Weird & Wonderful

It’d been a week of bad weather coming up to the Amsterdam Red Light District walking tour, making it feel like the place was kinda living up to its name. Old Man Horizontal Snow, Captain Sleet and Unfeasibly Strong and Bloody Cold Wind with Grey Skies (didn’t get his first name) had all been round and over stayed any welcome they might have had in this town, so that when the night of the walk through Amsterdam’s Red Light District finally came by, the sky was at least clear enough to make out the Red Lights in question.

Amsterdam’s Red Light District - Jack Takes a Tour

Red light, apparently, smooths out your skin with its invisible Super Rays, making you look 10 years younger and your booty hotter, too, I’ll bet. Now, you’ve probably all been imagining Old Jack as a six-foot man with wisdom etched into his Outback-hardened features. And so he could probably do with a little red light to make him look younger. Well, as I climbed atop my standard Amsterdam-issue bicycle (the straight black frame, bent handlebars and the standard upright posture) that had been built for someone at least a foot taller than me, I found myself wishing for some way to stop the giggles of pedestrians, as not even a little red light could cover up the tippy-toes riding posture and my helplessly aged booty stuck high in the air. I’ll put dignity on next month’s shopping list.

But enough about me getting my leg over on the high bike seat, I reckon what you all want is to hear about the laydeez…

Jack’s Amsterdam Red Light District Tour

The red light district in Amsterdam is just next to the Centraal Station, and the streets nearby are full of tourists that couldn’t tell a bike path from the road to hell – they’re the ones standing grinning in front of you, once you’ve brought your bike to an abrupt halt. They’re the same ones filling the “coffeeshops”, slowly driving their heads into their navels on the local’s “greenery” that comes in menu-filling flavours over here.

Overall though, Amsterdam ain’t so full of non-locals, what with the thousand flavours of English spokjen over here, and given that this is the centre of town you’d probably expect to be tripping over someone in the thick of the action, but there’s still space enough.

Amsterdam’s Red Light District

Departing from the tourist pickup point on the Damrak, our little loving posse led by local guide [her name removed, to protect the not-so-innocent], we wandered across the road where the lanes got narrower and the alleys more alley-like. Starting at the Prostitution Information Centre (PIC), we were given an overview of what goes on and has gone on over the years with the hustling and bustling of the neighbourhood. And some questions bantered about to answers by the former sex worker, now one of many working at the PIC (you have to have worked in the area before working in the Centre, which provides free help to workers in Amsterdam since 1994).

And then out on the street, the tour proper begins – with a little “window shopping” as it, er, would be… In this area in Amsterdam, one of three red light districts we are told, but by far the most visible being in the old town centre, there are 200 windows (of the 400 in Amsterdam). In these windows, after joining the waiting list to get a spot, is a strange little slice of life – the window itself, more a glass fronted doorway, with the talent standing ready for your order, and behind the bed all a-ready and waiting to go. Get her attention, should this be your port of call in your personal storm, fix a price, pull the curtains and get to work, or not as you wish, as the clock starts on your 20 minutes. Simple as that. Back out the door and back on the streets you’ll be feeling like a new man, or if that’s what you want, that can be organised for a price, too.

Sex? Oh sure. Me? No thanks.

Over a beer at a pub back home one day, a mate characterised the Dutch approach to drugs pretty simply – “Drugs? Oh sure. Me? No, thanks.” That’s liberal with the small “L” and an open-minded culture to boot.

Same goes for the “oldest professional,” which in Holland is respected and the workers’ rights protected. As our guide tells us between bouts of “we (Dutch) think this is all OK” (which I’m not one to argue either way), she mentions that the profession is OK for many except if it’s your wife, or mother, or sister, or workmate.

Kinda same difference really. So it’s probably no big surprise either, that rather than be a big eye-opener, it’s sometimes, well, a bit odd. Strangely, during the tour, I kinda felt like making the two worlds meet and grab a pre-roll of the green stuff on our way past a coffeeshop to make sure the stroll had a bit more of that surreal edge. But, for you, my dear readers, despite my New World yearnings, I stayed alert and sober to spot the unmissable and see with eyes wide open rather than ajar like a letterbox. Perhaps it would have made the minute down the single-file row of windows later in the tour that bit more confronting as the laydeez did their dance in white knickers and teeth under the UV bulbs and red lights…

The church that stands smack in the middle of the district, Amsterdam’s first, is a strange testament to the separation between sacred and profane that saw the oldest profession start up in the first place all those years ago – the church’s taboo finding a way to bring a price on the street. In its 700 years, Amsterdam has grown from its maritime beginnings, the old town centre now forming part of the Red Light District, being the site of the old dyke wall that held back the sea and marked the beginnings of the new land. The sailors would spill off the ships and into the impromptu shops where anything that had been missing those last few months at sea could be set for a price. The statue built by the PIC out front of the Old Church has a woman standing in a doorway, just as those ready for what the sea blew in back in the day.

Change the oil, rotate those tires

Rather than tell you all the juicy bits and recount the hollers of the strapping young American lads as they caught men coming out of what they called “the wrong doorway, dude”, it’s probably best if you see it for yourself. I’ve never been one for Kings Cross, back in old Sydney-town – but this place luckily lacks that down-on-your-luck atmosphere that rumples its way through those back-alleys in Kings X. There’s a strange “nothing to hide here” attitude pervading the district by the Damrak that makes it all a transparent – maybe leaves you wondering what other people are walking through there for, and maybe you, too?

So, I’ll leave you with a thought – some comparative economics if you like. I just sold my car, the one with the penchant for losing wheels at high speed I mentioned a while back. Well, in Australia it’s about $80 for a basic service. In Holland, you can get your car the same basic service for 60 euros, which is a little more once you do the exchange rate at its best. But as we learnt at the Prostitution Information Service at the beginning of the tour, a basic service in the Red Light District will just set you back 30 to 50 euros, which for a personal lube and oil change could well be the best value you’ll get without having to give some stranger your car keys.

–Jack Brown

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Amsterdam tours & things to do, from Red Light District walking tours to Keukenhof Gardens tours to Amsterdam canal cruises.

Editor’s Note: Let’s all of us hope the 2008 Olympic games in Beijing aren’t canceled due to the recent unrest in Hikinboot. We’re keeping a close eye on the developing story.

At Viator, our mission is to help you make the most of your travels. We believe passionately in discovering new cultures, trying new experiences, and getting beneath the surface of a destination.

In that spirit Viator is pleased to announce the launch of a new country on our website: the Republic of Bakpakhistan. Our team of travel experts has tried for three years to crack open the Bakpakhi tours and activities market. It’s not been easy. The Republic of Bakpakhistan has had a rough go of it; first there was the collapse of its patron, the Soviet Union. Then after a brief flurry of activity in 2001, the country literally — quite literally — disappeared from the map.

Haggling over US$0.0001 at the rug market © Lonely Planet

Now, after seven years of isolation and closed borders, the country is re-opening to tourism. The capital, Hikinboot, has started the slow process of rebuilding and repopulating.

“Dubbed by detractors and admirers alike as the ‘Paris of the Central Urgs’, Hikinboot is an oasis of unbreathable air and inedible food. Bakpakhistan may be the ‘forgotten Stan’, but Hikinboot is a vital stopping-off point on any journey around the country - in fact it’s the only stopping-off point, as the sprinkling of land mines, ageing nuclear reactors, viciously hungry guerrillas, and marauding groups of gun-wielding Soviet soldiers who’ve refused to come in from the cold conspire to make travel outside the capital an impossibility. Travel to and from Hikinboot’s airport will be the sum total of road travel you’re likely to undertake.

–Lonely Planet World Guide: Destination Bakpakhistan

Bakpakhistan: Planning Your Trip

So exactly where is Bakpakhistan? What can you expect from a visit there? When to go? What to see & do? These are all great questions. And we have answers.

“Bakpakhistan is bordered by Tajikistan to the north, Uzbekistan to the northwest, Turkmenistan to the west, Afghanistan to the south, Pakistan to the southeast and India to the east. Bakpakhistan is ringed by mountains, creating a mostly dry, arid, windswept microclimate. There is little fresh water, as most major streams from the mountains flow down the other side into neighbouring countries. The one exception, the Guz River, kept the cooling towers cool back in Soviet times. Now, it’s best not spoken about.”

“Bakpakhistan’s only real event is the annual grain festival, the Bakbakbakstöp Harvest Festival. The event, celebrating the nation’s only successful harvest (1867), takes place in the first three weeks of June. A country already pretty much stationary grinds to a total stop, as every town hosts a parade featuring residents wearing traditional three-cornered hats. It’s also the only time of the year when children are allowed to play the traditional game of stïc bol, played with a stïc (a type of stick) and a bol (a round ball).”

–Lonely Planet World Guide: Destination Bakpakhistan

Viator.com is a proud sponsor of the 2008 Bakbakbakstöp Harvest Festival. As part of the festivities, we’ve partnered with Education Minister Snagult Ufqunt to create a crash-course of local tours to help visitors make the most of a holiday in Bakpakhistan.

Semi-traditional non-nomadic Bakpakhistani dwelling © Lonely Planet

Bakpakhistan: Full Day Foraging Tour

From BK3.7 million / US$1.50 per person
Spend a full day discovering Bakpakhistan’s hottest forgaging spots. You’ll learn about the secret spot near the abandoned overpass, the one by the smelly part of the river and more of Bakpakhistan’s best kept foraging secrets form locals who know. Also, you’ll stop off at the market of Gagin Mawnkoont for shopping and gawking at its famous mutations. You’re probably going to need to forage for food, or makeshift transport to leave the country at some point anyway, so this tour is a MUST.

Hikinboot Day Tour*

From BK2.1 million / US$0.99 per person
Visit the ‘Paris of the Central Urgs’! Dodge land mines, guerrillas, nuclear meltdowns and more as you spend a day getting to know this exciting city. This exclusive Viator tour includes:

• Statue of Stalin
• The remains of Proletariat House
• Admission to the carpet museum
• Lunch at Crazy Abdull’s (no vegetarian option)
• A souvenir land mine

Bakpakhi Cultural Half Day Tour, with Clicking Fingers Demonstration

From BK123 million / US$5 per person
Bakpakhistan is renowned for its crafts and carpets, not to mention its folk music. And the rumors are true: Paul Simon has agreed to make a album (produced by Peter Gabriel, featuring Sting and Bono) based on the Bakpakhici art of clicking fingers and tongues while simultaneously slapping a raw cod on the side of a leather boot. This exclusive tour includes a walk through the Hikinboot carpet museum and concludes with a live performance by the Bakpakhi Five Mega-Minstrels at the Bollixinski soccer stadium. Prime Minister Slotcar Nascar will perform a stïc bol demonstration between cod slaps.

Guz River Experience

From BK99 / US$0.00000002 per person
Spend a few hours on what used to be the Guz River. The river was actually concreted over in 1992 and is now the Hivk Highway. Your guide will take you along the highway in a boat converted into a landmobile. You will have the opportunity to view all the sites that were enjoyed from the river before 1992. If you are lucky some of the concrete will be cracked enough in sections along the highway allowing a glimpse of the sludge. You will want your cameras ready when you pass Bakpakhistan woman carrying 30 litres (8 gallons) of water on their heads just to give their children something to drink. The highlight of the tour is when you stop at former fisherman’s shack and get to view all his mutated and preserved marine animals from the good old days when the river was a cesspool of toxic chemicals.

Pricing on request
Your journey begins with a stop in historic Baghpakh, continuing on to the Bakdur Brothel and Cybercafe for a brief photo opportunity. Then it’s off along the Hvik Highway in a yak cart to experience the incredible beauty of the King Tuj mountains, framed against the towering Timtamistan Cliffs. The Timtamistan Arnottonomous Zone is the most ethnically diverse - and dangerous - region in Bakpakhistan. Local tribes have inhabited these badlands for generations and will not hesitate to dunk your biscuit. Notable tribes include the Timtamoriginal clan, the Order of the Timtamchewykarmelites, Timtamdoublecoats, Timtamdarkks, Timtamlövepötiöns, Timtam-chocölatemudders, Timtamstickyvanillatöffees and the vicious tribe of the Timtam Lattes. On the crest of the Timtamistan Cliffs, you will board a thinly disguised UN aid helicopter for a once-in-a-lifetime, 7 minute, 4,000-foot descent to the mighty Guz River below. At the river’s edge, you’ll board a pontoon boat for a relaxing boat ride down toxic Guz tributaries. Float across the water grasping the inner majesty and mystery of this fabulous chasm. Don’t forget your camera!Happy travels. Or as they say in Bakpashti, Vlassplosspissinskaya!

–The Viator Travel Team

* Viator and the local tour operator are not responsible for death, injury, or other harm sustained on this tour. Undertake at your own risk. In fact, maybe just pick something else, we hear the foraging tour is nice, and practical too.

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A few months ago I stumbled upon the Budget Travel Supermarket Souvenir article, with its quirky mix of items you can buy in foreign supermarkets. Pig-liver patee in handy “to go” portions, grilled shrimp and pepper flavored Pringles, that sort of thing. There’s a good slideshow if you’re interested.

I appreciate supermarket shenanigans as much as the next person. But the article left me a little hungry for more (pun only partially intended). The concept is great — travel souvenirs and mementos from foreign lands — but why limit it to foreign supermarkets?

No, let’s go big here. Let’s open this concept up to any and all travel shwag. I’m hungry for a list of the world’s most quirky, oddest, funniest (both strange & ha ha) and downright weird travel mementos. Did you bring home a shrunken head? A jar of pickled feet? A felt painting of Jesus driving a monster truck?

Don’t be shy. You are not alone in your appreciation of weird & wonderful travel souvenirs. I’ve added a few of my personal favorites, but please send us yours! Simply email your photo (jpeg preferably) with a short explanation at feedback@viator.com and we will add the best ones to the list below.

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: It’s Unbelizeable

When I was 22 years old I went to Romania to write a travel guide for other 22-year-olds. Strangely enough, nobody was interested in Romania at the time, especially not the 22 year olds. My mom felt bad, so she bought me an “I Luv Romania” T-shirt. The shirt makes me laugh about a difficult time in my life (you go spend 8 weeks in post-revolution Romania and tell me how you like it). To this day I still know how to say, in Romanian, “No! I do not like pork liver.”

At the other end of the emotional spectrum is my shirt from Belize. It says “You Better Belize It!” Which pretty much sums up the wonderfulness that is Belize (read about the wonderfulness here).

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: Monkey Madness

I ran out of toothpaste once when I was in Kenya. After much fruitless searching I was informed that in Kenya it’s more common to use tooth powder. Fair enough. So I picked up this — tub? jar? bottle? — of Monkey Brand Black Tooth Powder, imported from India. No, it did not turn my teeth black. Yes, I was worried about that.

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: Allahu Akbar

I bought this mosque clock after taking a trip to Istanbul (read about that trip here), where I became completely enamored with the call to prayer. This clock is perhaps the best travel souvenir I have ever purchased. Every time the alarm goes off I think fondly back on my time in Istanbul and Turkey. If you’re curious to experience the clock’s call-to-prayer alarm firsthand, click here (warning - this is loud).

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: Hutt River Freestate

This T-shirt is from the largely unrecognised Principality of the Hutt River Province, which ’seceded’ from Australia in 1970. It’s located in Western Australia, about 5 hours from absolutely nowhere. Prince Leonard and Princess Shirley run a gift shop, as well as guided tours most days. The photo was submitted by John Ryan, author of a superb book on Micronations.

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: The Red Detachment of Women

Another entry from John, this time of a female soldier-ballerina statuette with a pistol, from the balllet The Red Detachment of Women. It was a Cultural Revolution favourite in Mao’s China. Richard Nixon saw it in ‘72 and it’s still performed on high rotation. The statue is just over a foot high and was purchased at a market in Beijing in 1998.

Best Travel Souvenirs & Mementos: Singapore Surrender Monkeys

Another one from John Ryan, who says: “This is a tiny little souvenir fan I picked up in a gift shop on Sentosa in Singapore in 2000. Friends have looked but not seen these since - I wonder if they’re still on sale? Only 7cm (or just under 3 inches) wide, the fan depicts the Fall of Singapore to the Japanese in World War II, with British soldiers signing the surrender papers. Ahhh, the memories!”

Do you have a travel souvenir you’d like to share? If so simply email your photo (jpeg preferably) with a short explanation to feedback@viator.com. We’ll add the best travel shwag to this list.

–Scott McNeely

At Viator we’re constantly searching for new ways to experience destinations like a traveler, not just a tourist. Which is why we are pleased to offer the ground breaking, cutting edge, and profoundly yellow GPS-guided Storytelling GoCars for city touring over on the Viator website.

Huh? What’s that? What in the world are we talking about???

GPS GoCars in San Francisco

Let’s start at the beginning. Once upon time a man named Nathan Withrington (along with his business partner Alasdair Clements) had a vision. What if visitors to a city could drive around in miniature cars with the latest GPS (Global Positioning Satellite) technology, with an audio tour that was “smart” like a local? Their idea was to allow visitors to leave their guidebooks behind and instead discover a city with clever talking cars that navigate and narrate as you drive. An on-board computer and a GPS-system do the thinking so travelers can sit back and explore the destination from a completely personalized perspective.

Fast-forward to 2004, and Nathan and Alasdair offer the first-ever GoCar GPS car rentals in San Francisco and San Diego. Since then their idea has really taken off. If you live on San Francisco or San Diego, you’ve probably seen these bright-yellow minicars navigating the streets, going places that most tourists never go.

We recently caught up with Nathan and asked him a few question about tourism, GPS technology and the growing popularity of GPS GoCars.

GPS GoCars: Interview with Nathan Withrington

Viator: So Nathan, what exactly is a GoCar?

Nathan: The GoCar is a new concept in tourism. We were the first company in the world that, through GPS technology, empowered sightseers to take themselves on a guided tour. Our little cars have a personality and are you tour guide. As you drive, they navigate like a traditional GPS, but that is not all. They will crack jokes with you, recommend restaurants and tell you the stories that bring the city to life. As you drive, the car give you options of places to go and things to see. The more options you take, the longer your tour. So for the first time in history, they can not only take themselves on a guided tour, they can choose when they leave, how long they go for, where they go, when to stop and the language the tour is given in.

Viator: I live in San Francisco, and I’ve been seeing more of these GPS-enabled cars on the streets. It sounds like your idea has really caught hold and taken off.

Nathan: It all started a few weeks after we opened our doors for business. The San Francisco Chronicle wrote a full-page article on us and put it on the front page of their technology section. Before you know it, Time magazine nominated us for “one of the most amazing inventions of the year.” From that point the press has just not stopped, from Today show, Travel Channel, BBC, New York Times, USA Today… and it just keeps coming.

Viator: OK, be straight with me here. Are GoCars safe? Has anybody ever driven one into the bay?

Nathan: Occasionally, some people are intimidated by the vehicle’s small size and the fact that they are driving on city streets. The vehicles are registered as mopeds but the fact that you have three wheels, not two, makes them much more stable. Thankfully to date, with over 65,000 happy customers, we have not had any serious incidents. We take safety very seriously and make sure everyone that drives a GoCar is given a thorough safety briefing on how to operate the vehicle. With regards to driving one in to the bay, you never know, maybe we will come out with an amphibious GoCar one day!

Viator: Do you need a special license? Special training?

Nathan: All you need is a standard drivers license. The vehicles are operated 100% with hand controls very similar to a bicycle. They are fully automatic, so there is no clutch or gears to worry about. After the safety briefing, most people take to it like a duck to water. The GPS will keep people of the busy streets for the most part and will even warn you when you are entering areas where you need to be cautious.

Viator: I’ve heard the GoCar audio tours as people drive by my house. Do you offer custom voices? Can I select John Wayne to give me a tour of SF?

Yes, that really is Conan O’Brien next to a GPS GoCar in San Francisco

Nathan: We do offer custom themes. My favorite is the “MisterSF tour,” written and narrated by Mister San Francisco (of MisterSF.com) himself. This is a great tour for people that think they already know San Francisco. It does not take you to the obvious places like the Golden Gate Bridge and Lombard St, but rather it shows you the more notorious side of San Francisco, such as where a serial killer lived, where notorious murders happened and buildings that were destroyed in the 1989 earthquake.

Viator: Who’s the most famous person who’s rented a GoCar?

Nathan: You would be surprised at how many we have had. Just last week we had Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia, A Year of Wishful Drinking). We’ve also had the lead singer of Iron Maiden (Bruce Dickenson) rent one while he was here for OZ fest, Conan O’Brien and Tim Matheson to name a few. The most amazing person that rented from us may not be the most famous but I think it has to be Antonio “Tintín” Vizintín. If you don’t recognize his name, you have most likely heard his story as it was told in the 1993 movie Alive where the Uruguay rugby teams aircraft crashed in the Andes mountains. They were presumed dead but, some of them had actually survived and were forced to survive for 72 days without supplies by eating their expired team mates. Meeting someone with that amount of courage was just amazing.

Viator: Has anybody ever stolen a GoCar? Is it even possible to steal one?

Nathan: The great thing about the GoCar is that it is not exactly an inconspicuous vehicle! And it also has GPS tracking. We did have one incident where a couple stopped to have lunch and when they came out the car had gone. They called us to tell us the car had been stolen. All it took was one call to the police to say, “Yellow GoCar with the number 11 on it,” and 10 minutes later the car was recovered, given back to the customers and they were on their way!

Viator: OK, last question: What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven a GoCar?

Nathan: The fastest I’ve ever driven a GoCar? Well, firstly I need to say the cars are only designed to do 30 to 35mph. Having said that, being an engineer, I did modify one of the cars for my personal use to go faster. Much faster. I put an engine three times the size of a regular GoCar engine in it, and that particular GoCar would go over 60mph… for my personal enjoyment only.

Check it out for yourself. Rent a GPS GoCar in San Francisco or San Diego the next time you’re visiting. Or if you live in one of these cities, take your next out-of-town guests on a GPS GoCar tour.

–Scott McNeely

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s tours and things to do in San Francisco, San Diego and coastal California.

Editor’s Note: We are pleased to announce the winners of our NYC Rock ‘n’ Roll contest: Beth Dekoker (her entry: “Over 40, a mom and still rockin!”) and Peter Randell (his entry: “My old punk tee is used to wash the car”). Just to recap, we are giving away 2 free T-shirts for answering one simple question in 10 words or less: Why should we give YOU a free rock ‘n’ roll T-shirt? Congratulations Beth & Peter.

Once upon a time rock ‘n’ roll was king. Rock conquered everything in its musical path, from schmaltzy folk ballads to lightweight pop. Rock’s lethal instrument was the electric guitar. Its warriors wore long hair (if you were into Led Zeppelin) or short hair (if you were a punk). It was sweaty, smelled like cheap beer and urine, and it was loud.

One constant in the ever-changing world of rock is New York City. It’s the home of a dozen seminal bands. Which is where Ron Colinear (a.k.a. Bobby Pinn) comes in. He’s the chief guide and founder of Rock Junket, a company on a mission to celebrate, preserve and expose New York’s great (and too often neglected) music and pop culture history.

NYC Rock n Roll Founder, Ron Colinear (Bobby Pinn)

Bobby Pinn covers New York City’s music-related landmarks and lore on his acclaimed Rock Junket: New York City Rock ‘n’ Roll Walking Tour. Pinn eagerly and enthusiastically walks his rock flock past where Blondie, the Velvet Underground, Television, the Ramones, New York Dolls and Patti Smith lived and played, where Andy Warhol plied his rough trade in his “Factories,” where the Beatles roosted while in the city, and where they riled up millions with their appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show. Charlie Parker’s Alphabet City pad, Johnny Thunders den of iniquity, Madonna’s first New York City apartment, CBGB’s (the birth place of punk rock), Max’s Kansas City, Andy Warhol’s Exploding Plastic Inevitable parties, Led Zeppelin’s album cover, the Rolling Stones video shoot.

Yes, you cover a lot of rock when you take a NYC rock ‘n’ roll walking tour with Bobby Pin.

Interview with Bobby Pinn: Are you ready to rock in NYC?

At Viator we’re proud to offer Bobby’s NYC rock walk. (Yes, even at Viator, we love to rock.) So we tracked down Rock Junket’s founder and asked him a few questions about New York City, its music, and the bands that have made the city (in)famous.

Viator: What’s the most underrated band you cover on your tour?

Bobby Pin: The Dictators. They were a punk band that formed in New York City in the early 1970s and had their first album released in 1975. They didn’t enjoy a lot of commercial success but they certainly were admired by other bands of that era. Little Steven, of Springsteen’s E Street Band and the Sopranos, referred to them “as the connective tissue between the era’s of The MC5, The Stooges, New York Dolls and the punk explosion of the mid to late 1970’s”.

Viator: OK, so what’s the cheesiest band you cover on your tour?

Bobby Pin: No cheese on my rock tours, baby. I save it for my burgers.

Viator: What’s the best place to see live rock music in NYC these days?

Former NYC Rock Landmark: CBGBs

Bobby Pin: The NYC music has changed over the years. CBGB’s closed in 2006 and The Continental stopped hosting live bands that same year. However Mercury Lounge, Arlenes Grocery, Pianos, Fillmore at Irving Plaza, Bowery Ballroom, and Warsaw in Brooklyn are all great venues.

Viator: Who’s the most famous person / musician you’ve ever taken on a tour?

Bobby Pin: Johnny Rotten! No, not really. But I did meet him once at the Chelsea Hotel and he was cool, took a picture with me and signed an autograph. However I had Roberta Bayley, who is a very famous photographer. Roberta shot the debut cover for the Ramones and she did the back cover shot of the Dolls debut. Also Rebecca Rankin from VH1. But the cool thing about my walks are that we bump into people on the streets. Richard Hell, Lou Reed, Ric Ocasek, Debbie Harry, Handsome Dick Manitoba, my groups have been lucky some days.

Viator: Are there any good up-and-coming NYC bands people should listen for?

Bobby Pin: The days of bands moving to New York City are slim because of the high cost of living. In the 1970s, ’80s and even part of the ’90s you could have a band, share a pad and practice and get gigs and still survive. But the cost of living is so high nowadays that many musicians and artists live on the outskirts of NYC. I also believe we will never see an era like 1964-1979. That was 15 years of unbelievable music, fashion and art. However there are a few bands from NYC that are making some strides. I like The Black Hollies and EL-P from Brooklyn.

Viator: Who’s more rock n’ roll: The Ramones or New York Dolls?

Bobby Pin: Wow, that is a tough one. I believe The Dolls, The Velvet Underground and The Stooges were the punk rock foundation. The Dolls did have Johnny Thunders, who was pretty damn rock n roll. But I would say the Ramones as they jump started the whole punk rock scene and they had Dee Dee who also was pretty damn rock n roll. But then again I have a Dolls tattoo.

Viator: If you could, what other city would you want to do a Rock n’ Roll tour in — London? Los Angeles? Seattle?

Bobby Pin: I have plans to branch out to other cities. London, Chicago, LA, SF are on my radar so look out rock n roll fans. Rock Junket is coming to your town, so get ready to rock.

Contest: Free NYC Rock ‘n’ Roll T-Shirt Alert!

What better way to say “I Luv Rock ‘n’ Roll” than with a free Rock Junket T-shirt, featuring the cool logo above. These ain’t shabby Tees, neither. We’re talking about high-quality, black American Apparel T-shirts. We have 2 T-shirts to give away, one for a woman and one for a man.

So what’s the deal?

In 10 words or less (yes, we will count them) answer the following question: Why should we give YOU a free rock ‘n’ roll T-shirt? That’s right, simply answer the question “why should we give YOU a free rock ‘n’ roll T-shirt?” in 10 words or less, and we will chose the best 2 entries (1 female, 1 male) to win a free Rock Junket NYC Rock ‘n’ Roll T-shirt. The contest closes February 29. (Please note, the contest is now closed, see below for the winners.)

Good luck. And for those about to rock in NYC, we salute you.

–Scott McNeely

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s tours & things to do in New York City, from the Rock ‘n’ Roll Walking Tour to a Hip Hop NYC Tour and dozens more off-beat and unique NYC travel ideas.

Call it synchronicity, call it what you will. When I receive two emails about something, then it must be a trend. Or a coincidence. Or possibly just another day on the internet.

Case in point. A few weeks ago I was forwarded a link to a fascinating article on BudgetTravel.com about 10 Celebrity-Trashed Hotel Rooms. Normally I don’t pay attention to celebrity gossip. But how can you resist a story about hotels and their celebrity guests. Keith Moon after a stay at the Day’s Inn in Michigan? $24,000 in damage. Johnny Depp after an altercation with girlfriend Kate Moss at the Mark Hotel in New York City? $9,000 in damage. Billy Idol after a three-week drug and booze binge at the Oriental Hotel in Bangkok? Carried out in a stretcher plus a $200,000 bill.

Now that’s quality celebrity entertainment!

Then just last week a coworker (we’ll call her elly-kay to protect the innocent) sent me a link to a new celebrity hotel development, the Brando Eco Hotel on the island of Tetiaroa in Tahiti (a.k.a. French Polynesia). Marlon Brando apparently fell in love with the island in 1965 after filming Mutiny of the Bounty. So of course he bought it. As one does.

Brando’s Eco Hotel: Population 1

Here’s an excerpt from the website. We’ll do some close textual analysis in a moment:

The former playground of Tahitian Kings, Tetiaroa is now virtually uninhabited (population of one – Brando’s son Teihotu). The project is being overseen by Tahiti Beachcomber SA, whose CEO, Richard Bailey, owner of several luxury resorts in French Polynesia, had been in contact with the actor for a number of years… “The Brando eco-hotel will be exactly what Marlon would have wanted: Energy-autonomous and built with natural materials, it will rest lightly on its environment and be nearly invisible from the water. It will showcase the latest in renewable energy technologies, including some we are already employing in our new hotel in Bora Bora, which Marlon had promised to inaugurate. We worked together on this project for three years before he died,” says CEO Bailey.

If you don’t think too hard about, it sounds like a lovely story. Marlon Brando falls in love with a Tahitian island, buys it, and pours millions of dollars into developing a luxury hotel complex built on ecologically sound practices. Good on ya, Marlon.

Now for that close textual analysis...

Tetiaroa is now virtually uninhabited (population of one – Brando’s son Teihotu). Hmmm, population of one. Could that be because Marlon Brando begged Teihotu’s mother, Tarita Teriipaia, to have his child but later changed his mind and urged her to have an abortion? (She refused and the couple had a son, Teihotu, followed by a daughter, Cheyenne.) Or maybe it’s because Marlon later committed Teihotu’s sister Cheyenne to a revolving door of psychiatric institutes. “When she started being ill, Marlon stopped coming here, to Tahiti, and no longer called,” Teriipaia writes in her tell-all book, Marlon, My Love, My Suffering. Or maybe it’s because Teihotu’s sister Cheyenne hanged herself in 1995 after her brother (Teihotu’s half-brother), Christian Brando, shot and killed Cheyenne’s boyfriend, Dag Drollet, in 1990. Either way, Teihotu has plenty of reasons to live alone.

And what about this bit: The Brando eco-hotel will be exactly what Marlon would have wanted: Energy-autonomous and built with natural materials, it will rest lightly on its environment and be nearly invisible from the water. Yeah, that sounds like the Marlon Brando who demanded a multi-million dollar fee to appear briefly in the film Superman. Or the man who helped Leonard Peltier flee the FBI in a motor home filled with dynamite, guns and airplane tickets charged to Brando’s own credit card. Yup, that sounds like somebody who’s primary concern in life is energy autonomy and natural building materials.

And then there’s that final telling detail: It will showcase the latest in renewable energy technologies, including some we are already employing in our new hotel in Bora Bora, which Marlon had promised to inaugurate. My interpretation of CEO Bailey’s comment — ‘Marlon you owe me money! You said he would pay for all this, is the check really in the mail??’

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m sure the Brando Eco Hotel will be a lovely place when it opens. If it ever opens. But let’s not get carried away. Let’s not paint the place with a brush dipped in Marlon Brando’s good name or fame. The man was a nut. The man brutalized his children. The man was out of control.

The Brando Eco Hotel may well prove to be a great place to stay. But it will have nothing to do with Brando, or the Brando mystique. This is a case of celebrity hotel-trashing that leaves a sour taste in the mouth, and CEO Bailey ought to do everything he can to distance the project from the deceased star.

In the very least, we all should leave poor Teihotu alone in his splendid isolation. The last thing Teihotu needs is a pack of celebrity-seeking tourists demanding autographs and remembrances of the Great Man.

–Scott McNeely

Editor’s Note: Jack is back. Well near a computer, anyway. It’s been a rough month for Jack after that wrong turn down in Queensland. Since then he’s been up and down and round and round, with more than a few tales to tell. Jack is in Berlin now. It’s unclear how he got there. And it’s equally unclear if the Australian passport authorities will ever let Jack come home again.

Black clothes? Check. Mowhawk? Check.

As you might expect, I’ve been a little down-on-my-luck lately. Had a fight with the missus, got turfed out on the street, and been a bit short on cash. I had to walk for a while, and well, even without a wallet full of pictures of the Queen, I managed to get around. I had this theory that, if you did it the right way, you could make your way without any money, but you’d have to do it with a particular style, y’know – flair.

But first, a point of order: I like a beer as much the next bloke, and I’ve had more than a few in my time, probably more than hot dinners, mainly because its hard to have six or more hot dinners straight after your first hot dinner. But beer? There’s always room for one more, and as they say, one for the road.

And if the road is where you are heading, probably just for a sleep or to meet some mates, who’s to say “no”? Even if it is well before midday and you don’t quite sound like you’re past last night. But if they’re only 60 cents, then chuck a couple of extra letters in “beer” and call that “breakfast”.

Now as far as that point of style goes, you may have noticed, except for some of the bands that tour nowadays, it’s not the 1970s anymore. And a *few* things have changed.

But the punks of Berlin seem to have that debonair way with cloth and hair that is like a passport to the world, and their story, well it’s sort of like a gutter and street-corner tour of the world. They care not for money, they care not for manners, hygiene and fine dentition. They care not for their packs of dogs of mixed breeding (except for the cute little scarfs they make them wear). One could learn a lot from these backpackers of the streets (strasse): travel light, don’t get thirsty and know all the things not to do and people not so see.

Berlin Punk: Some Background

The truth of the matter is, being punk in Berlin starts with an attitude, which is how the whole punk thing got started in the first place. Back in the glory days, the attitude came from your politics: social change, dissatisfaction with the way things were and nonviolent direct action. And like any decent cowboy of the streets, the way you dressed and how you lived showed your hard-fought politics, so there was something to it. I don’t usually judge a book by its cover, but these days in the punk section of life’s library, there is a lot more “poor me” whining, punk as fashion statement, and direct non-action than even a couple of years ago.

Berlin Punk: You Need a Dog

To have your passport to punk-backpacking success stamped and ready to go, you will need: that dog or two I mentioned before, some black clothes (ill-fitting is best), obligatory safety pins, hair in a mandatory mohawk (with or without colour and vertical ascension), boots, empty pockets and — to pull it altogether — a loping stride and downcast sneer. Got it? Now we need somewhere to go.

Berlin Punk: A Place to Loiter

Berlin Punk is Not Dead

Berlin’s Alexanderplatz must have been an amazing place for people to come together back in the day: a great hulking open space in the middle of a great booming city, old Soviet-style buildings dwarfing everything in the area. Imagine all the People coming to be comrades, to meet, to talk, to greet each other and spend some time, even in the depths of the cold Berlin winter; the harsh shapes of the buildings softened by the warmth of the people milling in the Platz. AND it features the amazing golf ball on a stick (Fernsehturm, or TV Tower). Makes a fella from the country just wonder and shake his head, because a place like this could eat 10 town squares for breakfast and still have room for more.

And there’s that word again, breakfast, makes my stomach rumble just running over the words in my mind and for good reason, too. Three things I’ve found in my few days in Germany - well Berlin, which is practically an island in the stream. These three things could practically pass for a national pasttime in these parts: Breakfast, Renovation and Bicycles. Of these three, breakfast is the punk-backpackers only domain. No house to renovate, no need for a bike (because you’ve got your feet, and they’ve got boots). So back to breakfast and Alexanderplatz, what could they have in common? Twenty of your mates, two dogs each and that beer we left waiting a couple of paragraphs ago. Now head down to the platz and get started!

Helps make friends, won’t help keep them

Another good place to hang out is at Kottbusser Tor U-bahn station, there’s always a party going on there — y’know just standing about and talking to drunks and their dogs. Just round the corner there is the Köpi, home of the regular Volkskuche (literally “people’s kitchen” or a place for cheap shared meals), punk bands on weekends and punks during the week (it smells the same any day).

Or there’s always the old favourite, Friedrichshain: plenty of space, the rent is still cheap but unfortunately most of the squats have been shut down so that leaves you with only take-away beers to drink at those great hangouts because the squat bars are nearly all gone. There is still the Fischladen though, and that will always live on.

Berlin Punk: Things Not To Do

Now, if you’ve got the hang of it and a few places to get started on your punk backpacker’s tour of Berlin you’ll need some things to do. We’ve already covered beer, drinking in public and hanging out with your dog. When out walking, if you need some space and someone is in the way, just push through (but ignore them as you do it). And remember if you are short of space, there is always more room on the bike-path or especially on the road.

If you need a steady course of income try begging, or bang away on a guitar tunelessly while your mate begs. Or maybe just a sign in front of you so you can fit in some quality staring-at-the-ground time, there’s never enough of that. Don’t forget not to smile. Smashing bottles is always good to fill the day (again, especialy on the bike path), as is shouting at the ruling class, they’re everywhere. You’ll know them because they’re the ones that don’t look like you.

–Jack Brown

Plannnig a trip? Browse Viator’s list of things to do in Berlin, Munich tours and what to do in Germany.

He’s not visiting there, or on vacation, or anything like that. No, my dentist lives there. He works in a wonderful, big, shiny and modern dental centre with lots of other dentists and nurses and hygienists, and all the other people and equipment you expect to see at the dentist.

I like him being there. Besides charging me about 80% less than what I’d pay for similar work in Sydney or San Francisco, I like the fact that he’s far enough away that he doesn’t call or email every few months about my next check-up or some other annoying “procedure.” No, he just waits patiently for me to transit through Bangkok on my way to or from Sydney. I am firmly in control of our relationship.

Deep in Bangkok, Jordan in Thai food heaven

And what a great place to have a dentist! As my colleague Jordan Digby — a Thailand resident — likes to say, Bangkok is a very fractal city. No matter how deep you go, there’s always another interesting pattern to be revealed. The guidebook is almost a distraction. The real action is… everywhere.

Visiting Bangkok last week to see one of our suppliers — and to drop in on Dr. Chat for a, well, a chat, I suppose — Jordan and I decided to venture deep into culinary Bangkok to sample a tiny restaurant that the New York Times has twice, over a period of 12 years, described in terms that would have their readers imagine it’s the “best of the best” Thai restaurants on our small blue planet. Having eaten some pretty good Thai food in our time, this was a claim we were interested in testing. We set off at 5pm with detailed address details and a hunger built up specifically with our mission in mind.

We stopped within walking distance, we guessed, of our destination, and watched the world go by while enjoying a cold drink. Observing the passing traffic is one of Bangkok’s delights, especially at dusk when the light coats everything with a little extra Oriental mystery. By 6:30 we’d gotten ourselves into the right state of mind, and figured we’d be safe finding a table before the rush later in the evening.

Two minutes later Jordan searched for the address details and realised they were gone, left at the bar or fallen on the street, but in any case gone. In Bangkok that’s not a good thing: it’s such a big city nobody really knows where anything is unless it’s important or big, and our destination was neither. Having got this close we didn’t feel like giving up, so we relied on Viator’s famous 24-hour Customer Service team to save the day: Jordan called Lindy in Sydney, she Googled “new york times thai restaurant” or something similar, and through the wonders of modern search technology and text messaging, we had the address about a minute later.

So far, so good.

But have you ever tried to find an address on foot in Bangkok by showing a text message to passing strangers?

Yep, it tasted as good as it looks

Fortunately all Thai kids learn English in school, and after some frustrating encounters we came across a family group that included the most precocious eight-year old in the city: she not only knew the street, she knew the restaurant, and couldn’t have been prouder showing up her big sister, who clearly hadn’t been paying attention in class.

The rest of the story is predictable: the restaurant, Chote Chitr (five tables, and the menu is in Thai), was every bit as good as the reviews. We followed the owner’s guidance and ordered all the good stuff. You know that thing about not believing everything you read in the papers? Forget that. The NY Times is 100% right.

So, here’s a thought: next time you see your dentist, ask him if he knows any good Thai restaurants. You may not be ready to move him to the other side of the world, but you can at least dream a little…

–Rod Cuthbert

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s things to do in Thailand, Bangkok tours and activities in Phuket.

Editor’s Note: Read the latest on the Optimistic Fools preparation for the 2008 Mongol Rally here. Viator is pleased to be a sponsor of the Optimistic Fools rally team, on their journey to complete the 2008 Mongol Rally from London to Ulan Bator, Mongolia. We’ll be checking in with the team over the next 6 months as they prepare for the 2008 Mongol Rally. The team will also blog for us as they make their way from London to Mongolia.

Do you sit in your car each morning — or on the bus, the train or tram — the sun not yet broken above the horizon and the sleep-dust still in the corners of your eyes, headed for a day in the office thinking, “why do I do this each and every day?”

The Optimistic Fools: Christoph Courth & Oliver Westgarth

If the answer is ‘yes’ then you are not alone. We all do, we all yearn for something else, something new to test ourselves and to make us feel alive again. For this very reason Oliver Westgarth and myself (Christoph Courth) have decided to take leave from the daily grind and take up the challenge of the ‘greatest adventure in the world’. As in, the Mongol Rally. Our team name: the Optimistic Fools.

Mongol Rally, Explained

Whilst sitting in a pub on a dark and dreary Sunday morning, head pounding preparing myself for another week at the office, a few friends including Ollie and I were nostalgically discussing past trips around the world. And our dreamlike adventures for the future, one of which being the Mongol Rally. The following day while downing my first cup of strong black coffee at my desk in my windowless office, I Googled the Mongol Rally website and found that the lottery to sign up for the rally was to open that very afternoon at 2. Come 2 o’clock, I excused myself from a meeting, ducked back into my office and quickly signed up for this awesome challenge. Three weeks later an email arrived in my inbox and the planning began.

Launching on the 18th of July 2008, 200 teams of ramshackle cars and bikes will convene in Hyde Park, London, ready to journey across both Europe and Asia, to meet up again, should luck and providence dictate, at the finishing line of the Mongol Rally in Ulan Bator, Mongolia. Now in its 5th year, this rally was founded not only for adventure but to help Mongolian charities such as Mercy Corps Mongolia and the Christina Noble Children’s Foundation through fund-raising and public awareness. Each team is required to raise a minimum of £1,000 which is donated to these designated charities; any extra raised by the teams can be given to a charity of choice.

Founded in Bristol, England, by the League of Adventurists International Limited, the inaugural rally rolled out of London in 2004, seeing 6 teams leave and 4 stumble across the finishing line. In 2005, 43 heaps of petrol-fuelled rust wooed the crowds in London, of which only 18 arrived intact in Ulan Bator. The 2006 Rally left the UK in July with 167 cars crossing the English Channel and 117 teams arriving in Mongolia. In 2007 the number of teams rose to 200 with only around 70% arriving at the finish line. Due to high demand, 2008 will again see the places limited to 200, however the real question remains; how many will survive the crossing?

Each year the Mongol Rally has gone from strength to strength, attracting adventure junkies and press coverage from across the globe. These modern day adventurers attempt to traverse the 8,000 - 10,000 miles in three to six weeks, crossing up to 16 different borders and two continents. Some teams even find that on arrival in Mongolia all they want to do is turn around and drive back or continue traveling into China or Russia. Those that return via plane or train donate their cars to the League of Adventurists who then pass them onto local charities.

Mongol Rally: Just a Bunch of Normal Disenfranchised Amateurs

Facing the unknown, the participants are mostly amateurs; just normal people disenfranchised with the humdrum drone of everyday life, yearning for something challenging to keep the innate restless beast at bay, if only for a short time. People from all backgrounds of all ages take part in this annual event; it was even chartered in the 2007 rally when Jack Osborne filmed his participation in a 1991 Fiat Panda for a television production.

This rally is by no means conventional for many reasons. First of all the cars must have an engine displacement of less than 1,000cc and bikes less than 125cc, which rules out all vehicles designed for such an epic voyage. Cars such as the Mini, the Renault 4, the Citroën 2cv and the Fiat 500 (and bikes such as the Yamaha RXS) are typical choices. However, exceptions to the above rule are considered “for vehicles of notable unusualness with high comedy value”; in fact the event organisers actually stipulate that the vehicle ‘must be generally considered to be crap’.

Secondly the participants have none of the comfort of support teams and have to cross the vast unpopulated areas of land, left only to their own devices. Thirdly there is no specified route, as each team can choose its own way from north through Russia to south through Turkey. And finally there is no prize for the winner; the sole golden trophy sought by the 200 contestants, is the golden cup of adventure.

Surprisingly so far, no one has been killed whilst attempting to complete this epic voyage. And my team mate and I sincerely hope not to change this astounding statistic. All routes are fraught with considerable danger and the very specification of the vehicles, with all odds stacked against them, makes for true adventure. Each year there are numerous accidents, muggings, hospitalisations and a worryingly high percentage of participants never even make it to Mongolia. (In fact the 2005 rally saw one team engaged, 3 people banned from Turkmenistan for a year, 2 teams robbed at knife point, 1 car snapped in half and another team cycling 200km to reach the finishing line after their car blew up.)

Mongol Rally: 3 Simple Rules

There are three basic rules to the rally. The first being the “on your own” rule that stipulates if you get into a ‘pickle’ you must fend for yourself. In fact prior to signing up for the challenge the organisers ask all participants to sign an agreement so that ‘you can’t sue our arses when you die’. Maybe it would have been more reassuring to use the word ‘if’ instead of ‘when’.

The second rule is the aforementioned ‘charity money rule’ whereby the participants must raise the £1,000 for the specified charities.

The third and final rule is the 1-litre car maximum. Aside from these the organisers note that participants ‘are free to sneak, bribe, cheat, connive and generally out-wit the world to get yourselves to the end’.

The widespread press coverage that this rapidly expanding rally attracts enables the participants to sell off space on the facade of their car to companies and organizations to emblazon with their logo. All money raised in this manner helps the ralliers to raise finances for their desired charities. For some companies however, sponsorship through material goods such as tents or tyres are preferable to money yet equally as important for the teams, some teams have even managed to get their vehicle donated.

So far, however, the Optimistic Fools have no car, no route and no funding as the application stage has only just come to a close. Designing the website, seeking sponsorship, finding a cheap or donated car and sourcing the route are all in their infant stages, but bit by bit this challenge, this life long dream, will become reality. To find out more about the ‘Optimistic Fools’ or to get involved in any way, keep watching the Viator website or visit www.mongolrally.com.

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