“Sold Out” – A Love Story Not Meant to Be

September 23, 2007 by

Europe, Musings from Viator's Founder, Places to Go, Travel Advice & Inspiration

Editor’s note: Rod Cuthbert (a.k.a. Viator’s Founder and Chairman) is working on a screenplay. If you’re a Hollywood agent looking for a ‘sure thing’, leave Rod a comment and his people will call your people.

Moulin Rouge tours and tickets, shows

“SOLD OUT”

A Love Story Not Meant to Be

By Rod Cuthbert

FADE IN: ACT 1, SCENE 1

INT. SUBURBAN AMERICAN HOME – DAY

MAN FLIPS THROUGH PARIS GUIDEBOOK, LOOKING TRIUMPHANT

So you are taking your new girlfriend to Paris for a few days. It’s romantic, it’s got lots of culture and you will glow in the reflected light of this perfect choice.

MAN CLUTCHING MOULIN ROUGE DVD AND PICTURE OF WOMAN

And, it’s a surprise, well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but you let it slip out because you are so excited about it, you are going to the Moulin Rouge cabaret, because your girlfriend loved that movie and, even if you suspect it’s really Ewan McGregor she loves, you are going to make it come alive for her.

You are a man with a plan. You are going to kick this relationship up a gear or two and — God forbid — if things go well you may even propose on the Eiffel Tower.

FADE IN: ACT 1, SCENE 2

INT. SUBURBAN AMERICAN HOME – NIGHT

MAN SITTING AT DESK WITH COMPUTER

Whoa, steady on there man. Let’s book those flights first. Check.

Hotel? Found a great place in St. Germain, check. Pickup from the airport? Check. Passports, guidebook, cash… check, check, check.

FADE IN: ACT 2, SCENE 1

EXT. PARIS STREET SCENE – DAY

MAN AND WOMAN WALKING HAND IN HAND, IN LOVE

And how well is this going? Uneventful flight, customs was a breeze, a man in a beret holding a sign with your name on it at Charles de Gaulle, the hotel room is divine and your stocks have risen more than you could have ever dreamed.

Early evening, dinner at La Coupole and a walk on the Seine, back to your hotel and maybe now is a good time check with your concierge about Moulin Rouge tickets

FADE IN: ACT 2, SCENE 2

INT. FRONT DESK IN LOBBY OF PARIS HOTEL – NIGHT

MAN STANDING IMPATIENTLY AT CONCIERGE DESK.

CONCIERGE OBVIOUSLY HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN TO HELP MAN

 

CONCIERGE

Saturday night? Of course… but for which month, monsieur?

Surely not this Saturday? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Surely monsieur is joking with me? You Americans like to make your little jokes…

MAN STARTS PACING NERVOUSLY (CLOSE-UP)

 

MAN (VOICE-OVER)

Stay calm. This isn’t happening, OK?

Of course you book this stuff through the concierge, that’s what everyone does.

Geez, mom and dad booked through their concierge when they were here in, well, it was 1975…

WOMAN WALKS OVER TO MAN.

SHE’S BOUGHT A FENDI SCARF AT THE LOBBY SHOP.

 

WOMAN

Darling, the scarf’s a steal at €75 and I’ll need it for the Moulin Rouge later.

There’s always a little nip in the air in the evening.

 

WOMAN PAUSES AND OVERHEARS DISCUSSION BETWEEN MAN AND CONCIERGE

WOMAN IS AGITATED

 

MAN

No babe, there’s no problem. Really, it’s all good, we’ll get the tickets somewhere else…

…no, I didn’t book in advance, the concierge can handle that sort of stuff…

OK, yes, I take your point. He obviously can’t handle this particular request, but if we wanted to go next month he would be happy to help. Well, there’s no need to get upset, let me make some phone calls…

…no, I don’t think I should have let you handle it, I’m quite capable…

…calling me names really won’t help, and no, I don’t agree there’s any relationship between my ability to book a simple thing like a night out and whether I could function as the head of a household. Yes, I’m sure your last boyfriend would have done a great job of arranging things. Well, for that matter my last girlfriend wouldn’t have needed a $200 Gucci scarf to look good in Paris, either.

OK, Fendi, Gucci, I don’t care. Let go of that, it’s got my passport inside.

Oh my God, your nails are sharp… help, security!

FADE OUT:

VOICE-OVER FROM OFF SCREEN

Don’t let this happen to you. Booking key vacation activities ahead of time on Viator.com means you’ll never have to call Security to drag away your disappointed wife / girlfriend / lover. Leave nothing to chance. It is not worth the hassle.

FADE TO BLACK

Rod Cuthbert

Rod Cuthbert is Viator’s Founder & Chairman. He recently attended the Moulin Rouge as a guest of the management, but would have booked online if he had needed to…



One Response to ““Sold Out” – A Love Story Not Meant to Be”

  1. Luke Says:

    What a show stopper. Literally

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