Weird & Wonderful

Editor’s Note: Jack is back. Well near a computer, anyway. It’s been a rough month for Jack after that wrong turn down in Queensland. Since then he’s been up and down and round and round, with more than a few tales to tell. Jack is in Berlin now. It’s unclear how he got there. And it’s equally unclear if the Australian passport authorities will ever let Jack come home again.

Black clothes? Check. Mowhawk? Check.

As you might expect, I’ve been a little down-on-my-luck lately. Had a fight with the missus, got turfed out on the street, and been a bit short on cash. I had to walk for a while, and well, even without a wallet full of pictures of the Queen, I managed to get around. I had this theory that, if you did it the right way, you could make your way without any money, but you’d have to do it with a particular style, y’know – flair.

But first, a point of order: I like a beer as much the next bloke, and I’ve had more than a few in my time, probably more than hot dinners, mainly because its hard to have six or more hot dinners straight after your first hot dinner. But beer? There’s always room for one more, and as they say, one for the road.

And if the road is where you are heading, probably just for a sleep or to meet some mates, who’s to say “no”? Even if it is well before midday and you don’t quite sound like you’re past last night. But if they’re only 60 cents, then chuck a couple of extra letters in “beer” and call that “breakfast”.

Now as far as that point of style goes, you may have noticed, except for some of the bands that tour nowadays, it’s not the 1970s anymore. And a *few* things have changed.

But the punks of Berlin seem to have that debonair way with cloth and hair that is like a passport to the world, and their story, well it’s sort of like a gutter and street-corner tour of the world. They care not for money, they care not for manners, hygiene and fine dentition. They care not for their packs of dogs of mixed breeding (except for the cute little scarfs they make them wear). One could learn a lot from these backpackers of the streets (strasse): travel light, don’t get thirsty and know all the things not to do and people not so see.

Berlin Punk: Some Background

The truth of the matter is, being punk in Berlin starts with an attitude, which is how the whole punk thing got started in the first place. Back in the glory days, the attitude came from your politics: social change, dissatisfaction with the way things were and nonviolent direct action. And like any decent cowboy of the streets, the way you dressed and how you lived showed your hard-fought politics, so there was something to it. I don’t usually judge a book by its cover, but these days in the punk section of life’s library, there is a lot more “poor me” whining, punk as fashion statement, and direct non-action than even a couple of years ago.

Berlin Punk: You Need a Dog

To have your passport to punk-backpacking success stamped and ready to go, you will need: that dog or two I mentioned before, some black clothes (ill-fitting is best), obligatory safety pins, hair in a mandatory mohawk (with or without colour and vertical ascension), boots, empty pockets and — to pull it altogether — a loping stride and downcast sneer. Got it? Now we need somewhere to go.

Berlin Punk: A Place to Loiter

Berlin Punk is Not Dead

Berlin’s Alexanderplatz must have been an amazing place for people to come together back in the day: a great hulking open space in the middle of a great booming city, old Soviet-style buildings dwarfing everything in the area. Imagine all the People coming to be comrades, to meet, to talk, to greet each other and spend some time, even in the depths of the cold Berlin winter; the harsh shapes of the buildings softened by the warmth of the people milling in the Platz. AND it features the amazing golf ball on a stick (Fernsehturm, or TV Tower). Makes a fella from the country just wonder and shake his head, because a place like this could eat 10 town squares for breakfast and still have room for more.

And there’s that word again, breakfast, makes my stomach rumble just running over the words in my mind and for good reason, too. Three things I’ve found in my few days in Germany - well Berlin, which is practically an island in the stream. These three things could practically pass for a national pasttime in these parts: Breakfast, Renovation and Bicycles. Of these three, breakfast is the punk-backpackers only domain. No house to renovate, no need for a bike (because you’ve got your feet, and they’ve got boots). So back to breakfast and Alexanderplatz, what could they have in common? Twenty of your mates, two dogs each and that beer we left waiting a couple of paragraphs ago. Now head down to the platz and get started!

Helps make friends, won’t help keep them

Another good place to hang out is at Kottbusser Tor U-bahn station, there’s always a party going on there — y’know just standing about and talking to drunks and their dogs. Just round the corner there is the Köpi, home of the regular Volkskuche (literally “people’s kitchen” or a place for cheap shared meals), punk bands on weekends and punks during the week (it smells the same any day).

Or there’s always the old favourite, Friedrichshain: plenty of space, the rent is still cheap but unfortunately most of the squats have been shut down so that leaves you with only take-away beers to drink at those great hangouts because the squat bars are nearly all gone. There is still the Fischladen though, and that will always live on.

Berlin Punk: Things Not To Do

Now, if you’ve got the hang of it and a few places to get started on your punk backpacker’s tour of Berlin you’ll need some things to do. We’ve already covered beer, drinking in public and hanging out with your dog. When out walking, if you need some space and someone is in the way, just push through (but ignore them as you do it). And remember if you are short of space, there is always more room on the bike-path or especially on the road.

If you need a steady course of income try begging, or bang away on a guitar tunelessly while your mate begs. Or maybe just a sign in front of you so you can fit in some quality staring-at-the-ground time, there’s never enough of that. Don’t forget not to smile. Smashing bottles is always good to fill the day (again, especialy on the bike path), as is shouting at the ruling class, they’re everywhere. You’ll know them because they’re the ones that don’t look like you.

–Jack Brown

Plannnig a trip? Browse Viator’s list of things to do in Berlin, Munich tours and what to do in Germany.

He’s not visiting there, or on vacation, or anything like that. No, my dentist lives there. He works in a wonderful, big, shiny and modern dental centre with lots of other dentists and nurses and hygienists, and all the other people and equipment you expect to see at the dentist.

I like him being there. Besides charging me about 80% less than what I’d pay for similar work in Sydney or San Francisco, I like the fact that he’s far enough away that he doesn’t call or email every few months about my next check-up or some other annoying “procedure.” No, he just waits patiently for me to transit through Bangkok on my way to or from Sydney. I am firmly in control of our relationship.

Deep in Bangkok, Jordan in Thai food heaven

And what a great place to have a dentist! As my colleague Jordan Digby — a Thailand resident — likes to say, Bangkok is a very fractal city. No matter how deep you go, there’s always another interesting pattern to be revealed. The guidebook is almost a distraction. The real action is… everywhere.

Visiting Bangkok last week to see one of our suppliers — and to drop in on Dr. Chat for a, well, a chat, I suppose — Jordan and I decided to venture deep into culinary Bangkok to sample a tiny restaurant that the New York Times has twice, over a period of 12 years, described in terms that would have their readers imagine it’s the “best of the best” Thai restaurants on our small blue planet. Having eaten some pretty good Thai food in our time, this was a claim we were interested in testing. We set off at 5pm with detailed address details and a hunger built up specifically with our mission in mind.

We stopped within walking distance, we guessed, of our destination, and watched the world go by while enjoying a cold drink. Observing the passing traffic is one of Bangkok’s delights, especially at dusk when the light coats everything with a little extra Oriental mystery. By 6:30 we’d gotten ourselves into the right state of mind, and figured we’d be safe finding a table before the rush later in the evening.

Two minutes later Jordan searched for the address details and realised they were gone, left at the bar or fallen on the street, but in any case gone. In Bangkok that’s not a good thing: it’s such a big city nobody really knows where anything is unless it’s important or big, and our destination was neither. Having got this close we didn’t feel like giving up, so we relied on Viator’s famous 24-hour Customer Service team to save the day: Jordan called Lindy in Sydney, she Googled “new york times thai restaurant” or something similar, and through the wonders of modern search technology and text messaging, we had the address about a minute later.

So far, so good.

But have you ever tried to find an address on foot in Bangkok by showing a text message to passing strangers?

Yep, it tasted as good as it looks

Fortunately all Thai kids learn English in school, and after some frustrating encounters we came across a family group that included the most precocious eight-year old in the city: she not only knew the street, she knew the restaurant, and couldn’t have been prouder showing up her big sister, who clearly hadn’t been paying attention in class.

The rest of the story is predictable: the restaurant, Chote Chitr (five tables, and the menu is in Thai), was every bit as good as the reviews. We followed the owner’s guidance and ordered all the good stuff. You know that thing about not believing everything you read in the papers? Forget that. The NY Times is 100% right.

So, here’s a thought: next time you see your dentist, ask him if he knows any good Thai restaurants. You may not be ready to move him to the other side of the world, but you can at least dream a little…

–Rod Cuthbert

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s things to do in Thailand, Bangkok tours and activities in Phuket.

Editor’s Note: Read the latest on the Optimistic Fools preparation for the 2008 Mongol Rally here. Viator is pleased to be a sponsor of the Optimistic Fools rally team, on their journey to complete the 2008 Mongol Rally from London to Ulan Bator, Mongolia. We’ll be checking in with the team over the next 6 months as they prepare for the 2008 Mongol Rally. The team will also blog for us as they make their way from London to Mongolia.

Do you sit in your car each morning — or on the bus, the train or tram — the sun not yet broken above the horizon and the sleep-dust still in the corners of your eyes, headed for a day in the office thinking, “why do I do this each and every day?”

The Optimistic Fools: Christoph Courth & Oliver Westgarth

If the answer is ‘yes’ then you are not alone. We all do, we all yearn for something else, something new to test ourselves and to make us feel alive again. For this very reason Oliver Westgarth and myself (Christoph Courth) have decided to take leave from the daily grind and take up the challenge of the ‘greatest adventure in the world’. As in, the Mongol Rally. Our team name: the Optimistic Fools.

Mongol Rally, Explained

Whilst sitting in a pub on a dark and dreary Sunday morning, head pounding preparing myself for another week at the office, a few friends including Ollie and I were nostalgically discussing past trips around the world. And our dreamlike adventures for the future, one of which being the Mongol Rally. The following day while downing my first cup of strong black coffee at my desk in my windowless office, I Googled the Mongol Rally website and found that the lottery to sign up for the rally was to open that very afternoon at 2. Come 2 o’clock, I excused myself from a meeting, ducked back into my office and quickly signed up for this awesome challenge. Three weeks later an email arrived in my inbox and the planning began.

Launching on the 18th of July 2008, 200 teams of ramshackle cars and bikes will convene in Hyde Park, London, ready to journey across both Europe and Asia, to meet up again, should luck and providence dictate, at the finishing line of the Mongol Rally in Ulan Bator, Mongolia. Now in its 5th year, this rally was founded not only for adventure but to help Mongolian charities such as Mercy Corps Mongolia and the Christina Noble Children’s Foundation through fund-raising and public awareness. Each team is required to raise a minimum of £1,000 which is donated to these designated charities; any extra raised by the teams can be given to a charity of choice.

Founded in Bristol, England, by the League of Adventurists International Limited, the inaugural rally rolled out of London in 2004, seeing 6 teams leave and 4 stumble across the finishing line. In 2005, 43 heaps of petrol-fuelled rust wooed the crowds in London, of which only 18 arrived intact in Ulan Bator. The 2006 Rally left the UK in July with 167 cars crossing the English Channel and 117 teams arriving in Mongolia. In 2007 the number of teams rose to 200 with only around 70% arriving at the finish line. Due to high demand, 2008 will again see the places limited to 200, however the real question remains; how many will survive the crossing?

Each year the Mongol Rally has gone from strength to strength, attracting adventure junkies and press coverage from across the globe. These modern day adventurers attempt to traverse the 8,000 - 10,000 miles in three to six weeks, crossing up to 16 different borders and two continents. Some teams even find that on arrival in Mongolia all they want to do is turn around and drive back or continue traveling into China or Russia. Those that return via plane or train donate their cars to the League of Adventurists who then pass them onto local charities.

Mongol Rally: Just a Bunch of Normal Disenfranchised Amateurs

Facing the unknown, the participants are mostly amateurs; just normal people disenfranchised with the humdrum drone of everyday life, yearning for something challenging to keep the innate restless beast at bay, if only for a short time. People from all backgrounds of all ages take part in this annual event; it was even chartered in the 2007 rally when Jack Osborne filmed his participation in a 1991 Fiat Panda for a television production.

This rally is by no means conventional for many reasons. First of all the cars must have an engine displacement of less than 1,000cc and bikes less than 125cc, which rules out all vehicles designed for such an epic voyage. Cars such as the Mini, the Renault 4, the Citroën 2cv and the Fiat 500 (and bikes such as the Yamaha RXS) are typical choices. However, exceptions to the above rule are considered “for vehicles of notable unusualness with high comedy value”; in fact the event organisers actually stipulate that the vehicle ‘must be generally considered to be crap’.

Secondly the participants have none of the comfort of support teams and have to cross the vast unpopulated areas of land, left only to their own devices. Thirdly there is no specified route, as each team can choose its own way from north through Russia to south through Turkey. And finally there is no prize for the winner; the sole golden trophy sought by the 200 contestants, is the golden cup of adventure.

Surprisingly so far, no one has been killed whilst attempting to complete this epic voyage. And my team mate and I sincerely hope not to change this astounding statistic. All routes are fraught with considerable danger and the very specification of the vehicles, with all odds stacked against them, makes for true adventure. Each year there are numerous accidents, muggings, hospitalisations and a worryingly high percentage of participants never even make it to Mongolia. (In fact the 2005 rally saw one team engaged, 3 people banned from Turkmenistan for a year, 2 teams robbed at knife point, 1 car snapped in half and another team cycling 200km to reach the finishing line after their car blew up.)

Mongol Rally: 3 Simple Rules

There are three basic rules to the rally. The first being the “on your own” rule that stipulates if you get into a ‘pickle’ you must fend for yourself. In fact prior to signing up for the challenge the organisers ask all participants to sign an agreement so that ‘you can’t sue our arses when you die’. Maybe it would have been more reassuring to use the word ‘if’ instead of ‘when’.

The second rule is the aforementioned ‘charity money rule’ whereby the participants must raise the £1,000 for the specified charities.

The third and final rule is the 1-litre car maximum. Aside from these the organisers note that participants ‘are free to sneak, bribe, cheat, connive and generally out-wit the world to get yourselves to the end’.

The widespread press coverage that this rapidly expanding rally attracts enables the participants to sell off space on the facade of their car to companies and organizations to emblazon with their logo. All money raised in this manner helps the ralliers to raise finances for their desired charities. For some companies however, sponsorship through material goods such as tents or tyres are preferable to money yet equally as important for the teams, some teams have even managed to get their vehicle donated.

So far, however, the Optimistic Fools have no car, no route and no funding as the application stage has only just come to a close. Designing the website, seeking sponsorship, finding a cheap or donated car and sourcing the route are all in their infant stages, but bit by bit this challenge, this life long dream, will become reality. To find out more about the ‘Optimistic Fools’ or to get involved in any way, keep watching the Viator website or visit www.mongolrally.com.

–Christoph Courth

Yes you read that right. River surfing in Munich.

I was browsing the latest travel videos on the Viator YouTube site, and I noticed a new video titled Munich River Surfing. So of course I hit ‘play’, and glad that I did.

I’ve been to Munich a dozen times and yet I’ve never, ever heard of surfing in Munich. But you know those Germans, they’re a funny people (both ha ha, and strange). So I guess it doesn’t surprise me too much that some clever people have found a way to surf in a city that is about 600 miles removed from the nearest ocean.

Chalk up another victory for German ingenuity.

The Eisbach and Floßlände, two natural standing-river waves, are where most of the action takes place. And this is no longer a mere hobby for land-locked German surfers looking for a quick river ride. Check out these photos of the 2005 Munich Surf Open. Trophies, sponsors, crowds of people cheering the surfers on, this looks like a sport that’s ready for prime time on ESPN.

–Scott McNeely

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s tours & things to do in Munich, Berlin and Germany. You can also browse photos of Munich over on the Viator Flickr site.

From the moment he discovered there is an Egyptian god called Amun-Ra, my husband Eamonn pronounced himself a god. The fact he is not an Egyptian living 4,000 years ago in the time of Pharoahs and Pyramids seems to be of little, if any relevance. The obvious spelling difference between Amun and Eamonn deemed unimportant, they sound enough alike so it seems that is enough! Our guide in Cairo was no help to me in dispelling this illusion, asking him “What does the great god Amun-Ra think of the mighty Pyramids?”.

Imagine his joy when a client gave him a particularly thoughtful Christmas present - a bottle of Amon-Ra Shiraz from the Barossa Valley. Even the label has a picture of the Eye of Horus, our favorite Egyptian symbol which is destined to appear as a tattoo in the near future. Just when I thought the delusions of grandeur were fading into a distant holiday memory they have been reignited by an obscure bottle of wine which sits like a shrine to be worshiped on our bar, I’m surprised I don’t have to bow to it when walking past.

It’s a sign if ever I saw one, I am married to the Egyptian god of gods, so it must be time to go back to Egypt again…

–Kerrie O’Mahony

Editor’s Note: Jack Brown has been pondering his New Year’s resolutions and revelations, and asked us to share his “Guide to Australian Cultural Iconography over the Holiday Period.” As always we’re happy to oblige Jack. Happy 2008 from the Viator team.

Resolution: Go to the Beach

Bells Beach, Great Ocean Road, Australia

Most fellas (men) and their sheilas (women) head to the beach on a hot New Year’s day. They all knock back a couple of tinnies (canned beer), not always over a barbie (barbecue), and most of them cone home red as a lobster. The choice is yours, be it on Bondi Beach in Sydney, with half the population of a country town; catching the surf at Bells Beach near Melbourne; having a quiet moment on the coast at 80-Mile Beach, where there’s bound to be enough room for everyone; or sipping coffee on the pier, like down St Kilda (Melbourne) or Tennyson to Glenelg (SA).

Revelation: Traffic

Getting out and about on New Year’s, most blokes drive too fast in Australia. So when too many cars go on the same road too quickly, they catch up to each other faster and things bank up a bit, causing a bit of jam. Invariably some of them let off a bit of steam, either with a bit of the horn or strange hand signals – when they’ve had enough, they go to the pub, or the beach.

Resolution: Footie & Cricket

Go to the Footie. And not that game where they kick the round ball. This is proper footie, where men are men and take big hits from other men. The tackles are huge, the scrums a good chance for a bit of man-grabbin’, and a good chance to have a bit of a shout and let off some steam from the week or even the rest of the year while the big fellas weave around on the Great Grass Paddock with their bit of pig skin going for gold.

See the Cricket. Like the bloke said before, the cricket season is on over the holidays. It’s something for those that like it a little slower than your average footie lover (but, mind you, they are not mutually exclusive). Good chance to slip in a beer, and a great way to see your mates.

Revelation: Meat Pies

The ideal nutritious snack, ready in minutes, or hand made straight from the pie warmer. Some say they’re like bits of gristle and string cooked in gravy and wrapped in pastry. But these people wouldn’t know a good day at the cricket or footie when they had one.

Resolution: The Great Outdoors

If outdoors is what you need, then grab a rod, some bait and sit still on a river bank. It’s like cricket without the changing innings, just the beer and the breeze. For some novelty why not jump in the tinnie and head upstream away from the hordes.

Or why not stretch the strides and take in some fresh air on a bushwalk? There’s certainly no lack of National Parks in Australia, there’s practically one within a stone’s throw of every city: Royal National Park south of Sydney, Leeuwin Naturaliste south of Perth, Brisbane Ranges and the Dandenongs west and east of Melbourne, Belair in the Adelaide Hills, Litchfield outside of Darwin, and half of Queensland and Tasmania are national parks just as they are!

Revelation: Work

Hang on, this is something you do some other time. Any bloke who calls you lazy around New Year’s is un-Australian and probably isn’t really a bloke.

Resolution: Time with the Missus

Some might think that this is a good time of year to travel. It’s also good for some time with the missus (nevermind it can interfere with watching the footie and beers with the mates). Maybe, a good alternative to the 4WD is getting out a DVD and watching something about travelling, or another country. Then you can maybe squeeze in a snuggle on the divan and you don’t need to worry if you will be back in time for beer with the mates.

Revelation: Beer

Something you do after lunch, or any other time you can get away with it, and well into the evening, usually with your mates, and sometimes at the beach. Anywhere is good for a beer, standing round the ute yakking away about your engine, on the verandah, and even down the pub. Ideal for parties and making friends with other fellas you can’t stand during the rest of the year.

Resolution: Skinny Dip in a Waterhole, Ride a Camel

Uluru Express Camel Ride, Australia

Wear what God gave you and enjoy a dip in one of hundreds of hidden aquatic gems. Just wander off the beaten track on the New South Wales‘ north coast and you’d practically trip over them if you don’t fall in first. Head out beyond the city fringes and there’s even thermal springs in the desert (Dalhousie is a must).

Or try riding a camel. If getting right out of town is what you need, have a quiet New Year’s under the stars with a six-foot humped companion to pass the party season.

Revelation: Stay Home

If all that palaver is too much and too far, and when all else fails, why not grab the Frisbee and head to the local park. Or if the Ship of the Desert is pushing things too far, why not opt for the Stallion of Steel and take off on a bicycle. It’s free, they depart regularly from your door, and there’s no shortage of destinations. Or head out and just do nothing on a hill top, in a valley, in the desert, on the coast… it’s not as if we’re starved of space over here in Australia.

Happy 2008.

–Jack Brown

You know how some things take on a life of their own? You never really know how they started or when, but they just evolve and become larger than life…

Welcome to the world of the Viator Hot Dog!

Now we’re not talking about that classic American iconic food (side note: the best ones I have ever had were from Tail o’ the Pup in Hollywood, which is sadly no longer) but a very strange and very weird hand sign. It’s almost become a rite of passage for Viatorians around the world!

Just like Matt Harding and his crazy dance, the ‘hot dog’ has traveled the world, been done by many a strange and colorful character and, of course, has been questioned by everyone! Personally I have had extremely quizzical looks from Homer Simpson, Mickey Mouse and Spiderman. I have assured each and everyone of them (in the 10 seconds you have to get your photo taken) that it is not rude and does not have any underlying satanic meaning, while also trying to explain how to do it! Not an easy task!! Luckily, my request has never been rejected.

So, how do you do the ‘hot dog’? Very simple really. Place your left palm up, slightly cupped. Turn it so it’s pointing to the right. With your right hand, wiggle your fingers vertically across your left palm.

But what of the origin of the ‘hot dog’? Should I spill the beans or perpetuate the legend?

Keep tuned – as more photos surface, we may just tell!! In the meantime check out these different galleries of ‘hot dog’ photos: Hot Dog with theme park characters, Hot Dog domestic, Hot Dog international.

–Jenny Crossling

Editor’s note: Feeling stuck finding that special something for Christmas this year? First have a look at our Holiday Gift Guide for Travelers. If that doesn’t sort you out Jack Brown has a few suggestions, if you dare. We take no responsibility for Jack and his Down Under sensibility.

Road-Kill Jerky, Camel Flavor

This is Jack here, why not try some Down Under, Outback, shrimp-on-the barbie, Aussie inspiration that will keep them coming back for more, or just plain confuse them. How about a…

• Kangaroo Paw Back-scratcher – Skip the customs declarations queues at your favourite airport and take home the gift that keep on giving. Hours of fun and relief with this strangely disembodied limb that brings a smile to even the itchiest of faces after a hearty Christmas feast.

• Create Personalised “Where the Hell Is…” Stickers. If you’ve been to Noonamah, Bonang or any number of places that don’t seem that far from anywhere but the locals really want to be remembered, then collect this set of wonderful stickers that say parochialism is only a hop, skip and a jump away.

• Build an Outback Espresso Maker. This one’s perfect for DIY types. Now that classic morning taste can be yours, just use the instant coffee mix supplied in your favourite espresso machine to make that rough, clean taste that could only come from complete mishandling of the ingredients and equipment at any remote roadhouse stop.

• Roadkill Jerky. Camel jerky, crocodile jerky, kangaroo jerky – carnivores will delight in the range of genuine outback animals that have been hit by 4WDs then carefully dried and preserved in this delicious culinary treat. All the salty goodness of your favourite billabong comes out in the tasteful crocodile jerky; all the rough, grumpy, chewy misanthropism of camels subtly emerges in said jerky; and the eyes wide-open stuck-in-the-headlights cuddliness of six-foot kangaroos can be yours in this great, nutritious snack.

• Make a Wombat Coffee Table. I’ve only ever seen one of these stubborn SUV-like animals once, unfortunately it was belly-up on the side of the road with its cute little stumpy legs also up in the air. Why not make this an ideal centrepiece for your lounge room or study, turning it right way up again to become a hairy little chair-side convenience with a cute little button nose that says “where there’s a will there’s a way”.

• Make Your Own “Crikey” T-shirt. Who could forget the inimitable Steve Irwin, outback hero and icon who went only where sense would fear to tread. Why not memorialise his confusing legacy with a shirt that says it all “Crikey!” – the ideal comment for any occasion. (“Crikey!, the relatives are here for Christmas lunch”, “Crikey! Is it time to go already?”) After all, if my grandfather can say it without a hint of irony after all these years then how could it not be a dinky-di expression of genuine surprise?

The Big Merino

• Big Merino Postcard set. One of Australia’s best and biggest of The Big roadside attractions, in fabulous Goulburn, has had a makeover as photos from the new and improved rear will attest!

• Horizon Measurer. Is this really the end of the Earth? Check your position relative to the Back of Bourke with this handy pocket tester, shows you exactly how far it is to the middle of nowhere

• Op Shop Passport. Remember your favourite Outback shopping retreats with this handy passport you can have stamped at every location as you search for cheap second-hand goods around this Great Brown Land of Ours.

• Create a “Drought Relief” Package. Make yourself an Outback Akubra complete with corks to keep away the increasing number of flies, a jar to collect rain should it ever fall and a can of Fosters beer that will keep for months in the advent of thirst because no one really drinks that stuff anyway.

• “Fruit fly Exclusion Zone” Christmas Hamper. Why not make the most of those little roadside stops that tell you to deposit all your fruit to avoid transmission of fruit fly into the “Exclusion Zone”? Get a nutritious collection of Australia’s best and fresh pickled produce in this diverse assortment of recovered goodies. Beautifully packaged and great for the family!

The Kangaroo Pouch Money Purse

• Outback Pub Finder. It’s a cunning combination of an infra-red locator (to measure people clumping together) and humidity detector (to show where the beer flows), this sporty little number will let you know how far you have to go to find the next outback Oasis.

• Souvenir Pavlova Recipe Tea Towel. This timeless Australian recipe combining too much sugar with other foodstuffs to hold all the sugar together printed on a delightful towel that’s also great for wiping the baking tray after the cooking ceremony! Found widely around Australia (see op shops).

• Desert Santa snow Dome. Santa might be able to travel the globe in a night, but he’ll be able to stay in the red centre for ever with the addition of this wonderful toy to your mantelpiece. Just turn and shake – see Santa bake in a feathery snowfall in the arid outback.

• Kangaroo “Pouch” Money Purse. As we all know kangaroo “girls” have a pouch in which they suckle their young, and Kangaroo “boys”, well they have a little pocket where they keep their chestnuts roasting. Tastefully dried and tanned this Kangaroo “boys’” best friend can keep your loose change toasty and ready for your next Christmas purchase.

Happy holidays, don’t blame me if you end up on Santa’s naughty list.

–Jack Brown

Editor’s Note: I originally posted this back in April. Since then I’ve received numerous replies and emails about it. Some people have complained I am a snob. Others think I am being too judgmental. Some agree I’ve hit the nail on the head with my rant about the Ulles, the book, the TV show, and the cultural mediocrity it all represents.

Whatever your opinion, I am adding this preface and reposting because I have a question for you. Week in and week out, this post is one of the most searched for on our blog. Hundreds of people Google ‘1,000 places to see before you die’ and they end up here. And thus I am curious: when you type that search term in Google, what are you actually looking for? Are you simply hunting for a pre-packaged marketing concept broadcast over on the Travel Channel? (If so, I assume you haven’t made it even this far into the post…)

Or are you looking for actual, unbiased, honest-to-goodness travel inspiration? If so, let me make a humble suggestion: Skip the ‘1,000 Places to See Before You Die’ book, television show, T-shirt, DVD, podcast or whatever. Just go. That’s always the best advice. Just pick a destination and go. And as always, leave me a comment telling me what a snob I am, how wrong am I, how right I am.

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If only we had made it to Timbuktu…

Once upon a time I was excited by the concept of ‘1,000 places to see before I die’. As a lifelong traveler, the idea of visiting a thousand of the world’s most exotic, far-flung and inspiring destinations before — what’s the right word here, perishing? kicking the bucket? fading to black? — felt like something I had to do. Success was not to be judged on actually accomplishing this goal, but in the effort spent trying.

And the effort would be daunting. Assuming you can tackle 1 ‘must-see’ destination per week, you’ll need to set aside nearly 20 years to visit all 1,000 locations. On a budget of $25 per day, those 20 years will cost $182,500. If I adjust for inflation, well, we’re talking some serious cash.

But that’s part and parcel of the concept’s power. To actually visit all 1,000 places requires Commitment (note the capital C). It requires sacrifice. It is not something for weekend warriors or mere armchair travelers.

And then a few years ago I discovered a book called 1,000 Places to See Before You Die. My first reaction was annoyance. I was annoyed that somebody had actually written a book about the concept, thereby sucking the authenticity out of it by transforming the noble idea into a crass commercial project with a bottom line and a marketing plan.

I was equally annoyed that it wasn’t me who had the foresight to suck the authenticity out of the concept, by transforming it into a book with a bottom line and a marketing plan…

Clearly I had been scooped. But who was the author? Was she in the model of Tony Wheeler, the legendary founder of Lonely Planet and a man who knows travel? (Pardon this brief detour: Check out Tony’s new book, Bad Lands, an account of his travels in George W. Bush’s so-called ‘axis of evil’, Iraq, North Korea and Iran. Now that’s a travel book!)

The author is Patricia Schultz. I’ve never met Patricia. But I’m certain she is a lovely person. She is a freelance travel and fashion writer based in New York City. And as a one-time freelancer based in New York myself, I can recognize Patricia’s project for what it is: a great idea written by somebody who was at the right place, at the right time.

Don’t get me wrong. I think the concept is 100% compelling. And I think some of Patricia’s recommendations — a hot-air balloon ride over the plains of Kenya, the Pushkar camel fair in India, etc — are spot on.

I just wish the book had been written by a road-weary traveler who has spent — sacrificed, struggled through — 20 years personally tracking down each and every one of these ‘must see’ sites. I suspect that our New York City-based fashion and travel writer has not personally visited more than, say, 50 of the 1,000 places she writes about. I’m happy to be proven wrong. (If she has visited more than 200, I will eat a hat. If she’s ticked off more than 500 on the list I will personally carry her bags and cook her meals on her next trek in Nepal.)

Normally I don’t get this worked up. However a few weeks ago I started seeing television commercials — and billboards and magazine ads — about a new show on the Travel Channel called ‘1,000 Places to See Before You Die‘. The advertisements were omnipresent. They were slick. And they did a good job getting me excited about the show’s USA premiere last month. So I surfed the Travel Channel website and found this:

“Inspired by Patricia Schultz’s best-selling travel book, ‘1,000 Places to See Before You Die’ chronicles the journey of a young couple who put their lives on hold to travel the world for 14 weeks.

Albin and Melanie Ulle, newlyweds from Colorado, experience the vast beauty and diverse cultures of 13 amazing countries and approximately 100 of the 1,000 Places from the book, while unearthing all the local charms and traditions along the way!”

Hang on a second. I was expecting some life-changing description. I was expecting the Travel Channel to throw resources at this idea and to create the definitive television travel experience. Maybe my expectations were unrealistically high. But I can tell you I was not expecting “a young couple who put their lives on hold to travel the world for 14 weeks.”

Fourteen weeks? Are you serious? 14 weeks? That’s barely three months. Was this TV show really about a newly married couple who travel the world for 14 weeks? Because in most parts of the world these are called ‘honeymoons’ and they don’t usually end up on television.

I know of a dozen people out there, on the road right now, who are better qualified to lead armchair travelers on a journey to the world’s top 1,000 sites. How is it that the producers of the show don’t bother to include some authentic travelers into the mix?

The answers — that character-led programming is what drives television ratings, that this couple beat out 900 other couples in the auditions because telegenic good looks are more important than actual travel experience, that nobody really cares if the backstory is coherent as long as the program makes money — are no surprise.

The problem, of course, is that a show about real travelers, going to real places, would not make money. Alas, this is why I am not a television executive. Yet I am a traveler. I have authored a dozen travel books and visited more than 50 countries. I am not bragging. I am just saying I can tell the difference between travelers and tourists.

And on the road leading to the world’s 1,000 must-see places, the Ulles from Colorado are merely tourists. There’s nothing wrong with that. The world needs tourists. But I wish the producers had shown us the real travelers they met along the way. In doing so they would have created a compelling television program that lives up to the promise of its concept. Instead we get ‘travel lite’ with too many commercials.

–Scott McNeely

Sad but true, most days the internet bores me. Too many dull sites, too much spam, too little good writing.

But then sometimes, out of nowhere, the web gives you a one-two knockout punch of happiness. Today is such a day.

The reason? Here’s the long-story-short version. My wife likes to cook as much as possible for our 20-month-old son. And she found a blog dedicated to some very cool food for toddlers, called lunchinabox.

The pictures of homemade bento boxes are little packets of happy-happy food joy to me. Each one makes me feel at peace with the world. Knowing that “Biggie” is home making such carefully crafted lunches for her three-year-old preschooler, well, like I said, it makes me feel at peace with the world, my troubles and problems and deadlines be damned!

The story could end here, but it doesn’t. See, not only are these bento boxes incredibly smart ideas for toddlers, they are also a brilliant idea for TRAVELERS! You heard me, travelers.

The next time I fly, I will follow one of these simple recipes and make myself a DIY in-flight bento box meal. Chicken or fish? No way, give me an English Muffin bento box every time! Or a spinach tamagoyaki bento box. This will revolutionize my in-flight dining experiences.

And my seat-mates are going to be incredibly jealous when they catch a glimpse of my travel bento box. Doubly so if that seat-mate is my 20-month-old son…

–Scott McNeely