Editor’s Note: Jack Brown has been pondering his New Year’s resolutions and revelations, and asked us to share his “Guide to Australian Cultural Iconography over the Holiday Period.” As always we’re happy to oblige Jack. Happy 2008 from the Viator team.

Resolution: Go to the Beach

Bells Beach, Great Ocean Road, Australia

Most fellas (men) and their sheilas (women) head to the beach on a hot New Year’s day. They all knock back a couple of tinnies (canned beer), not always over a barbie (barbecue), and most of them cone home red as a lobster. The choice is yours, be it on Bondi Beach in Sydney, with half the population of a country town; catching the surf at Bells Beach near Melbourne; having a quiet moment on the coast at 80-Mile Beach, where there’s bound to be enough room for everyone; or sipping coffee on the pier, like down St Kilda (Melbourne) or Tennyson to Glenelg (SA).

Revelation: Traffic

Getting out and about on New Year’s, most blokes drive too fast in Australia. So when too many cars go on the same road too quickly, they catch up to each other faster and things bank up a bit, causing a bit of jam. Invariably some of them let off a bit of steam, either with a bit of the horn or strange hand signals – when they’ve had enough, they go to the pub, or the beach.

Resolution: Footie & Cricket

Go to the Footie. And not that game where they kick the round ball. This is proper footie, where men are men and take big hits from other men. The tackles are huge, the scrums a good chance for a bit of man-grabbin’, and a good chance to have a bit of a shout and let off some steam from the week or even the rest of the year while the big fellas weave around on the Great Grass Paddock with their bit of pig skin going for gold.

See the Cricket. Like the bloke said before, the cricket season is on over the holidays. It’s something for those that like it a little slower than your average footie lover (but, mind you, they are not mutually exclusive). Good chance to slip in a beer, and a great way to see your mates.

Revelation: Meat Pies

The ideal nutritious snack, ready in minutes, or hand made straight from the pie warmer. Some say they’re like bits of gristle and string cooked in gravy and wrapped in pastry. But these people wouldn’t know a good day at the cricket or footie when they had one.

Resolution: The Great Outdoors

If outdoors is what you need, then grab a rod, some bait and sit still on a river bank. It’s like cricket without the changing innings, just the beer and the breeze. For some novelty why not jump in the tinnie and head upstream away from the hordes.

Or why not stretch the strides and take in some fresh air on a bushwalk? There’s certainly no lack of National Parks in Australia, there’s practically one within a stone’s throw of every city: Royal National Park south of Sydney, Leeuwin Naturaliste south of Perth, Brisbane Ranges and the Dandenongs west and east of Melbourne, Belair in the Adelaide Hills, Litchfield outside of Darwin, and half of Queensland and Tasmania are national parks just as they are!

Revelation: Work

Hang on, this is something you do some other time. Any bloke who calls you lazy around New Year’s is un-Australian and probably isn’t really a bloke.

Resolution: Time with the Missus

Some might think that this is a good time of year to travel. It’s also good for some time with the missus (nevermind it can interfere with watching the footie and beers with the mates). Maybe, a good alternative to the 4WD is getting out a DVD and watching something about travelling, or another country. Then you can maybe squeeze in a snuggle on the divan and you don’t need to worry if you will be back in time for beer with the mates.

Revelation: Beer

Something you do after lunch, or any other time you can get away with it, and well into the evening, usually with your mates, and sometimes at the beach. Anywhere is good for a beer, standing round the ute yakking away about your engine, on the verandah, and even down the pub. Ideal for parties and making friends with other fellas you can’t stand during the rest of the year.

Resolution: Skinny Dip in a Waterhole, Ride a Camel

Uluru Express Camel Ride, Australia

Wear what God gave you and enjoy a dip in one of hundreds of hidden aquatic gems. Just wander off the beaten track on the New South Wales‘ north coast and you’d practically trip over them if you don’t fall in first. Head out beyond the city fringes and there’s even thermal springs in the desert (Dalhousie is a must).

Or try riding a camel. If getting right out of town is what you need, have a quiet New Year’s under the stars with a six-foot humped companion to pass the party season.

Revelation: Stay Home

If all that palaver is too much and too far, and when all else fails, why not grab the Frisbee and head to the local park. Or if the Ship of the Desert is pushing things too far, why not opt for the Stallion of Steel and take off on a bicycle. It’s free, they depart regularly from your door, and there’s no shortage of destinations. Or head out and just do nothing on a hill top, in a valley, in the desert, on the coast… it’s not as if we’re starved of space over here in Australia.

Happy 2008.

–Jack Brown

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 1st, 2008 at 12:01 am and is filed under Australia & Pacific, Destinations, Travel Inspiration, Weird & Wonderful. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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