Editor’s note: This is the second in a series of articles about Darwin, Alice and the quirkiness that is the Northern Territory of Australia by Jack Brown. You can read Jack’s first post here.

Those first few miles south of the Berrimah Line are pretty packed with things to be and places to do. Now we’re clear of such obstacles to driving progress we can take the pace back a notch. Wending our way south, Hayes Creek marks the first point where the landscape really stands up and does anything since leaving Darwin – that is beyond just lazing around and occasionally undulating in an effort to try and pass for “not flat” over that first 140kms. The Hayes Creek Wayside Inn is situated opposite a grand escarpment that does nice things to the eyes after so much horizon and the tucker (food) is not bad either, as is a banter with the old chap often found at the bar sporting the white beard down past his nipples (a proper beard).

A tropical oasis is better than gold outside Pine Creek

The Emerald Springs roadside stop is perhaps worth a mention, if only for what it once was. Closed now — its liquor licence suspended — it was once a watering hole (pub) that laughed at vegetarians and was part of the frontier mentality of the north. Rumours say that there were larger forces at work to stop its activities, but now its’ just a spot for trucks to pull off the road in safety - another iconic spot to fall by the wayside.

A little further down the track, Pine Creek offers unparalleled wonders for the intrepid and persistent. This collection of the rare and unusual is home to the Lazy Lizard campground (the sign is one of the true outback artworks) as well as the palatial nature conservation area/wetlands (a flooded gold mining tailings dam), the lake recreation area (a former mine pit – 135 scenic metres deep) and the town Water Gardens (a tap left on which has run kinda dry). The pub itself is anthropological gold with patrons known to throw meat pies into the fans on closing time. My mate lives in Pine Creek and for some reason I reckon he’s a lucky bugger and a brave man at the same time. Umbrawarra Gorge is well worthy a guernsy (look) on the way south – top spot for a bit of kick-back-and-relax in the bush, though access is not so great in either side of the wet season (October to April roughly).

The Katherine Regional Times office underwater

It’s hard for me to be too objective about Katherine since I lived there and felt its slow, hot bite over a wet season (43 Celsius and over 90% humidity), but its nice enough if you’re passing through. The locals like to believe they are hard done by (insert plethora of reasons here) and there’s nothing like a natural disaster to bring out a smile - because then they can say life is truly hard. The town has been moved three times in 100 years and as it sits right on a river, at the lowest point of a basin covering a sincerely large catchment area, the town is prone to the odd flood. The most recent of these was last year, but that wasn’t as bad as the 1998 flood that saw the river peak at 21 metres deep (its usually one metre deep in the dry season) and flooded the main street completely. When the place did dry out, a crocodile was even found in a meat freezer in the supermarket. When dry, Katherine is a quick and convenient spot to refuel and visit Katherine Gorge (stunning) or divert west on the road to Western Australia (big). The bat huge bat population that lives along the river is a hoot (funny) – sounding like a pack of overexcited bonsai dogs on helium in a game show audience. I do a good impersonation – ask anyone.

The other natural wonder of the Katherine area is the foul piece of pestilence known as the cane toad – a creature whose bad manners and poor complexion would have you preferring to invite an army of cockroaches over for dinner. These specimens of decrepitude are often found conducting secret midnight meetings beneath street lights or lying belly up in the gutters following a short friendship with a car’s willing front wheel. They make an excellent popping noise when rubber hits amphibian flesh.

Foul pestilence otherwise known as the cane toad

Next in line, Mataranka is a town way beyond REM in the sleepy stakes. Managing the usual NT blend of slightly racist and expensive, there’s a twinkling of joy to be had at the Bitter Springs at the north end of town: on a full moon, a short bushwalk and swim in the clear blue waters manage to break the drive beautifully. Not to be confused with the Thermal Pools at the homestead at the southern end, referred to by locals as the spermal pools, due to the proclivity for “get to know you action” that often occurs late at night in the warm waters. Avoid this concreted tourist trap. Say hello to open road.

Larrimah marks the first third of the way from Darwin to Alice Springs and is a laugh and a half. If you didn’t fuel up at Katherine then the gentleman with the “wrong” kind of tattoos up to his chin, keeping a watchful eye on the chickens clucking among the petrol bowsers, will tell you with a kind of righteous pride – “No fuel in Larrimah”. Despite the fact that there appears to be two petrol stations and that one still has the price per litre displayed out the front, he has indeed seen to it that there is no fuel. I didn’t trouble him for a name, but this modern day highwayman claims to own both stations and has stopped selling fuel at both, possibly because it caused too much distress to the chickens. I am told a little way up the track that “they’ve run into financial problems.”

The “Green Park” roadside stop was also formerly home to the only saltwater crocodile I ever saw (an unhappy looking specimen in a cage out the back scarcely longer than its own body) and is also a fine vantage point for watching the small civil feud that has absorbed most of this town’s 14 inhabitants. A manifestation of this quiet war can be seen in the signs - one end of the town claims to sell the best homemade pies in town (she took them out of the freezer and their wrappers and put them into the pie-warmer herself, she did – duly qualifying for homemade) and so of course does the little shop at the town’s opposing end. A rewarding stop for the brave, with a lot of time, in search of an outback yarn if ever there was one.

One thing that hasn’t changed much over the years is the Larrimah Hotel, which manages to stay full even when many of the owners of cars hauling caravans stand and scratch their heads while pondering the petrol situation. The Larrimah Hotel sits by the historical museum - the town once marked the end of the rail line that carried supplies during that “damned war” in the 1940s, back when the place was known as Birdum (often managing a mention, for some reason, on world maps). Don’t expect the train to come anytime soon – best to be on your way this century…

–Jack Brown

If you missed Jack’s first installment of Darwin to Alice by road, you can read it here. Planning a trip? Browse all of Viator’s Darwin tours and things to do in Alice Springs.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 10th, 2007 at 8:00 am and is filed under Australia & Pacific, Destinations, Suggested Itineraries, Travel Inspiration, Weird & Wonderful. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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