What with all this talk about Las Vegas and deserts on these pages, I thought I shouldn’t be outdone and have decided to weigh in with my a bit of Outback kiss and tell — casino style, mind you. The only other casino in the desert that I’ve ever seen — well, the only other one since when I married my third wife on that shaky morning in Las Vegas before the only transvestite Elvis impersonator we could find at 3am on a Sunday — is the Lasseters Hotel Casino in none other than sunny Alice Springs.

No fear & loathing here, mate

Lasseter himself was a mad enough wanderer of the desert as he was, never known to impersonate Elvis, but to name a casino after him is bordering on a whole new kind of madness. Rumour has it that the sun-parched and heat-fatigued explorer happened upon a reef of purest gold out there in the Central Desert one fine day, only problem was he forgot exactly which cave he found it in. To this day hapless explorer-types and prospectors tarry for nought out there to repeat his lucky find. Suffice to say that not even his descendants have managed to repeat his trick, wherever it may be.

Which is not to say that you couldn’t manage some luck of your own in his namesake casino out on the lower east side of Alice Springs down near the Heavitree Gap. It’s a modern complex so there’s not space to tether your camel out front, but as with every casino the carpet is sure to entertain you enough should the free-running of your camel on the forecourt prove an inconvenience.

Like Lasseter, too, weary from the sun and deranged by the heat, you can wander in from the desert’s red sands to a windowless interior which knows not Time’s name, where you can while away the hours and perhaps enjoy that other benefit of a small town – running into similarly bereft fellow small-towners enjoying a run of luck, or more likely down on their’s too. Feel free to drown your sorrows at the bar with these surprise cameo travellers, but like all drinkers you’ll soon find that sorrows can swim too.

The high-roller bar is where the action’s at, and that’s not so much if you’re up for a gamble but more for a stylin’ night out. With enough glass surfaces and electric lighting to rival Koyaanisqatsi for over-awing surroundings (not to mention leather lounges too!) this little patch of paradise will have you reaching for the Cocktail List and ready to kick back and regale yourself with stories of how the outback was won and lost all in an afternoon. Some years ago we passed a happy eve in this place, dressed in our finest three piece suits to celebrate a fellow small-towner’s birthday, only the dreadlocks of my mate belying our true roots. Word got around and some weeks later I found out from an opportunity–shop friendly mate that worked at Lasseters, that the staff mistook us for over-paid drug dealers on a night out. And who’s to argue with that?

Midnight Oil, the former legendary superstars of Oz-Rock, once played on the lawns before the Alice Casino to celebrate its 21st Birthday – a gift from the Lasseter people to the town itself. Everybody turned out and a mighty time was had. The man that now calls himself the Australian Government’s Minister for the Environment (Peter Garrett) flung himself around on the stage for one of the last times before the band disbanded. A ripper time was had by one and all which goes to show the Outback’s not without its culture, and after the bash we all headed inside to have a gambol.

Tether your camel out front, then hit the slots

At the other end of the Territory there’s a Casino too — Sky City — and if you line the palm trees up just right as you walk up to its neon lit doors you could almost swear the letters they block could leave it spelling “Scarcity”. Like all great venues that are happy to accept all manner of clientele, as long as you can stand – you can come in. If you stagger a little then they’ll probably help you stand straight to get in the doors, long as you don’t blaspheme or spit.

Located right next to the famous Mindil Beach Markets, one of the northern shores’ biggest weekly markets with all things tropical and great food t’boot, Sky City is more than just a casino. In the dry season - which looking out at the clear horizon and lack of thunderclouds and cyclones means its starting just about now – the casino hosts some of the finest national and even international jazz out the back on a stage that makes Band Aid and Live8 look like they were just pub gigs. Just another reason to pull out that suit and make like a rich person again, drink a little plonk and get all Ocean’s Eleven out on the lawns with a little sunset and smooth tunes on the side. You, too, can lead the highlife just in time to get home for a barbeque and kangaroo steak and a coupla tropical strength beers.

–Jack Brown

Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Alice Springs tours, things to do in the Australian Outback and — if you’re ready for a 3am Elvis wedding — Las Vegas tours, baby!

This entry was posted on Friday, May 2nd, 2008 at 12:15 am and is filed under Australia & Pacific, Destinations, Travel Inspiration, Weird & Wonderful. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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