It’s a cold late-winter Tuesday in Melbourne and I’m standing on a tramstop under the glare of the Casino’s neon. A brown shelter keeps the rain off but not the bitter wind out. Trams rattle past ferrying commuters home from work. A crowd builds. Then, out of the fading light comes a glow of soft light. It’s here: Melbourne’s Colonial Tramcar Restaurant.
It’s an old W-class tram, painted burgundy (not the traditional green) and festooned with lights around the door, like the mirror of a faded star. It glides to a stop in front of us.
Remembrance of trams past
Let me tell you right now that I am a born and bred Melbourne girl. I grew up with trams. I caught a clanky, jerking W-class tram to and from school everyday. And along with a lot of others, I’ve watched sadly as Melbourne experiments with different shapes and sizes of more modern, smoother, big trams. The boxy shape of the W-class is the one in photos, on keyrings and T-shirts. It’s beloved of locals and tourists alike. No smooth, heated, modern ride can take its place in our hearts.
Melbourne's restaurant trams about to pick us up for dinner
And don’t even get me started on the days when trams had conductors; I might cry a gentle tear in memory of the guy we called Frenchie: balding, grinning, accented (almost certainly not French but we were kids). He could twirl his hat around two fingers and always had a joke for the hoards of school kids besieging his tram. Then there was the conductor who overheard a gang of boys telling a racist joke: she pulled the emergency cord, delivered a lecture, and threw them out onto the street. Those were the days.
For a while, there was even a Painted Trams programme when prominent local artists decorated trams top to bottom. Moving art on the streets. Fabulous. Only in Melbourne would people say: ‘I caught the Jon Cattapan to work this morning.’ Or: ‘I crashed my car into the Mirka Mora – wrote it off but Mirka’s painting hardly had a scratch.’
Food on a tram? Quel moderne
But trams were never a place to eat. A chocolate bar perhaps. Cola and a meat pie on the way home from the football maybe. But sirloin steak? Wine? Unheard of. Until 1983 when the first Tramcar Restaurant hit the rails.
Now there are three trams with kitchens trundling around Melbourne, three times a day: lunch; early dinner (pre-theatre), and a later, longer dinner. Visitors to Melbourne flock to it – see the sights while having a meal and a glass of champagne? Genius. It’s taking the locals a little longer to catch on.
In Melbourne to visit my family, I had to work hard to persuade my sisters to consider the idea. My friends flatly refused: it’s just not the done thing as a city resident; trams are for getting from A to B, not ridden for pleasure but only out of necessity. Big mistake.
Finally, with sisters in tow…
My sisters and I huddled in our coats on windy Tramstop #125 as two restaurant trams came into view. The maitre d’ helped us board: the step up is quite steep (it’s even harder stepping down full of food and wine, trust me), showed us to our table and poured the champagne.
The interior is rich and gold. Little lamps, tasselled curtains, white table clothes and shiny silverware; a far cry from the trip to school.
Inside the tram restaurant, looking out over the Yarra River
But the thing that made us happiest was the couple seated across the aisle from our table of four. We’d noticed them at the stop: he was perfect in his suit, she had on a flippy little cocktail dress in white. Immediately we decided tonight was the night: he was going to propose. And now we were seated in prime position to hear her answer. We sipped our champagne and prepared for the romance to unfold.
We were doing the early sitting of dinner so the menu was three courses: bread and dips appetisers, steak or chicken main, white chocolate and passionfruit mousse or sticky date pudding dessert. Not hugely adventurous but they’re cooking on a tram so that’s forgiven. (The later dinner is five courses, lunch is four.)
Smooth as silk, tram-jam free
Having learnt early in life how to stand without falling over as a W-class tram bucked and braked, we were all stunned by how smooth the ride was. I know they have equipped the trams with extra suspension but they’ve also apparently recruited the most talented drivers. In fact a friend of mine confessed that when she was driving trams, she applied several times to drive the restaurant and was deemed ‘not smooth enough’.
Inside the tram restaurant
The other strong memory of standard tram travel is tram jams – getting stuck in a line of trams caught by peak hour traffic or a car turning right. The restaurant tram is carefully routed so it avoids the worst snarls, travelling mainly down roads with a designated tram lane, and seems to have been timetabled to not have to stop constantly behind the normal commuter vehicles. I have almost no memory of us stopping – except for traffic lights, or to turn around. And we departed and arrived on the minute scheduled – now, why can’t they run the whole public transport system this well?
Our route began by heading past the Casino across the Yarra River to the edge of the city. As day faded into evening, we saw the city lights twinkle, bridges and boats. Then we turned around and headed through one of Melbourne’s oldest suburbs, South Melbourne, with its grand old Victorian terrace houses and a pub on every corner.
Turning around is one of the tricks of the tram restaurant. Melbourne trams can be driven from either end. While trams around Europe swing around a huge looping track to go back the other way, their driver staying put in his chair, Melbourne trams stop in the middle of the road, the driver leaps out carrying his driving handle, runs the length of the tram, hops in the cabin at the other end, and starts driving back the way they came. What this means for diners on the restaurant tram is that it doesn’t matter which side of the table you sit – half the time you’re facing forward, and half the time you’re looking at where you’ve just been.
The food? Mostly delicious
The pate and dip for appetisers were delicious, and the champagne slipped down very well as we sat warmly behind one-way glass watching the less cosseted struggle home in the wind. Our orders were taken and the main course arrived quickly. Clearly most of the food is pre-prepared and just heated for serving on the tram. I had a vegetarian meal which was alright but nothing special, my sister-in-law had chicken which she said was a little tough, but both my sisters had steak and said it was absolutely delicious. The menu is limited and I think the trick is to choose what needs to be cooked on the spot, like steak. They were also really impressed by the local wines included in the price.
By now we were heading through St Kilda, Melbourne’s historic and quirky seaside suburb. It was dark and lights twinkled on the water of Port Phillip Bay while closer at hand people hurried to restaurants and cake shops in famous Acland Street. We stopped, the driver ran past the window, and we headed back, past theatres, and the laughing mouth of Luna Park, towards the city.
Dessert came quickly – the first dinner sitting runs to a fairly tight schedule – and the sticky date pudding was delicious. Perfect for a stormy night. My sister said the chocolate mousse could have been better. Then coffee and tea – urn not espresso machine - and yummy chocolates and liqueurs, also included in the price. They even had my favourite: Frangelico. Very happy.
Back home and pleasantly surprised
When the meal was finished, the waiter came and gave us each a flower to take home – a nice touch. Except it was a carnation: Australia has great native flowers and one of those might have been more interesting. Although, Australian flora can be a little too interesting: big, spiky, spooky. I can sort of see why they chose the carnations.
Off the tram and back on Tramstop #125, we looked at each other in surprise. It was like we’d been transported to a different world. On the tram, we’d been warm, eaten well, drunk richly, watched the world go by; now we were back in it. I could have stayed on the tram another few hours. Perhaps even remained for breakfast.
And as to the couple opposite… Well, just before dessert came, he pulled out a small wrapped box and gave it to her. She blushed and he waited. She opened it. Kissed him. We got ready to congratulate. Until we saw that it was earrings. And that she was already wearing a wedding ring. And so, thankfully, was he.
Only a birthday then. Oh well. But hey, I still got to drink champagne on a tram: never did that going to school!
-Philippa Burne
Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s Melbourne tours & things to do in Melbourne, including the Colonial Tram Restaurant. You can also read reviews of the Melbourne tram restaurant and browse photos of the Melbourne tram restaurant over on the Viator site.
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