

Ice, Ice baby.

If I carry my Star Wars theme through to our next stop, it would be to note the uncanny resemblance my Mother bears to Yoda once she’s decked out in a fur-trimmed hooded parka that’s two sizes too large. Sydney’s Minus5 Ice Bar is on the Italian-style promenade linking Circular Quay with the Opera House, so if you’re visiting Sydney, you’re bound to be in the area. In a grown-up Willy Wonka kinda’ way you can eat your cocktail glass since it’s made purely out of ice. Steer clear of slurping from the little waterfall because it’s actually anti-freeze. Reindeer skins on big ice thrones lend it a great “Norse God” feeling.

The sun shone, the sea sparkled, the prawns were in abundance.

Sydneysiders can be so damn smug about their harbour and it’s days like these that you understand why. With nothing to do but load your plate with oysters and prawns, settle back at your window side table (if you’re lucky) and watch the harbor slip past and enjoy views that you just won’t get from land. It’s still a working harbor so mega-ton freighters piled high with shiny new cars vie for space with two- man skiffs and luxury yachts.

We joined the Sydney Harbour Magistic lunch cruise at King Street wharf; you can have a good wander around Cockle bay and the nearby Darling Harbour tourist precinct before or after your cruise. You can also join or leave the boat at Circular Quay, and now you know where Minus5 Ice Bar is, too. My secret tip? The little deck in front of the buffet was empty while everyone was chowing down so stake a table and toss a coin for who goes to the bar for the second glass of chardonnay.

The verdict’s in - Mum just called. Her flight’s landed and she’s home safely, tired but happy. I hope she didn’t really put a glass from the Ice Bar in her bag…

–Luke Crosthwaite

Browse Viator’s complete list of Sydney tours and things to do, Melbourne tours, and more things to do in Australia.

I sign up for a tour of Berlin’s underground bunkers and subways with Berliner Unterwelten, the society for exploration and documentation of subterranean architecture, who have opened up this underworld to the public since 1997.

I make my way to the meeting point in Berlin, at Gesundbrunnen, feeling a slight degree of trepidation. The Cold War is a mystery to me, as is most of modern history. I was a little worried that the tour would be more for the boffins and military enthusiasts than someone like myself. I was happily proven wrong.

Berlin Underground: Going Down

Going underground, stepping back in time

We all follow obediently as our excellent tour guide leads us briskly across the square, over the road, and into the entrance of a park, before heading through a door in a small brick building, with, ironically enough, a Holiday Inn sign perched on the roof.

Once inside, we have an introduction to the place, with general information about when the bunkers were built, and how they were used in the Second World War, and then re-fitted a nuclear shelter during the Cold War. The historical overview takes us from the 1943 Tehran Conference to the dividing of Berlin into American, British, French and Soviet sectors at the close of World War II, to the 1948-49 Berlin Blockade. I learn about the non-socialisation rule of West Berlin, where a soldier could be fined or court martialled for fraternising with the German community or — heaven forbid — falling in love with a local girl. (Any social and political system that keeps people on different sides and prevents us from seeing each other as human beings, and acting with compassion is, I guess what keeps the theatres of war in operation.)

The Berlin Underground tour office

We hear about the preparations made for civilians to take shelter in the event of a Third World War, and how the impact of a nuclear attack would devastate the city. It is a sombre and terrifying prospect, although something that is timely to reflect on in this nuclear age. As I travel and meet people from different cultures and backgrounds, I am continually struck by our common desires to find community, connection and a sustainable future together on this beautiful planet. It’s good to be reminded of the history underneath this remarkable city, which is constantly regenerating itself, and to appreciate the peace and freedom that most of us take for granted.

What does one eat, living in a bunker?

One of the details that intrigues me are the supplies kept in the bunker: boxes containing hundreds of thousands of items, toiletries, shaving brushes, medical kits and canned food, including oranges, “herrings in tomato sauce” and sardines from Portugal. This glimpse into the preparations for survival provides a fascinating insight into life at the time, and also tells a story of racketeering and greed, which you will have to take the tour to find out more about!

Moving deeper into the tunnels, we pass a grated opening that looks down onto the train line, and stories from our guide that give an indication of the desperate measures people were prepared to take in order to try and reach the democratic West. There is the darkly humourous sign indicating friend (Communists) and enemy (evil Capitalists) posted at the entrance to the ghost stations (subway stops that in East Berlin were sealed and closed-off), offering a slim hope of escape as West Berlin trains ran through them.

There is a chilling tale of the sewers, and gruesome details about the measures that the Soviet authorities were prepared to go to in order to secure the underground borders. This is best left to the tour guide to tell, as the location also helps create an echo of the atmosphere where these events took place, and gives a sense of the complete control over the population, which is of course the least appealing aspect of any totalitarian state.

Not all the walls came down in 1989

I am fascinated to learn that after the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, the removal of the underground borders takes almost another 10 years. Living in contemporary Berlin as part of the international community, it is easy to forget just how present and immediate this history is for the people who grew up here. Berlin is a city that is constantly changing and reinventing itself, however the marks of history are deeply scored into the architecture and pysche of the city, and are still visible in the underworld.

Scene from a horror movie? Nope, just a seedy part of Berlin’s history

Taking a short underground ride to the next station, we have the fabulously bizarre experience of entering one of those anonymous doors you see along the railway corridors. The entire U-Bahn station of Pankstrasse was designed as a nuclear shelter in the 1980s, and can be hermetically sealed, with enough room for around 1,500 people to survive the blast and a few weeks afterwards.

We have a taste of the simulated “catastrophe rehearsal”, with an introduction to the decontamination chamber (and the bright blue-and-yellow tracksuits which were the only clothes allowed inside), then a look at one of the medical rooms.

There is a slightly seedy aspect to the recent past of this facility, however there was no time to go deeper into the complex, although another tour explores this one in far more detail.

During construction of new buildings, the engineers often dug very deep into the soil of Berlin, and the subway system is only a part of its subterranean architecture. Many other objects are to be found in Berlin’s sandy underground. Cemeteries, secret air-raid shelters, sewers and even an aircraft factory were built under the surface of the city. A lot of these structures still exist nowadays.

Birth of the Berlin Underworld

In the autumn of 1997, a few enthusiasts got together in order to explore this subterranean world. The organization they founded, the Berliner Unterwelten (Berlin Underworlds Association), locates and documents such hidden installations, making some of them accessible to the public. And it uses these sites for cultural purposes (such as exhibitions, theatre performances and concerts). The organization has already discovered numerous forgotten subterranean structures – but many other secrets are still to be discovered down there.

I am left with a sense of sadness, for the effects of war on humanity, and respect for the courage and dignity which people of all backgrounds show in the most extreme circumstances. It was a relief to return to the sunshine and light of the outside world, not having had to spend days or weeks inside a bunker for survival, and gave me a much deeper understanding of the events and history of this extraordinary city.

–Jodi Rose

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s list of things to do in Berlin, including Berlin walking tours and the Underground Berlin: Subways, Bunkers and the Cold War tour that Jodi reviews in this post.

Here’s a recipe for adventure: a long weekend visit to family in Nakon Patom, Thailand.

Naturally nobody has a map, but the general instructions seem to be, “head west to the big road, then head south; turn right just before you hit Bangkok“. Uh-huh. Great instructions to cover a 900km trip!

Thai Group Consciousness (TGC) - it’s for real!

So it’s 4am, off we set westerly into the darkness. Sure enough after an hour or two we hit “the big road,” and duly turn south. A few more hours, and the dreaded murmur begins to make its way around the car: “shortcut!”. Everyone’s getting restless, so it’s time for a Thai Shortcut. “Turn right,” go the instructions, so off I turn, away from “the big road” heading east.

Naturally, no-one’s taking personal responsibility, but the on-board Thai Group Consciousness (see below) is giving instructions: ‘right’, ‘left’, ‘right’, ‘right’; with the roads slowly getting smaller each time. I’m getting a wee bit (!) frustrated, as I don’t fancy doing a 900km trip via village back-streets, and would really like to arrive before the week is out. “Relax,” says Ann, “people know where they’re going”.

Sure enough, half an hour later, we end up in the carpark of some forlorn temple, in the middle of nowhere. “Maybe we should ask for directions,” I suggest.

So we consult the guard, and ask him how we get to Nakon Patom. And he tells us “sure, turn left, right, left and left, get on the big road, head south a few hundred kilometers, turn right just before you hit Bangkok”

The next day everyone chipped in and bought me a map.

————————————————————————————

Thoughts About Thai Group Consciousness (let’s call it TGC)

It’s a strange thing, and none of the other farangs (Westerners) here can explain it either, but Thailand seems to operate on a different plane of consciousness. Firstly, no-one can ever make an individual decision. Any decision is always given to the group (there’s always a group), and collectively, after much sitting around, arm-waving, pointing in odd directions, the ‘group’ collectively arrives at its decision, with no-one accountable for blame.

Secondly, the TGC has brilliant long-range communication. Case in point: last year David (who’s English) and Noi, friends of ours, decided to visit my wife’s mum to collect some chickens. They live about 120km away, and had never been to her place. So they set off with vague instructions, and about half way there they decide they’d better bring a gift. So soon they pass a plant nursery, and pull in to buy a pot-plant for Ann’s mum. Meanwhile, Ann’s mum has become worried that maybe they might get lost, so decides to get in contact with them. But she doesn’t know their mobile number.

So David’s standing in the nursery, somewhere between his place and Ann’s, when the owner of the nursery approaches him with the office telephone. “It’s for you” he says, handing the phone to David…

–Jordan Digby

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s things to do in Thailand, Bangkok tours and activities in Phuket.

What with all this talk about Las Vegas and deserts on these pages, I thought I shouldn’t be outdone and have decided to weigh in with my a bit of Outback kiss and tell — casino style, mind you. The only other casino in the desert that I’ve ever seen — well, the only other one since when I married my third wife on that shaky morning in Las Vegas before the only transvestite Elvis impersonator we could find at 3am on a Sunday — is the Lasseters Hotel Casino in none other than sunny Alice Springs.

No fear & loathing here, mate

Lasseter himself was a mad enough wanderer of the desert as he was, never known to impersonate Elvis, but to name a casino after him is bordering on a whole new kind of madness. Rumour has it that the sun-parched and heat-fatigued explorer happened upon a reef of purest gold out there in the Central Desert one fine day, only problem was he forgot exactly which cave he found it in. To this day hapless explorer-types and prospectors tarry for nought out there to repeat his lucky find. Suffice to say that not even his descendants have managed to repeat his trick, wherever it may be.

Which is not to say that you couldn’t manage some luck of your own in his namesake casino out on the lower east side of Alice Springs down near the Heavitree Gap. It’s a modern complex so there’s not space to tether your camel out front, but as with every casino the carpet is sure to entertain you enough should the free-running of your camel on the forecourt prove an inconvenience.

Like Lasseter, too, weary from the sun and deranged by the heat, you can wander in from the desert’s red sands to a windowless interior which knows not Time’s name, where you can while away the hours and perhaps enjoy that other benefit of a small town – running into similarly bereft fellow small-towners enjoying a run of luck, or more likely down on their’s too. Feel free to drown your sorrows at the bar with these surprise cameo travellers, but like all drinkers you’ll soon find that sorrows can swim too.

The high-roller bar is where the action’s at, and that’s not so much if you’re up for a gamble but more for a stylin’ night out. With enough glass surfaces and electric lighting to rival Koyaanisqatsi for over-awing surroundings (not to mention leather lounges too!) this little patch of paradise will have you reaching for the Cocktail List and ready to kick back and regale yourself with stories of how the outback was won and lost all in an afternoon. Some years ago we passed a happy eve in this place, dressed in our finest three piece suits to celebrate a fellow small-towner’s birthday, only the dreadlocks of my mate belying our true roots. Word got around and some weeks later I found out from an opportunity–shop friendly mate that worked at Lasseters, that the staff mistook us for over-paid drug dealers on a night out. And who’s to argue with that?

Midnight Oil, the former legendary superstars of Oz-Rock, once played on the lawns before the Alice Casino to celebrate its 21st Birthday – a gift from the Lasseter people to the town itself. Everybody turned out and a mighty time was had. The man that now calls himself the Australian Government’s Minister for the Environment (Peter Garrett) flung himself around on the stage for one of the last times before the band disbanded. A ripper time was had by one and all which goes to show the Outback’s not without its culture, and after the bash we all headed inside to have a gambol.

Tether your camel out front, then hit the slots

At the other end of the Territory there’s a Casino too — Sky City — and if you line the palm trees up just right as you walk up to its neon lit doors you could almost swear the letters they block could leave it spelling “Scarcity”. Like all great venues that are happy to accept all manner of clientele, as long as you can stand – you can come in. If you stagger a little then they’ll probably help you stand straight to get in the doors, long as you don’t blaspheme or spit.

Located right next to the famous Mindil Beach Markets, one of the northern shores’ biggest weekly markets with all things tropical and great food t’boot, Sky City is more than just a casino. In the dry season - which looking out at the clear horizon and lack of thunderclouds and cyclones means its starting just about now – the casino hosts some of the finest national and even international jazz out the back on a stage that makes Band Aid and Live8 look like they were just pub gigs. Just another reason to pull out that suit and make like a rich person again, drink a little plonk and get all Ocean’s Eleven out on the lawns with a little sunset and smooth tunes on the side. You, too, can lead the highlife just in time to get home for a barbeque and kangaroo steak and a coupla tropical strength beers.

–Jack Brown

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Alice Springs tours, things to do in the Australian Outback and — if you’re ready for a 3am Elvis wedding — Las Vegas tours, baby!

I had to laugh when I saw this tongue-in-cheek ad campaign for Sydney, the result of another magazine-sponsored attempt to promote the war between cities that never seems to stop. Why is that? Why do cities have to battle each other over which is the “most livable,” “most cosmopolitan” or, even more ridiculous, the “best.”

Mate, I like ‘em all!

For all the same reasons life wouldn’t be much fun if we all looked alike, dressed alike, thought alike or spoke the same way, it’s just really, really good that the world’s major cities are so incredibly un-alike. I hate leaving Sydney and my beloved Bondi Beach, but walking down Piccadilly and through Green Park isn’t too shabby an experience either, and it’s certainly not one you’ll find in Sydney.

That got me to thinking: what are the things I like to do as soon as I arrive in one of these cities, the things that make me glad I’m there? So I made a list.

Ode to the World’s Great Cities

In San Francisco I wait until the weekend (Sunday is best because there’s less traffic) and drive to Treasure Island just before sundown. San Francisco’s skyline is like nothing else; lots of hills, lots of white, tons of quirky buildings and monuments, two big, bold bridges, a huge bay, Alcatraz… there’s a lot to see and it’s all very definitely San Francisco, you couldn’t for a minute confuse it with anywhere else. I see this view in front of an invariably orange sunset and I feel good about being there; that’s a good thing.

London is for walking. Straight out the hotel door, left, right it doesn’t really matter. I keep my eyes open for a park, grab a newspaper — what other city has so many quality daily papers on offer? — and sit myself down on a bench to consume the day’s news. Then on in search of a new pub: with any luck there’ll be a football game on and a partisan crowd to watch it with. Not being a beer drinker is a bit of an impediment, but wine and spirits have the same effect. How many great parks and pubs are there in London? I don’t know, I’m still counting…

Paris is all about watching. Don’t feel guilty: French women — and men too, for that matter — would be annoyed if you didn’t notice how sexy they look in their new Christian Lacroix outfit, their favourite leather jacket, or whatever. They dressed up for you, don’t you get it? So right after unpacking I find a comfortable chair at a cafe on a busy boulevard, pretend to make important phone calls, glance occasionally at the Herald Tribune crossword… and watch the world of Paris go by. Give it a try, and for goodness sake don’t feel bad about it.

Bangkok is for the food. I talked to a couple from New Zealand just the other day, they’d been in Bangkok five days already and admitted they’d had all their meals at the hotel, “it just seemed safest.” OK, if that’s your attitude then maybe this isn’t the city for you. There’s about a zillion street vendors in Bangkok, selling the widest and wildest variety of food and drink you can imagine, so that’s my immersion technique as soon as I land. I’ve even been known to have the cab driver stop before I get to the hotel if I happen to see a vendor doing those little roti-style sweets with egg and carnation milk, rolled up like a crepe. Strike me pink, as my Dad used to say, they’re delicious. Anyway, after one of those I know I’m in Bangkok…

I like visiting Melbourne in winter best of all. That’s because I can go straight from the airport to the football. I mean Australian Rules Football, the real game — maybe that’s not an argument we want to have here — but suffice to say there’s nothing quite like being in a crowd of 80,000 at the MCG, watching Collingwood battle it out with one of their traditional enemies. I know exactly where I am when I hear that roar of “Ball!” go up from 50,000 of our fans — Collingwood supporters are always in the majority — and frankly it doesn’t really matter whether we win or lose, it’s just so Melbourne, so perfect, so unique an experience. Visiting in summer? The cricket works pretty well too…

I find myself in New York a couple of times each year. I don’t mind what season it is, because I know how to connect right away: grab the Times or the New Yorker and check the entertainment listings. Doesn’t matter what month it is, there’s always two or three acts in town that I don’t even have to think twice about wanting to see. And if they’re sold out, it doesn’t matter, just head down to the lower east side and randomise! Any act that’s good enough to get a gig in New York City is worth seeing; there’s tons of great venues, the crowds are always interesting, and if you don’t like the headliner you’ll probably die for the support act. Never fails me…

Got some favourite things to do in favourite cities, the ones you visit all the time and love coming back to? Hit that comments button, OK?

–Rod Cuthbert

It’d been a week of bad weather coming up to the Amsterdam Red Light District walking tour, making it feel like the place was kinda living up to its name. Old Man Horizontal Snow, Captain Sleet and Unfeasibly Strong and Bloody Cold Wind with Grey Skies (didn’t get his first name) had all been round and over stayed any welcome they might have had in this town, so that when the night of the walk through Amsterdam’s Red Light District finally came by, the sky was at least clear enough to make out the Red Lights in question.

Amsterdam’s Red Light District - Jack Takes a Tour

Red light, apparently, smooths out your skin with its invisible Super Rays, making you look 10 years younger and your booty hotter, too, I’ll bet. Now, you’ve probably all been imagining Old Jack as a six-foot man with wisdom etched into his Outback-hardened features. And so he could probably do with a little red light to make him look younger. Well, as I climbed atop my standard Amsterdam-issue bicycle (the straight black frame, bent handlebars and the standard upright posture) that had been built for someone at least a foot taller than me, I found myself wishing for some way to stop the giggles of pedestrians, as not even a little red light could cover up the tippy-toes riding posture and my helplessly aged booty stuck high in the air. I’ll put dignity on next month’s shopping list.

But enough about me getting my leg over on the high bike seat, I reckon what you all want is to hear about the laydeez…

Jack’s Amsterdam Red Light District Tour

The red light district in Amsterdam is just next to the Centraal Station, and the streets nearby are full of tourists that couldn’t tell a bike path from the road to hell – they’re the ones standing grinning in front of you, once you’ve brought your bike to an abrupt halt. They’re the same ones filling the “coffeeshops”, slowly driving their heads into their navels on the local’s “greenery” that comes in menu-filling flavours over here.

Overall though, Amsterdam ain’t so full of non-locals, what with the thousand flavours of English spokjen over here, and given that this is the centre of town you’d probably expect to be tripping over someone in the thick of the action, but there’s still space enough.

Amsterdam’s Red Light District

Departing from the tourist pickup point on the Damrak, our little loving posse led by local guide [her name removed, to protect the not-so-innocent], we wandered across the road where the lanes got narrower and the alleys more alley-like. Starting at the Prostitution Information Centre (PIC), we were given an overview of what goes on and has gone on over the years with the hustling and bustling of the neighbourhood. And some questions bantered about to answers by the former sex worker, now one of many working at the PIC (you have to have worked in the area before working in the Centre, which provides free help to workers in Amsterdam since 1994).

And then out on the street, the tour proper begins – with a little “window shopping” as it, er, would be… In this area in Amsterdam, one of three red light districts we are told, but by far the most visible being in the old town centre, there are 200 windows (of the 400 in Amsterdam). In these windows, after joining the waiting list to get a spot, is a strange little slice of life – the window itself, more a glass fronted doorway, with the talent standing ready for your order, and behind the bed all a-ready and waiting to go. Get her attention, should this be your port of call in your personal storm, fix a price, pull the curtains and get to work, or not as you wish, as the clock starts on your 20 minutes. Simple as that. Back out the door and back on the streets you’ll be feeling like a new man, or if that’s what you want, that can be organised for a price, too.

Sex? Oh sure. Me? No thanks.

Over a beer at a pub back home one day, a mate characterised the Dutch approach to drugs pretty simply – “Drugs? Oh sure. Me? No, thanks.” That’s liberal with the small “L” and an open-minded culture to boot.

Same goes for the “oldest professional,” which in Holland is respected and the workers’ rights protected. As our guide tells us between bouts of “we (Dutch) think this is all OK” (which I’m not one to argue either way), she mentions that the profession is OK for many except if it’s your wife, or mother, or sister, or workmate.

Kinda same difference really. So it’s probably no big surprise either, that rather than be a big eye-opener, it’s sometimes, well, a bit odd. Strangely, during the tour, I kinda felt like making the two worlds meet and grab a pre-roll of the green stuff on our way past a coffeeshop to make sure the stroll had a bit more of that surreal edge. But, for you, my dear readers, despite my New World yearnings, I stayed alert and sober to spot the unmissable and see with eyes wide open rather than ajar like a letterbox. Perhaps it would have made the minute down the single-file row of windows later in the tour that bit more confronting as the laydeez did their dance in white knickers and teeth under the UV bulbs and red lights…

The church that stands smack in the middle of the district, Amsterdam’s first, is a strange testament to the separation between sacred and profane that saw the oldest profession start up in the first place all those years ago – the church’s taboo finding a way to bring a price on the street. In its 700 years, Amsterdam has grown from its maritime beginnings, the old town centre now forming part of the Red Light District, being the site of the old dyke wall that held back the sea and marked the beginnings of the new land. The sailors would spill off the ships and into the impromptu shops where anything that had been missing those last few months at sea could be set for a price. The statue built by the PIC out front of the Old Church has a woman standing in a doorway, just as those ready for what the sea blew in back in the day.

Change the oil, rotate those tires

Rather than tell you all the juicy bits and recount the hollers of the strapping young American lads as they caught men coming out of what they called “the wrong doorway, dude”, it’s probably best if you see it for yourself. I’ve never been one for Kings Cross, back in old Sydney-town – but this place luckily lacks that down-on-your-luck atmosphere that rumples its way through those back-alleys in Kings X. There’s a strange “nothing to hide here” attitude pervading the district by the Damrak that makes it all a transparent – maybe leaves you wondering what other people are walking through there for, and maybe you, too?

So, I’ll leave you with a thought – some comparative economics if you like. I just sold my car, the one with the penchant for losing wheels at high speed I mentioned a while back. Well, in Australia it’s about $80 for a basic service. In Holland, you can get your car the same basic service for 60 euros, which is a little more once you do the exchange rate at its best. But as we learnt at the Prostitution Information Service at the beginning of the tour, a basic service in the Red Light District will just set you back 30 to 50 euros, which for a personal lube and oil change could well be the best value you’ll get without having to give some stranger your car keys.

–Jack Brown

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Amsterdam tours & things to do, from Red Light District walking tours to Keukenhof Gardens tours to Amsterdam canal cruises.

Editor’s Note: Let’s all of us hope the 2008 Olympic games in Beijing aren’t canceled due to the recent unrest in Hikinboot. We’re keeping a close eye on the developing story.

At Viator, our mission is to help you make the most of your travels. We believe passionately in discovering new cultures, trying new experiences, and getting beneath the surface of a destination.

In that spirit Viator is pleased to announce the launch of a new country on our website: the Republic of Bakpakhistan. Our team of travel experts has tried for three years to crack open the Bakpakhi tours and activities market. It’s not been easy. The Republic of Bakpakhistan has had a rough go of it; first there was the collapse of its patron, the Soviet Union. Then after a brief flurry of activity in 2001, the country literally — quite literally — disappeared from the map.

Haggling over US$0.0001 at the rug market © Lonely Planet

Now, after seven years of isolation and closed borders, the country is re-opening to tourism. The capital, Hikinboot, has started the slow process of rebuilding and repopulating.

“Dubbed by detractors and admirers alike as the ‘Paris of the Central Urgs’, Hikinboot is an oasis of unbreathable air and inedible food. Bakpakhistan may be the ‘forgotten Stan’, but Hikinboot is a vital stopping-off point on any journey around the country - in fact it’s the only stopping-off point, as the sprinkling of land mines, ageing nuclear reactors, viciously hungry guerrillas, and marauding groups of gun-wielding Soviet soldiers who’ve refused to come in from the cold conspire to make travel outside the capital an impossibility. Travel to and from Hikinboot’s airport will be the sum total of road travel you’re likely to undertake.

–Lonely Planet World Guide: Destination Bakpakhistan

Bakpakhistan: Planning Your Trip

So exactly where is Bakpakhistan? What can you expect from a visit there? When to go? What to see & do? These are all great questions. And we have answers.

“Bakpakhistan is bordered by Tajikistan to the north, Uzbekistan to the northwest, Turkmenistan to the west, Afghanistan to the south, Pakistan to the southeast and India to the east. Bakpakhistan is ringed by mountains, creating a mostly dry, arid, windswept microclimate. There is little fresh water, as most major streams from the mountains flow down the other side into neighbouring countries. The one exception, the Guz River, kept the cooling towers cool back in Soviet times. Now, it’s best not spoken about.”

“Bakpakhistan’s only real event is the annual grain festival, the Bakbakbakstöp Harvest Festival. The event, celebrating the nation’s only successful harvest (1867), takes place in the first three weeks of June. A country already pretty much stationary grinds to a total stop, as every town hosts a parade featuring residents wearing traditional three-cornered hats. It’s also the only time of the year when children are allowed to play the traditional game of stïc bol, played with a stïc (a type of stick) and a bol (a round ball).”

–Lonely Planet World Guide: Destination Bakpakhistan

Viator.com is a proud sponsor of the 2008 Bakbakbakstöp Harvest Festival. As part of the festivities, we’ve partnered with Education Minister Snagult Ufqunt to create a crash-course of local tours to help visitors make the most of a holiday in Bakpakhistan.

Semi-traditional non-nomadic Bakpakhistani dwelling © Lonely Planet

Bakpakhistan: Full Day Foraging Tour

From BK3.7 million / US$1.50 per person
Spend a full day discovering Bakpakhistan’s hottest forgaging spots. You’ll learn about the secret spot near the abandoned overpass, the one by the smelly part of the river and more of Bakpakhistan’s best kept foraging secrets form locals who know. Also, you’ll stop off at the market of Gagin Mawnkoont for shopping and gawking at its famous mutations. You’re probably going to need to forage for food, or makeshift transport to leave the country at some point anyway, so this tour is a MUST.

Hikinboot Day Tour*

From BK2.1 million / US$0.99 per person
Visit the ‘Paris of the Central Urgs’! Dodge land mines, guerrillas, nuclear meltdowns and more as you spend a day getting to know this exciting city. This exclusive Viator tour includes:

• Statue of Stalin
• The remains of Proletariat House
• Admission to the carpet museum
• Lunch at Crazy Abdull’s (no vegetarian option)
• A souvenir land mine

Bakpakhi Cultural Half Day Tour, with Clicking Fingers Demonstration

From BK123 million / US$5 per person
Bakpakhistan is renowned for its crafts and carpets, not to mention its folk music. And the rumors are true: Paul Simon has agreed to make a album (produced by Peter Gabriel, featuring Sting and Bono) based on the Bakpakhici art of clicking fingers and tongues while simultaneously slapping a raw cod on the side of a leather boot. This exclusive tour includes a walk through the Hikinboot carpet museum and concludes with a live performance by the Bakpakhi Five Mega-Minstrels at the Bollixinski soccer stadium. Prime Minister Slotcar Nascar will perform a stïc bol demonstration between cod slaps.

Guz River Experience

From BK99 / US$0.00000002 per person
Spend a few hours on what used to be the Guz River. The river was actually concreted over in 1992 and is now the Hivk Highway. Your guide will take you along the highway in a boat converted into a landmobile. You will have the opportunity to view all the sites that were enjoyed from the river before 1992. If you are lucky some of the concrete will be cracked enough in sections along the highway allowing a glimpse of the sludge. You will want your cameras ready when you pass Bakpakhistan woman carrying 30 litres (8 gallons) of water on their heads just to give their children something to drink. The highlight of the tour is when you stop at former fisherman’s shack and get to view all his mutated and preserved marine animals from the good old days when the river was a cesspool of toxic chemicals.

Pricing on request
Your journey begins with a stop in historic Baghpakh, continuing on to the Bakdur Brothel and Cybercafe for a brief photo opportunity. Then it’s off along the Hvik Highway in a yak cart to experience the incredible beauty of the King Tuj mountains, framed against the towering Timtamistan Cliffs. The Timtamistan Arnottonomous Zone is the most ethnically diverse - and dangerous - region in Bakpakhistan. Local tribes have inhabited these badlands for generations and will not hesitate to dunk your biscuit. Notable tribes include the Timtamoriginal clan, the Order of the Timtamchewykarmelites, Timtamdoublecoats, Timtamdarkks, Timtamlövepötiöns, Timtam-chocölatemudders, Timtamstickyvanillatöffees and the vicious tribe of the Timtam Lattes. On the crest of the Timtamistan Cliffs, you will board a thinly disguised UN aid helicopter for a once-in-a-lifetime, 7 minute, 4,000-foot descent to the mighty Guz River below. At the river’s edge, you’ll board a pontoon boat for a relaxing boat ride down toxic Guz tributaries. Float across the water grasping the inner majesty and mystery of this fabulous chasm. Don’t forget your camera!Happy travels. Or as they say in Bakpashti, Vlassplosspissinskaya!

–The Viator Travel Team

* Viator and the local tour operator are not responsible for death, injury, or other harm sustained on this tour. Undertake at your own risk. In fact, maybe just pick something else, we hear the foraging tour is nice, and practical too.

Related Viator Travel Blog Posts:

• Google launches gDay with MATE
• Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
  
• Explosive New England Maple Trees
• UN to shut down the Internet

A few months ago I stumbled upon the Budget Travel Supermarket Souvenir article, with its quirky mix of items you can buy in foreign supermarkets. Pig-liver patee in handy “to go” portions, grilled shrimp and pepper flavored Pringles, that sort of thing. There’s a good slideshow if you’re interested.

I appreciate supermarket shenanigans as much as the next person. But the article left me a little hungry for more (pun only partially intended). The concept is great — travel souvenirs and mementos from foreign lands — but why limit it to foreign supermarkets?

No, let’s go big here. Let’s open this concept up to any and all travel shwag. I’m hungry for a list of the world’s most quirky, oddest, funniest (both strange & ha ha) and downright weird travel mementos. Did you bring home a shrunken head? A jar of pickled feet? A felt painting of Jesus driving a monster truck?

Don’t be shy. You are not alone in your appreciation of weird & wonderful travel souvenirs. I’ve added a few of my personal favorites, but please send us yours! Simply email your photo (jpeg preferably) with a short explanation at feedback@viator.com and we will add the best ones to the list below.

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: It’s Unbelizeable

When I was 22 years old I went to Romania to write a travel guide for other 22-year-olds. Strangely enough, nobody was interested in Romania at the time, especially not the 22 year olds. My mom felt bad, so she bought me an “I Luv Romania” T-shirt. The shirt makes me laugh about a difficult time in my life (you go spend 8 weeks in post-revolution Romania and tell me how you like it). To this day I still know how to say, in Romanian, “No! I do not like pork liver.”

At the other end of the emotional spectrum is my shirt from Belize. It says “You Better Belize It!” Which pretty much sums up the wonderfulness that is Belize (read about the wonderfulness here).

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: Monkey Madness

I ran out of toothpaste once when I was in Kenya. After much fruitless searching I was informed that in Kenya it’s more common to use tooth powder. Fair enough. So I picked up this — tub? jar? bottle? — of Monkey Brand Black Tooth Powder, imported from India. No, it did not turn my teeth black. Yes, I was worried about that.

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: Allahu Akbar

I bought this mosque clock after taking a trip to Istanbul (read about that trip here), where I became completely enamored with the call to prayer. This clock is perhaps the best travel souvenir I have ever purchased. Every time the alarm goes off I think fondly back on my time in Istanbul and Turkey. If you’re curious to experience the clock’s call-to-prayer alarm firsthand, click here (warning - this is loud).

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: Hutt River Freestate

This T-shirt is from the largely unrecognised Principality of the Hutt River Province, which ’seceded’ from Australia in 1970. It’s located in Western Australia, about 5 hours from absolutely nowhere. Prince Leonard and Princess Shirley run a gift shop, as well as guided tours most days. The photo was submitted by John Ryan, author of a superb book on Micronations.

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: The Red Detachment of Women

Another entry from John, this time of a female soldier-ballerina statuette with a pistol, from the balllet The Red Detachment of Women. It was a Cultural Revolution favourite in Mao’s China. Richard Nixon saw it in ‘72 and it’s still performed on high rotation. The statue is just over a foot high and was purchased at a market in Beijing in 1998.

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: Singapore Surrender Monkeys

Another one from John Ryan, who says: “This is a tiny little souvenir fan I picked up in a gift shop on Sentosa in Singapore in 2000. Friends have looked but not seen these since - I wonder if they’re still on sale? Only 7cm (or just under 3 inches) wide, the fan depicts the Fall of Singapore to the Japanese in World War II, with British soldiers signing the surrender papers. Ahhh, the memories!”

Do you have a travel souvenir you’d like to share? If so simply email your photo (jpeg preferably) with a short explanation to feedback@viator.com. We’ll add the best travel shwag to this list.

–Scott McNeely

At Viator we’re constantly searching for new ways to experience destinations like a traveler, not just a tourist. Which is why we are pleased to offer the ground breaking, cutting edge, and profoundly yellow GPS-guided Storytelling GoCars for city touring over on the Viator website.

Huh? What’s that? What in the world are we talking about???

GPS GoCars in San Francisco

Let’s start at the beginning. Once upon time a man named Nathan Withrington (along with his business partner Alasdair Clements) had a vision. What if visitors to a city could drive around in miniature cars with the latest GPS (Global Positioning Satellite) technology, with an audio tour that was “smart” like a local? Their idea was to allow visitors to leave their guidebooks behind and instead discover a city with clever talking cars that navigate and narrate as you drive. An on-board computer and a GPS-system do the thinking so travelers can sit back and explore the destination from a completely personalized perspective.

Fast-forward to 2004, and Nathan and Alasdair offer the first-ever GoCar GPS car rentals in San Francisco and San Diego. Since then their idea has really taken off. If you live on San Francisco or San Diego, you’ve probably seen these bright-yellow minicars navigating the streets, going places that most tourists never go.

We recently caught up with Nathan and asked him a few question about tourism, GPS technology and the growing popularity of GPS GoCars.

GPS GoCars: Interview with Nathan Withrington

Viator: So Nathan, what exactly is a GoCar?

Nathan: The GoCar is a new concept in tourism. We were the first company in the world that, through GPS technology, empowered sightseers to take themselves on a guided tour. Our little cars have a personality and are you tour guide. As you drive, they navigate like a traditional GPS, but that is not all. They will crack jokes with you, recommend restaurants and tell you the stories that bring the city to life. As you drive, the car give you options of places to go and things to see. The more options you take, the longer your tour. So for the first time in history, they can not only take themselves on a guided tour, they can choose when they leave, how long they go for, where they go, when to stop and the language the tour is given in.

Viator: I live in San Francisco, and I’ve been seeing more of these GPS-enabled cars on the streets. It sounds like your idea has really caught hold and taken off.

Nathan: It all started a few weeks after we opened our doors for business. The San Francisco Chronicle wrote a full-page article on us and put it on the front page of their technology section. Before you know it, Time magazine nominated us for “one of the most amazing inventions of the year.” From that point the press has just not stopped, from Today show, Travel Channel, BBC, New York Times, USA Today… and it just keeps coming.

Viator: OK, be straight with me here. Are GoCars safe? Has anybody ever driven one into the bay?

Nathan: Occasionally, some people are intimidated by the vehicle’s small size and the fact that they are driving on city streets. The vehicles are registered as mopeds but the fact that you have three wheels, not two, makes them much more stable. Thankfully to date, with over 65,000 happy customers, we have not had any serious incidents. We take safety very seriously and make sure everyone that drives a GoCar is given a thorough safety briefing on how to operate the vehicle. With regards to driving one in to the bay, you never know, maybe we will come out with an amphibious GoCar one day!

Viator: Do you need a special license? Special training?

Nathan: All you need is a standard drivers license. The vehicles are operated 100% with hand controls very similar to a bicycle. They are fully automatic, so there is no clutch or gears to worry about. After the safety briefing, most people take to it like a duck to water. The GPS will keep people of the busy streets for the most part and will even warn you when you are entering areas where you need to be cautious.

Viator: I’ve heard the GoCar audio tours as people drive by my house. Do you offer custom voices? Can I select John Wayne to give me a tour of SF?

Yes, that really is Conan O’Brien next to a GPS GoCar in San Francisco

Nathan: We do offer custom themes. My favorite is the “MisterSF tour,” written and narrated by Mister San Francisco (of MisterSF.com) himself. This is a great tour for people that think they already know San Francisco. It does not take you to the obvious places like the Golden Gate Bridge and Lombard St, but rather it shows you the more notorious side of San Francisco, such as where a serial killer lived, where notorious murders happened and buildings that were destroyed in the 1989 earthquake.

Viator: Who’s the most famous person who’s rented a GoCar?

Nathan: You would be surprised at how many we have had. Just last week we had Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia, A Year of Wishful Drinking). We’ve also had the lead singer of Iron Maiden (Bruce Dickenson) rent one while he was here for OZ fest, Conan O’Brien and Tim Matheson to name a few. The most amazing person that rented from us may not be the most famous but I think it has to be Antonio “Tintín” Vizintín. If you don’t recognize his name, you have most likely heard his story as it was told in the 1993 movie Alive where the Uruguay rugby teams aircraft crashed in the Andes mountains. They were presumed dead but, some of them had actually survived and were forced to survive for 72 days without supplies by eating their expired team mates. Meeting someone with that amount of courage was just amazing.

Viator: Has anybody ever stolen a